Bad day on the platform! Tall snatch was, as predicted, incredibly difficult. This highlights my weak third pull and the need for me to develop that part of my snatch. I should've been able to hit a triple at 60 on the snatches and I'd like to blame my misses on my incredibly distracting platform partner, but the truth is that I just need to get better at working around others. "No matter," I told myself, "just work on form if you can't go heavy". Well that didn't really pan out either. In light of the snatch mess, I decided to do deadlifts instead of pulls so that I could feel like I was actually moving some weight around. Hopefully that won't mess up the program too much.
Bad days happen and, if I'm being honest, today wasn't *really* that bad. I learned more about some weaknesses that I have, is all. I can always work on weaknesses.
Lindsay slept soundly over the night, visions of the wedding dancing in her head. She would’ve been sad to be woken up from such a wonderful dream, if she wasn’t about to live it. The first thing Lindsay did when she woke up was smile and feel herself blushing just by thinking about the day she had ahead of her. She picked up her phone and typed up a tweet she’s wanted to type for the last two years:
In a few hours, I will be Lindsay Jones.
In no time, their preparations began. The entire bridal party was hurrying around the room. They were counting the dresses and bouquets, making sure they were all there. They searched for the make-up they know the brought with them. They burnt themselves while doing each other’s hair. Everyone seemed to be in some sort of panic, yet they all laughed. If someone was panicking out of their mind, which so happened to mostly be Barbara, someone quickly cracked a joked and eased the tension. If anything was even beginning to fall apart, someone immediately fixed it.
Lindsay only laughed at everyone. She thought she was the one who was supposed to be anxious and panicking, yet she felt the most calm. She really had to thank Michael, because she probably wouldn’t have been so relaxed if he didn’t crash her Bachelorette party the night before. He reassured her, for the billionth time, that everything was going to be perfect and amazing, and finally, she felt fully confident. She had no real reason to even doubt him to start with, but her self-conscious got the best of her. That was the thing about Michael: he got the best of her and was able to destroy all her doubts with the simplest of kisses or phrase.
Michael always went on about how much she had changed him, but Lindsay could never get herself to full admit to Michael how much he had helped her. She was sure he knew, and that he didn’t need to be told, but she always felt like maybe she needed to blurt it out every once in a while. Before he came around, her self-conscious took over her life. She was ‘fat’, ‘unfunny’, and didn’t exactly belong. Yeah, she was able to pull of her nonchalant attitude, but she always cared. She tried not to, but she always did. She always felt a sort of self-hatred, just because she believed she could be better. She knew she could stop being a “gamer girl” and pretend she didn’t care about all the boyish things. She could wear skirts every day and prove her femininity, and she knew she could just stop eating so much. She believed she could be just change and she could be happy.
Sure, she was able to overcome a lot of these false beliefs on her own, but they still stuck with her. She still felt them haunting her time from time, and she had to force a smile to hide it all. Michael was one of the few people who could see through all that. He knew when she was hurt before she could even say anything. He knew her fake smile and laugh from her bright, genuine ones. And he was always there to fix it. He was always by her side to stop her self-conscious from killing her. He was always there. He could always stop the creeping fear of imperfection and hatred before it could even cross her mind. It was like his super hero.
Michael always fought for her, especially when it came to the classic Internet trolls. He would make a point to watch almost every video she was in, just so she wouldn’t scan the comments as she always did. If she saw a bad comment, he pulled out his endless list of compliments and gave her little kisses to remind her how much he cared about her and how the anonymous comments didn’t mean a thing. He always made sarcastic tweets, in Michael fashion, to combat the haters for her. He even made a video, something he rarely did, to tell everyone off for ever disliking Lindsay. He just never stopped when it came to protecting her.
Lindsay could not have a single doubt about marrying Michael. She just couldn’t. She loved him with her entire being, and he some managed to love her more. If anything, her only fear about the wedding was the party itself. It was a lot of planning and a shit ton of work. To even know there was the slightest chance of something going wrong made her stomach sick. She hated thinking about it, she really did. Barbara managed to catch Lindsay’s sudden anxiety.
"Are you okay?" she asked, looking at the girl in the mirror. "You look like you may throw up."
"I’m good, I’m good," the bride nodded with a slight smile. "I just feel like I’m going to trip and fall on my face." She pulled up her dress slightly, staring at herself in the mirror. "You know, the usually bridal fear."
"Yay, no cold feet," Barbara joked. Lindsay glared at her for a moment before shaking her head with a chuckle. "Well, you look beautiful."
"Thank you," Lindsay widely smiled. "But I have you to thank for that. You know, the whole hair and make up thing, at least."
"But the dress is the real show stopping. Just look at you!" she pointed the girl back to the mirror. "You look like an actual bride!"
"Well, that’s a real shocker," she smirked.
Everyone was finishing their last minute touch-ups when there was a knock on the door. The door creaked open, and the father of the bride peaked in. “It’s almost time,” he smiled. Lindsay stood up from the vanity and ran over to her father, hugging him. “You look beautiful,” he admired his daughter, his eyes becoming teary. “Wow, you’re actually getting married. Today.”
"I know." Lindsay nodded, trying her best not to cry. "And I couldn’t be happier."
Puffing his chest, he looked over to the rest of the girls. “It’s time to go,” he told them before looking down at his little girl. “We have a wedding to go to.”
Lindsay clutched her father’s arm as she waited for the music to start. All the groomsmen and bridesmaids were lined up, chattering with excitement. Lindsay felt like it was taking forever. She felt she had been standing in this same spot for an hour, and not the 10 minutes she actually was. She just wanted to see her Michael already. She just wanted see him at the end of the aisle, and no one allowed her a sneak peak. She just wanted to run down the aisle already.
As the music begun, she stood up straight and squeezed her father’s arm in excitement. He smiled at her as two by two, people made their way down the aisle. As soon as she saw the last person slip into the chapel, her heart began to race.
