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I don’t think I’ll make it much longer

I never properly talked about you on here but I feel like there's a lot of emotions and memories flowing right now so I'm just gonna let it out. You were my first for many things and you know that(?) but anyways, I don't know what you're doing, how your life is like right now but I wish you do really have a good time and have a good thing going for you . You left me. Or I left you? I don't know how you see it but I feel like you left me without reason and you didn't tell me. But you didn't tell me about it. But you were my first kiss and my first girl crush ((kind of)) and my first make out and my first roller coaster buddy. Being friends with you made me feel invincible. It was like walking on water and I don't know if you ever did feel the same way towards me. But a lot did happen between us and although it was always in my head that we were close that we were like sisters. I felt always comfortable with you and you were one of the few people that really did see the crazy and stupid and bad and fun sides of me. But you let people get between us and let what other people said about me influence whatever your view was. Contrary to your beliefs I took our friendship serious and there are days when I think to myself oh my god what happened or oh my god I friends with her. Or oh my god I went to warped tour with her. I just don't know how you're so strong and yet you don't show weakness but it was weird because I Always felt I was one of the few people that say you at your weakest. I hope you're doing fine. I hope that your dads ok and that your mom is doing good and that your brother is fine and that your sister is good aswell.

#3.21.14 #letters

I think I know you now. But in a strange way I find myself contemplating on whether or not I was good for you or if you were good for me. I miss you I miss us. I miss the days we’d spend at my house, at school and after school. I feel like a took huge part away from you when I did that to you. And I can’t find myself forgiving myself for doing it; but yet I can’t find myself forgiving you for doing all this to me. Honestly, you were a hard person to read and to understand but I feel like you were just mentally different and you had a different mind set. But you had so many secrets and I don’t know how someone does that, how you keep a secret so big from everyone you know and care about. Well, I don’t know if you cared about me,but I feel like you did alittle atleast but you should have someone. I feel like you’re struggling now and you need someone and I want to be there for you but I don’t think you need me to be there for you. And I want to, but so many things are going through my head right now and I don’t want to make assumptions or say I regret anything about you but I don’t know

#3.21.14 #letters