Imagine becoming the weird bone collector in Erebor
*having dinner in Thorin's study*
Thorin: I can't figure this out *staring at a folder and ignoring his dinner*
You: figure what out *picking the food you want off his plate*
Thorin: for some god awful reason some one keeps buying the large bones from our hunters and furriers, which we use a lot in making steel. I've had Dwalin, Nori, and the royal guard investigate and we don't catch them and they buy the bones out from under me.
You: *sweats nervously and shoves your bag full of defleshed skulls under the table.*
Thorin: they've been doing it for almost two months, the hunters only come once a week with their game. The furriers come twice a week, this asshole swoops in and buys the bones for a ridiculous price. Two gold coins for a skull, and five silver for all other bones. Who outside of the company has the money for that?
You: I don't know
Thorin: *looks up from the file to his plate and sees half of his steak missing along with all his mashes potatoes and gravy and to your guilty face with a bit of mashed potato on your chin* stealing my food again? *leans forward and licks the mashed potato off you*
You: yup, would them buying bones every other week be okay?
Thorin: it's you isn't it?
You: ...yes, I didn't know.
Thorin: you bought bones today, where are they?
You: *shows him your bag*
Thorin: *sighs* yeah every other week would be find, just try to only purchase two skulls maximum.
*a week later*
Thorin: *comes over to your chambers for tea* ah so this is what you go with all of the bones
You: *looks at the decorative jars full of bones, and shelves piled in skulls* um yeah, I just really like bones. Now I'm thinking of moving on to crystals and plants to complete the aesthetic.
Thorin: you bought all these bones for aesthetic?
You: and because I find them interesting and I like to arrange them artfully for fun.
Thorin: *puts his face in his hands and laughs* god damnit (y/n), you nearly caused a steel shortage for your aesthetic, that's such a you thing to do.
You: what can I say, I'm committed.
