she reminded me of the sun she loved, but not the heat of it. instead, she had the same beautiful power of its gold, glinting across disheveled hair in the cool tones of the morning, sparking across the landscape of tired eyes. warming not in temperature but in the sense of life & reawakening. i could trust her not to go out, not while i was still alive. i had always been selfish that way, thinking about only the way i couldn’t live in the wake of the dark she would leave behind. but then again, she had always been afraid of the dark as well. she blazed, a celestial body in her own right. brown eyes shockingly bright; skin crafted from a flower’s petals. she was the quiet after sensory overload; the sanctuary between wars; the first blossom after a dead winter. she was the caffeine in my veins, the sugar that sweetened every morning. she was someone you met & could see the stardust in. she was the type of person you marked down on the ‘pros’ side of a list weighing the decision to stay alive. she was the shape of a heart, drawn by an innocuous hand. she was a crater on the moon: the evidence that we had once been apart of the same, separated but so close now, alluringly, mysteriously, keeping things balanced & beautiful. she was the roses. she was life in euphoria, from drugs, from sex, from things innocent & lovely, too. she was life with faceless dolls & no mirrors. life without insecurity. life with a rhythm just right for me to sleep. in her fathomless, brown eyes, turned amber by the sunlight radiating from within her, i could see this fantasy land of happily-ever-after. i could see a life of good things. &, (as she already had), if she could give me a few teardrops of these, it would be worth it to continue down the red brick pathway carved into the sidewalk just outside of her home; a thawed heart, home.
for @babyjanaee
