#5:41am

[ajyal-azez]

كطلّة الفجرِ وكخيوط شمس الصباح..

أنتظر قدومه، هادىءٌ ساكنٌ بِقربيّ.

[hyuuukais]

debating calling into work hmm

[youarejustintime]

I love my giant, lesbian, killing machine and her astronaut, war hero, olympian gf

[dwellingsofadaydreamer-blog]

I opened my heart to you,

for you.

I vacated the atriums and emptied the chambers.

I abandoned my soul and deserted my spirit,

forsaking every rule and law of nature,

for you.

For you to inhabit me,

fulfil me,

occupy and complete me.

But you drained me,

depleted me.

Dug your way through me until I was as hollow as a grave,

as blank as your eyes.

I lay myself bare,

I let myself go,

And now,

I must let go of you, too

— B.K

[weminence]

Previously on Day 294-230

This is gonna be a ride and I’m gonna hate it because I have to do this shit on my phone. Yay.

Day 294: 20 July 2017

I don’t know what I did. I didn’t write.

Day 295: 21 July 2017

I’ve been shitty at taking care of myself and my shit and this shouldn’t be a surprise. THERE WAS A CAT THO AND THAT WAS AMAZING.

Day 296: 22 July 2017

Nothing

Day 297: 23 July 2017

Not a thing. I mightve done something for school, but I didn’t write.

Day 298: 24 July 2017

I don’t think I write anything until yesterday and by yesterday I mean the 25 but it’s technically the 27 and I haven’t slept yet.

Day 299: 25 July 2017

I wrote for Starling but nothing else and I have to completely rewrite my outline because I forgot it in Cali. Great.

Day 300: 26 July 2017

I was awoken this afternoon by the beautiful sound of my phone ringing and a potential job opportunity has been placed at my feet. I am happy but it’s going to take me an hour to walk there. 😬😬😬 I wrote for Chosen, deleted it because I didn’t like it, did some online orientation stuff but couldn’t finish it because there’s an assignment that has to be graded 😑😑 found names for Chosen characters, listened to some Percy Jackson. I cooked and ate and actually took a shower. It was kind of productive but blegh it wasn’t enough to satisfy me.

Goals for Today: Write for at least four out of seven things, use my bullet journal, take care of my face, wake up at like one 😩😩, read, clean up, finish orientation if possible.

[imstillhealing-blog1]

To the boy/girl who broke your heart: I realize now laying here in my bed at 5:41 am that I don’t need you anymore. I discovered all I need in this recovery process is myself, because you weren’t the best fit for me and I am my own best fit. You didn’t respect my time that I poured out and sacrificed to you, you didn’t appreciate me as a human being but made me feel lesser then one. After pouring my love into you, I am taking all the late night texts, sneaking out, and all the times we laughed and made a memory and I putting those back into me in a form of loving myself again. It’s a good thing that I realized now that I need to start loving myself because I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore. The only thank you get is thanks for making me realize I can’t love a ignorant person like you ever again but I love a beautiful person like myself which I’m going to do. P.S. You suck at cuddling Sincerely, The one person you will never get to love you ever again.

[entry41-blog]

its almost 6 am gnight!

[ajyal-azez]

نحنٌ النسمة الهادئة، التي تَهّبُ وتنشر عبيرها في الأرجاء، وتجعل من اليابس أخضراً ومن الأرض الجدباء حياة ً، بِفعل قوتها وبحضور رقتها على سطح المكان.