#a read more

[1rttdklwn]

Let me save you from your past, wǒ shēn ài zhe nǐ

[fe-husband-heaven]

tUMBLR DIDNT DO A READ MORE FOR MOBILE U R SO MEAN I HATE IT HERE XHSGAYASH

[finalvlog-a]

[ clean ]  your muse cleaning a smudge of something off mine’s cheek , forehead , etc .   feel free to specify what and how .  cleaning some dirt / blood off his cheek getting Alex ready to talk to sara???

@gcdsaved​ // [ ACCEPTING _ nonsexual acts of dominance ]

[ CLEAN ]  your muse cleaning a smudge of something off mine’s cheek , forehead , etc .   feel free to specify what and how .

              Anempty gaze lingers on the man kneeling in front of him. They’re in a church, inthe church and Alex is holding a 1911in his right hand, aiming it at the back of a person’s head who he never metbefore. He didn’t even know his name, but Johndid. John Seed, who held a white leather book in his hand, emblazoned withthe symbol of Joseph, of Eden’s Gate. Alex tries not to think too deeply on it.Tries not to think about the journey that led him to HOLDING a gun and aimingit at whoever John told him to. Tries notto think.

              It’sdifficult and he can’t entirely stop thinking.That may be part of why John kept him around. Try as he might to be a mindlessfollower, he still hesitated, still questioned some things. But this was the ultimate test to see if he would followorders despite whatever conflicts arose in his mind. The atonement for theseresistance members was not going smoothly. One had agreed to it, theirsin of G R E E D cut away from theflesh of their bicep before they were dragged away to join the cult. It left abitter taste in Alex’s mouth and his lips twitched down at the corners but hedidn’t say anything. Another had already been killed by a peggie and her bodydragged out. Now it was just him, John and the final sinner in the church. Ha, it sounded almost like a rhyme, a song in the making. Oh god he hoped not. The cultists just might write one up if he mentioned it. Best to keep that to himself. His thoughts meander while he keeps the gun trained on the man that had been tattooed with W R A T H smack dab over his heart.

              Theguy had an impressive amount of cursewords to throw at John. Alex wasn’t religious, not even close despite his working alongside John, but he felt a prickle of unease whenever an F bomb wasdropped in the holy structure. Just because he didn’t believe didn’t mean hewould disrespect a place of worship. That was tacky.

              Cleargreen eyes flick up to meet blue mid-rant from the ‘sinner’ and John smiles at him. It’s crooked, one sidequirked more than the other and he lifts his shoulders in a shrug as though tosay, ‘What can you do?’ He raises the hand that’s not holding onto a bloodyknife and twists his wrist, fingers flicking to show he’s done with this one.Alex looks down at the back of the man’s head. From this angle he could bemistaken for Alex actually. Same short brown hair, a similar red plaid shirt to the one he’d worn when he’d first arrived in Hope County. It’s a startling revelation and when helooks back up at John, he’s grinning.

              Oh. So this was more than a test ofwhether or not he would do as he was told. It was a symbolic thing too. Killinghis old self. Alex scowls at John, and pulls the trigger without hesitation. Thebody slumps forward, face down at John’s feet. Neither break eye contact andwith the guy now dead, the church was quiet in the wake of the bang. Eerily so. Alex knows the drill bynow. Whenever he was given a weapon, he wasn’t allowed to keep it. This was the first time he’d been given a gun instead of aknife or bat, but it’s the same protocol. He turns the pistol around and holds itout towards John, grip first. John takes it, still smiling and holsters it withone smooth, practiced motion. He steps over the body, closing the distancebetween them with two large steps.

              Helifts a hand, and cups one side of Alex’s face, his thumb brushing across hischeekbone in a swiping motion, back and forth, back and forth. It’s soothingand Alex allows the contact, leaning forward because like with handing over the gun, he knows what’s comingnext. Their foreheads touch and stilltheir eyes are open, locked on one another. From this close he can smell therain from the storm outside clinging to John’s clothes and the gun oil he’dused to clean the pistol earlier that morning.

              “I toldyou little brother. You’d be my good boy.” The praise sounds genuine and Alex blinks at him, ashamedat the memory those words bring up. He’s the first to look away and when hedoes John lifts his other hand, and pickssomething out of his hair. Alex glances to his hand before he flicks it aside.It was a chunk of flesh. John then lickshis thumb and wipes it across Alex’s cheek, right underneath his eye. All thewhile he keeps one palm firmly pressed to the side of his face, the opposite thumbstill swiping back and forth, back and forth.Alex sighs, his eyes closing to block out the visual of John Seed. If he doesn’t think he can pretend it’s Hannah,pretend it’s his mom.

