'i never want to go back to how things were, xi-- shen-shidi.' his gaze can only meet their knuckles, his dark brows curiously quivering. 'i just wish -- i could have done things differently.' a pause, a tired sigh passes his lips. 'for us.' @7thlord
There are over a thousand stars in the sky , yet not a single one shines their guiding light upon Cang Qiong sect’s leader. There is no ‘us’ in this story , no second chances , no reconciliations. There is only a forgotten life and a man left behind who so desperately clutches at what can never be.
The one he strove so hard to protect was already gone , and Shen Yuan was the impostor wearing this skin.
Yue Qingyuan did not deserve such a fate.
He wonders what would happen were he to tell the truth. Your Xiao Jiu is no longer here, but I think he would forgive you. Even as he suffered , he believed in you until he could truly no longer wait. Did you know he wanted to find your body ? He never stopped caring.
— but that is an impossible thing to do .
Shen Yuan did not often wish in earnest. There were always the passing throwaway comments , I wish this would update faster , or the ones that he asked for once and never again , long forgotten. If he could make a wish to the Heavens that surely must exist , in this realm at least , he would ask for the two of them to be able to meet once again. He isn’t sure if Cang Qiong mountain will crumble first , or if he’ll walk hand in hand with death once again before this can happen , but no matter what this is a wish he will not relent on. Whether Shen Jiu or Yue Qingyuan can wait for each other that long , is up to them. What is immortality with so many regrets ? He’s sure someone out there is waiting 500 , 800 , 1000 years ; the world is funny , taking and giving , but rarely in equal measures.
Comforts of the future are no comforts at all , however and he has nothing to offer the sect leader . Reminiscing would only feel like a lie , kind words an insult.
“ What happened in the past ,” he hesitates , “ I’ve already let go of it. What’s done is done . For me , there is nothing that needs to be forgiven. You have already done enough. ”












