#7thlord

[peerlesscucumbr]

'i never want to go back to how things were, xi-- shen-shidi.' his gaze can only meet their knuckles, his dark brows curiously quivering. 'i just wish -- i could have done things differently.' a pause, a tired sigh passes his lips. 'for us.' @7thlord

There are over a thousand stars in the sky , yet not a single one shines their guiding light upon Cang Qiong sect’s leader. There is no ‘us’ in this story , no second chances , no reconciliations. There is only a forgotten life and a man left behind who so desperately clutches at what can never be.

The one he strove so hard to protect was already gone , and Shen Yuan was the impostor wearing this skin.

Yue Qingyuan did not deserve such a fate.

He wonders what would happen were he to tell the truth. Your Xiao Jiu is no longer here, but I think he would forgive you.  Even as he suffered , he believed in you until he could truly no longer wait. Did you know he wanted to find your body ? He never stopped caring.

— but that is an impossible thing to do . 

Shen Yuan did not often wish in earnest. There were always the passing throwaway comments , I wish this would update faster , or the ones that he asked for once and never again , long forgotten. If he could make a wish to the Heavens that surely must exist , in this realm at least , he would ask for the two of them to be able to meet once again. He isn’t sure if Cang Qiong mountain will crumble first , or if he’ll walk hand in hand with death once again before this can happen , but  no matter what this is a wish he will not relent on. Whether Shen Jiu or Yue Qingyuan can wait for each other that long , is up to them. What is immortality with so many regrets ? He’s sure someone out there is waiting 500 , 800 , 1000 years ; the world is funny , taking and giving , but rarely in equal measures.

Comforts of the future are no comforts at all , however and he has nothing to offer the sect leader . Reminiscing would only feel like a lie , kind words an insult. 

“ What happened in the past ,” he hesitates , “ I’ve already let go of it.  What’s done is done . For me , there is nothing that needs to be forgiven. You have already done enough. ” 

[jyotishgher]

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[jyotishgher]

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[jyotishgher]

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[peerlesscucumbr]

lets their knuckles brush as they walk together uou @thlord

It’s one of those days , where Qing Jing peak’s lord actually had a decent night sleep , and was less prone to bite the head off of anyone who approached him , and more likely to glare at them until they left.

All in all , he was in a good mood. 

There’s no where in the world that’s safe , this he knows , but at the very least around Yue Qingyuan there’s some illusion of it. The silence doesn’t grate on his nerve , and the lull of their steps is surprisingly calming as he soaks in their place. From gutter rats , covered in grime and dirt , now standing on top of mountains like some divine being granted the privilege to live and choose. 

The barest of touches pass between them , fleeting like leaves caught in the winds , and still it burns against his skin as he decisively pulls his hand away. His steps falter , until he’s completely still. In the extended pause he stares at his own hand , frown etched into his face. 

He scowls , grabbing Yue Qingyuan’s hand , fingers entwining , before he twists his head to the side unwilling to look at his companion. “ Didn’t I tell you always to finish the job ? If you’re going to do that ; do it properly. ”

[leafdreamt-blog]

[ kiss + soft ] @7thlord

    though young, they can no longer be considered innocent- not after what they’ve gone through, the horrors that no child has ever had to experience but- but with the cover of blankets over their heads, breaths mingling together in the shared space and hands clasped together, both too shy to close the distance but unwilling to part all the same. it was as if they’d returned to the past when their world was just them and nothing else mattered. 

     in the winter’s chill, shen shi shivers and edges closer to his … .. senior now, was it? their intertwined fingers bring them closer together, and everything is hazy- – his thoughts, the heat around them, the darkness in the corner of the peak they’ve snuck themselves. though neither of them speak, it’s enough for the both of them to simply embrace each other, to soak in the presence they’ve each missed in the years apart. 

as the night grows darker and his eyes grow heavier, he feels a gentle press against his lips. with it comes warmth and satisfaction, the thought of the two of them, safe and happy- together- it’s indescribable. the rhythmic beats of yue qi’s heart lulls him to sleep.

hh hh h hh h h h hh h // @7thlord​

[peerlesscucumbr]

"Xiao-.. Shen-shidi...It wasn't my intention." @7thlord

@7thlord

He’s sorry , it’s wasn’t his intention , pretty words to mask the ugliness of his actions. Honey doesn’t taste sweet to the boy who’s choked on it one too many times. Just say it Qi Ge , he wants to say , you want nothing to do with me. You were always destined for something better right ? It’s a beautiful story , oh orphan boy with a soul made of gold , and skin littered with diamonds. Is it fun Yue Qingyuan , to be what you were always meant to be ?

Such a pretty tale is not fitting for someone like Shen Jiu.

His soul is rotten , his flesh festering , bones mended wrong , scars that remain even as his body showed no traces of them ; he can only wrap it all in fine silk and hold it tight before it all spills out for everyone to see. Were he a better man he would leave this old grudge behind , and be satisfied for the position he has now .  -  but he is poison , and he is pestilence , and he cannot help but to infect this lofty sect leader with his putrid ichor , even when in his heart he knows he does not deserve it. 

( After all , given the choice , he would’t return for someone like himself either. )

Only it hurt that the only time Yue Qingyuan used his brain was when it concerned him. Noble boy , always coming to the rescue for everyone except the one left behind with a promise. His jaw clenches at the deception .

“Then tell me, ” he says slowly , with his tight lipped smile , unnatural , painted upon his face “ What was your intention ? ”

“ Was it your intention to run farther so that’d I’d never catch up to you ? Or perhaps you expected a couple good long years would leave me dead ? What was it , Yue Qingyuan , what part of me did you hope would die first ? My mind so I would no longer remember your promise ? My soul so I could not become a vengeful spirit ? Or my heart so — ” he shuts his mouth tight , suppressing so I could forget how much I loved you . “ Forget it — ”