Oct 30, 2025
قمر اللّيلة في المنتصفِ تمامًا، بين الظلمة والنور.
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قمر اللّيلة في المنتصفِ تمامًا، بين الظلمة والنور.
آمن روعاتي.
لا غرابة في صدر روحي فإنها قد هوت، خيوط شمسك
في السماء قبل مغيبها على ساحة جسدي.
أنْ تتساقط الآن حبات المطر
ويتغير مكاني وزماني
ويحّل البحر أمامي،
وبِموج شاطئة يسقي عطشي
ويقلبُ كياني.
The Serrated Blade
it only went deeper and deeper, into my moral infrastructure, straight through my arteries and veins, and it was suffocating. my core beliefs were being stripped of life, with each and every progression of the blade, and each and every swear of truth to you and myself. there came a point where I believed I could dislodge the blade outward, but I knew I couldn’t fathom the pain that i would endure.
the blade continued transverse from my lower back quickly starting to begin through my stomach and intestines, and edging towards my lungs and my heart. i could only feel all of that we had consumed of each other: the days of ruthless violence and rage, laced with the trauma inducive life lessons, the months of intoxication, drug experimentation, and artificial bliss, all tightly bound by our simple gazes, our electric sexual collisions, our green adventures, and our seemingly impenetrable burning red string. all hemorrhaging out of my intestines and my stomach, not only because of the sharpened dual edged serrated blade, but also because of the venom that was coated onto the blade. this venom was deviously devised by: bodily gratification, emotionless lust, and the hypnotizing need for another orgasmic fix. every time this venom made contact with the blood that fueled our life together, it would burn like alcohol on a wound, and it would metastasize throughout my body, with each and every swear of truth to you and myself.
it was until the blade punctured my lungs, where I had inhaled my last few breathes, that I realized that you could have helped me right from the beginning, but at that point it was too late. and the truth that I had sworn to you and myself, was finally proven to be false. the blade was finally thrusted through the heart, and as the venom surged through, there was an image of my arm around your neck, turning the serrated blade, slowly retracting it from the deep wound.
i learned that we had shared this body of experience this entire time. I thought that you wouldn’t have felt the stab of the blade, to any comparable extent in which I did, and that I was only hurting myself. but it was after I had finally seen the tip of the coated serrated blade, and your body falling towards the floor, that i realized that I didnt feel the retraction of the blade to any extent in which you did.
Cortes
Y en este preciso instante, vuelvo a imaginar la escena en la que estuve pensando hace unas horas.
¿De verdad ella me considerará una amiga?¿De verdad estaría dispuesta a dibujarme algo en el brazo?¿No haría muchas preguntas si le digo que preferiría no responder?
Ojalá tuviera la confianza para pedirle que me hiciera uno de sus preciosos dibujos en el brazo (en la muñeca izquierda).
Tal vez así, las ganas de querer cortarme paren, porque no sería capaz de destruir algo tan bonito en lo que ella haya invertido tiempo alguno.
No sería capaz de destruir algo que ha hecho para mí. Ella es demasiado hermosa y destruir algo que ha creado no sería justo.
Menos aún si es para ayudarme, aunque ella no lo sepa.
على كل السلام الذي يسكننا و لو لثواني ، شكرا يالله وحمدا ، أن نعلم أنا مهما تاهت أنفسنا هناك سلاما قد يسكنها حمدا وشكرا يالله 🙏