#311619

[quickie-for-real]

Drawing a moustache on little lady with some eyeliner bc im bored and she looks so fucking funny.

[melsimps]

Do we like aesthetic posts of my most specialest boy?

[quickie-for-real]

@lycanthropy-insanity

[quickie-for-real]

Pretty lady in the shower, sat kinda awkward with the other guy... what do we even talk about?

[quickie-for-real]

Im sorry, are you saying that you got stabbed in the KIDNEYS?!

KIDNEY. Singular. Some chick i hooked up with (before Amber and I started being one on one) was really into knives and shit. I had to hide in the bathroom and call one of my coworkers to kick her out (thanks, big guy!)

[quickie-for-real]

Wife is having cow time

And by that, I mean, she's pumping while listening to an audio book of Animal Farm and wearing a cute pair of cow print sweatpants.

Meanwhile, I've got little lady in one of those like... kangaroo baby holder things.

[quickie-for-real]

Ougggghhhh,,,,, wife,,,,, tummy,,,,,

[quickie-for-real]

Another day, and I am yet again reminded that I legally cannot be president.