#9.9.2021

[prosy-days]

September 9, 2021 - Day 82

I've taken to reading short story collections in pairs and I'm not sure quite why.

[illuminatedpopcorn]

[godsnameisjoy]

TWO MEDITATIONS

Date: 9 September 2021

Meditation 1

Duration: 34 minutes at 10:28 AM

Depth:

I just want to spend more time with the blessed life energy. It is the energy that kept me shaking through nearly the entire session. Only in the beginning was I without energetic shakes. It would be impossible to concentrate on anything if one gave one’s attention to a body shaking with excess energy. And that’s why one has to make an effort to be with one’s meditation technique.

It is difficult to spend time effortlessly with something that you are still getting used to. The amount of shaking due the tremendous amount of life energy, is overwhelming. I am still getting used to shaking with life energy. A part of me can’t believe the good fortune of experiencing life energies.

Meditation 2

Duration: 46 minutes at 8:49 PM

Depth:

I enter meditation sessions with an expectation that I will shake with loosened life energy.

I can not afford to take these energies for granted.

I can’t tell at the beginning of any session if these energies will be or will not be shaking my body.

My body is yet to get used to so much energy.

My mind can remain body bound through entire sessions like it did during this one.

I was grateful to be meditating. It is better than idle talk.

I felt profoundly grateful during this session. Gratitude goes out to the saints I pray to and the line of gurus at the Yogoda Satsang Society whom I pray to.

‘Grateful to saints and gurus for introducing me to the tremendous life energy that’s in all of us.

Until loosened via meditation, we are literally sitting on a tremendous God given energy.

[puregrief]

بضحك فشخ كل ما أفكّر إني كويسة نفسيًا ومفيش حاجة وتمام وبعدين أقعد مع نفسي كام دقيقة من غير أي تشتيت وأقدر أسمع أفكاري وقد ايه مش كويسة ولا هكون كويسة.

الضحك ده كله لمين يا دماغي؟

[puregrief]

والله كده كفاية أوي ع الإنسان. كفاية فشخ.

الإنسان: أنا.

[puregrief]

حِمل الليالي تقيل...

[puregrief]

Bought an expensive face cleanser and lotion and I'm afraid I will put it under too much pressure that it won't be able to meet my expectations. I want you to cleanse my soul and moisturizer my sorrow into a sweet fluff! Can you do that? Can you fucking do that? Look me in the eye and tell me you will!

[puregrief]

Wish there was some kind of pill to make me tolerate life, or be willing to live it for that matter, and feel content. I'm not even saying happy, just content.