50 days of writing about what turns me on:
4. Teacher's Pet (Being "Good")
5. Needy and Greedy (Feeling "Forbidden" Emotions)
8. House Special (Doing the Play the Other Person Feels Best/Most Experienced At- Or Enjoys the Most)
10. Denial/Orgasm Control
11. Being "Hot" (Looking Pretty/Attractive to Someone)
12. That First, Delicious Moment of Sinking into Trance
15. Evocative Hypnotist Smiles
18. Pleasure Conditioning
20. Involuntariness (Feeling Like Things Are Happening without Conscious Volition)
21. Evil Therapist Tropes
23. Attention (Having Someone's Attention)
24. Innocence (And Being Corrupted)
25. Relaxation as a Pathway to Arousal
26. Almost-Telepathic Rapport
27. Incredibly Deep Trance
30. Strong/Buff Women (and Rasslin')
32. Being Taught or Coached
34. Witchcraft (Witchy Tropes)
37. Covert Hypnosis and General Hypnotic Sneakiness
38. Intentional Vulnerability
41. A Touch of Patronization
45. Voice Changes (and Hypnotic Voices)
It's strange- I thought when I finished this I'd have a very clear picture of my sexuality and what turns me on. Looking at the list overall, it feels pretty piecemeal. It's hard to sum up something as vast and quirky as "what I think is hot" with a list.
Still, I'm glad I wrote it. My goal was to write a spontaneous entry every day and doing that gave me some insight into both how I was feeling during different days and how different fetishes feel exciting at different times. It also helped me think deeply about what turns me on about some of my fetishes and why they're interesting to me. I may add entries past 50 if more thoughts come up. (The 50 was always an artificial limit I posed on myself anyway.)
As I was writing, I felt like I was covering a lot of switchy interests and being very conscious of the ways I enjoy play from the bottom and from the top. The entries felt pretty balanced between top and bottom as I was writing them. I even tried to make them more balanced- when I wrote a bottom-leaning entry, I'd try and write a top-leaning entry the next day. However, when I look back, there are about 24 items I enjoy primarily as a bottom, about 14 I enjoy primarily as a top, and 7 that feel 50/50 pure switchy. (The rest don't really neatly fall into top/bottom/switch categories.) That's more lopsided than I anticipated. I don't know if that signals I'm more of a bottom-leaning switch or if it's the result of having recent new, exciting bottomy play with a new partner and fantasizing more about that. I wonder if my list 6 months from would be different.
I'd be curious if any of you out here have thoughts on this list. Is there anything that's surprising? Anything you want to ask about? Especially if you know me well- is there anything obvious I'm leaving out?
If this kind of exercise sounds fun to you, I encourage you to try it! @misscammiedawn finished her list yesterday- it's here if you want to see her entries. Both @ultinath and @h-sleepingirl are doing projects - Nath was writing hypnokinky essays and Sleepingirl has just started writing their own days of fetish entries. I highly recommend you check all of these Tumblrs out for insights and some great, thoughtful writing.
