Send “Grief” for a drabble about my muse grieving when yours has died.
I suggest listening to this if you want more feels
Thismessenger should not be standing in front of her. Not with a broken bow. Notwith his pack and all of his things. This was some sort of sick joke. Her browfurrowed, her expression hardened and she snatched his thingsaway. “You’re wrong!” She shouted at the poor soul who had to inform herof her companion’s passing. Within that moment, the woman had taken off down adifferent corridor. And in that little burst of her grief, did the world seemto just fall apart around her. For a moment she stopped, her body curling overitself as she lifted Beleg’s possessions so she could hide her face, the tearsflowing without hesitation.
She muffled her sobs into the pack, not wantinganyone to hear how much grief she was truly in. She couldn’t afford to be sad. Everyonehad a job to do…hers was to ensure the people that everything would befine…that it was the guards job tosacrifice themselves.
But how could she be? All she wanted to do was be selfish andcry…because she loved oneof those who died…just like everyone else. Someone who had passed in theirpatrol was someone’s loved one…how could she stand there and not breakdown?
Finduilas held everything tight in her arms, her feet carryingher towards their chambers, her back pressed against the wood to close it untilshe heard it click shut. Her blue orbs looked around the room they had shared.Each of their taste decorating every wall, corner, and window. All of thisempty space was now suffocating, and she didn’t think the feeling would ever goaway.
She reached behind her andturned the lock until the loud ‘thud’ washeard, and then, she slid down the door until she was seated, and once more,curled into a ball, holding his things tight within her arms. No longer wouldhe teach her to use this bow…no longer would they spar in the ring. No morereading at night. No more kisses goodnight. No more fighting over what to do orwhat to eat, or anything in between. She didn’t know how she could get throughthe night anymore. Her heart had fallen into her stomach when the news wasgiven to her. The blonde didn’t know if she could take any more grief in herlife. It felt like everything inside of her was falling, crumbling, and fadinginto nothing.
What was there to live on fornow? They had come to Doriath…she had almost become his. Her fingers began tofiddle with the designed ring he had given her, the sorrow rising in her chestas she found herself looking down to it.
“…why couldn’t you havestayed alive…just a bit longer?” She breathed as she leaned her head backagainst the door. Fin tried to blink the tears back, fighting them with all herstrength so that she could seem strong. Now what would she do? Without him…thisnew place didn’t feel like home. Sure, his family was kind, but they were nothim…they were not the man that she had gone to bed with most every night foryears on end. She didn’t have memories with them…just knew their names andtheir faces.
She sat forwards and placedall of his things together in one pile, her hand delicately running over thewood of the bow, remembering him teaching her how to properly shoot. Theintricate little design she had placed on the edge…a charm for good luck. Shestood from her spot and moved over to the desk, her hands lay flat on thesmoothed wood, then gently unraveled some of the pages on the table. Her eyesfound every stroke of each letter, his name, letters to each other…his favoritebooks to have her read. All of it was now a painful reminder of him. Finduilasslumped down in his chair, crossed her arms on the table, and buried her facein them.
There was nothing left tofight for. Finduilas ran her hands through her hair, the anxiety continuing tobuild in her, tears continuing to flow down her cheeks.
Finduilas stood, her bodyfeeling like she was lifting the weight of the world. Everything just felt soheavy. This must be what fading felt like…she couldn’t imagine years of thisuntil it finally took her life. She knew he would not want her to be like this,but how do you go on after you lose one of the most important people of yourlife?
She carried herself over totheir bed, and with a great heaviness, Fintuilasse crawled onto his side andpulled the covers over herself and silently lay there. His cologne was laced inwith the sheets, and it aided her slightly, but not much. Maybe this would help…maybe it would be as if he were near.Maybe just with this, she could last a while longer….
