brought to you by ambiguity: a tommy primer
or, a list of times when tommy was totally not straight.
4/30/13: tommy sits next to ben labolt, is “intimidated,” calls him “eye candy” (x)
4/30/13: feedback from the same cable appearance as above (x)
10/29/13: obama smells like the sunrise according to tommy [bonus, even gayer better answer from favs: obama smells like rainbows and cupcakes] (x)
9/11/16: this zero-context “We draft hot dudes’’ tweet
1/17/17: brought to you by: Ambiguity (!!!)
5/25/17: tommy tags a pic of lovett w/ a “Most Handsome Men” twitter account (x, x)
6/8/17: josh earnest =
6/15/17: psa episode @ 38:52 - tommy listens to the comey hearing in the shower…
6/22/17: andy favs = literal model
7/10/17: a passionate twitter endorsement of jason kander
7/27/17: not from tommy but according to cody… (x)
8/10/17: tommy google searches “suck my own cock gif” [lol, remember the mooch, that ol’ chestnut] (x)
8/21/17: tommy is very fond of boston radio host david allen boucher, who has a “voice of an angel” and a “playlist from heaven” (x)
8/28/17 psa @1:03:00: tommy proposed to hanna on his birthday, after having demanded a birthday party:
“i made a big stink about demanding a birthday party, as a bit of a birthday princess – birthday prince? i don’t want to be gender normative”
9/18/17: he appreciates the austerity measures (x)
9/20/17: during some ad nonsense, tommy admits to blushing bc of lovett’s stare (x)
10/3/17: tommy steers into the skid w/ his responses to lovett’s “tommy is gay now” tweet (x, x)
10/27/17: tim miller ‘looks exquisite tho’ (x)
11/12/17: exquisite pegging (x)
11/15/17: tommy doesn’t agree with people mag’s sexiest man alive pick
11/20/17: jason kander’s voice = silky smooth
11/20/17: tommy winks at favs during an ad read
11/22/17: “like a set of beautiful eyes”
¼/18: tommy makes sure to make a gender neutral metaphor, (h/t to @undeployed for the analysis on this one)
1/20/18: “we’ll recruit a handsome bro” (x)
1/31/18: tommy is suuuper into reading a suggestive electric toothbrush ad (x)
2/14/18: during a q&a livestream w/favs, tommy says sebastian gorka in that vest pic is ‘so hot’ - sarcastic obviously, but it’s just more proof he’s comfortable saying this about a dude. he then lobbies to get said pic put on the screen. this livestream had technical difficulties, so this bit is lost to the ether, but don’t believe me, believe tommy’s shit-eating grin in this screengrab (x) -
3/30/18: pstw ad @ 1:12
3/30/18: in this same pstw episode, when discussing what facebook knows about its users, the first thing tommy rattles off is… “your sexuality”
5/24/18: veering awfully close into talking about ass eating, tommy (x, x)
6/25/18: twitter likes definitely don’t not mean anything you know?
7/11/18: tommy gushes about soccer on pstw w/ roger bennett, who has a voice so “soothing” it’s a “drug” (x)
7/11/18: oh also in that episode he revealed his crush on american soccer player christian pulisic:
Do you think an American star like, uh, Christian Pulisic could be that catalyst? I mean that young man is so handsome, I had to cover my fiancée’s eyes while we watched the 60 Minutes, uh, piece last night, because I didn’t want her to get any ideas. It’s, it’s, it's—horrifying! (x)
Subsection A: He Went to Jared, the case of a raging hate!boner
5/26/17: “sweet, stupid little jared” (x)
7/13/17: jared is a… “bitchy little dilettante”….ok (x)
2/9/18 psa: in a discussion re. security clearances (@~21:00) tommy clarifies that “they actually haven’t given it to jared yet” after lovett says kushner got the high clearance. and a second later tommy tells the audience, “we’ll get there” – i.e., they’ll talk about jared. (but clearly tommy is the only one who’s invested.)
2/28/18: according to tommy, jared is “desperate, stupid, or both” (x)
3/1/18 psa:
3/2/18: tommy starts a new pstw segment so he can explain the j-kush security clearance fiasco
(there’s more where this came from, but i suggest going to twitter dot com and searching this:
)
and finally,
∞: every time tommy says lovett looks good in mvmt sunglasses or the indochino suit. this has happened too many times, as you are no doubt aware