              Thehand along his face slides behind to grip the back of his neck and he opens hiseyes, faces reality. Faces JOHN. Thelast bit of blood spray is wiped clean and John nods in approval.

              “Can’thave you looking like you shot someonebefore we go see Sara now can we?”

              That gets his attention. His eyes widenand he straightens up.

              “Areyou lying?”

              Johnsmiles, soft and sharp.

              “No.”

              He’dpassed the test. The strings are cut. He relaxes beneath John’s hand and swaysforward, leaning into him and setting his forehead against one shoulder.

              He hated him.

[missfame]

i think something that hits you especially hard when you’re in a low place is not feeling that same sort of happiness you once felt about the one thing that made you happy? and that’s the path drag/local drag is heading for me. i know i tell y'all to experience drag beyond your screens and i still stand by that….but sometimes i miss just being a spectator of drag.

the fact that the local drag scene is where practically my only social circles exist is kind of taking its toll on me. mostly because it’s rooted in night life and more specifically - drinking, drugs, partying, etc. i don’t really do any of those things under most circumstances but i feel awkward being the only sober one. i shouldn’t feel that way. it takes me back to first year of university where i would drink literally 3 times a week or more and get almost blackout just so i can vibe with the ppl in my dorm.

idk i use to be fine with all these things. i use to be fine with the big crowds and staying out till 4AM (even though i still only drank on occasion) but for whatever reason, it’s all been catching up on me?? i was so excited to come to toronto after being stuck in my parents’ place for the summer but last night was the 2nd night in a row, i turned in early just so i could walk around by myself and contemplate EVERYTHING.

i know you can’t force yourself into extrovertism but as a kid who faced times where they had NO FRIENDS because of how painfully shy they were, i’ve come such a long way. now i feel like i’m crawling back into that shell and reversing what i’ve fought so hard to accomplish socially.

i don’t know what to do. part of me wants to take steps back but i feel like i’m already so withdrawn and i’m losing friendships that i value. i don’t want to isolate myself because not only is drag the glue that binds most of my platonic relationships, but it was also my escape and a place where i can forget about my shitty home life and everything else i’ve been dealing with. i don’t wanna lose any of that or the friendships that have come with it but i’m just not happy anymore and forcing myself to be is exhausting.

[gurotm-blog]

WOLF’S  FULL  BIO.

｛Age 11｝: Wolf can’t remember much about his parents, any vague memories generally come back to him in fragments, so inconsequential that he’s learnt to ignore them. As far as he’s concerned he’s only ever had one family; the Silver Lake wolf pack. ‘Wolf’ was the title Sam gave him, upon learning that he knew not of his actual name, as for the first few months he refused to reclaim his mortal facade, opting to stay in the shape of a wolf. Unlike many of his kin his transformations were always effortless, the general agony never display as Wolf shifted between man and beast. He adapted well, soon enough finding his place within the pack’s rankings, kindling quick friendship with the other members, learning that some of them; like he, had no biological family to speak of, that the pack was all that they had and as he matured it was something he came to cherish. ｛Age 15｝: Sam approached them with a proposal, the way they conducted themselves was out-dated and they were becoming more and more isolated from the rest of society. He asked, if they’d be content with moving to a larger, more urbanized area and despite some hesitance that arose (Especially within the elders) they eventually agreed to take this step. It was then, that the group began to dissipate into the mortal realm, the young were sent to appropriate educational facilities, the elders remained stiff in regards to change, opting to reside only at the same location as their alpha and the adults began perusing their own occupational desires. Wolf, like some of the others had issues adapting to the mortal expectations at first, rebelling against the order of their teachers, getting sanctioned and some, eventually were forsaken by the school system. Forced to search for work, or maintain their canine forms and take to the wild again (Some of them did.) ｛Age 17｝: Wolf remained within the schooling system, learning new techniques of survival and maintaining a relatively ‘human’ facade around his classmates. It was this ability to adapt that allowed him to claim a position close to his Alpha, eventually, by the time he graduated at 19 he was regarded as Sam’s right hand man and had a say in a majority of the actives they partook in. —-（It can be decided to leave this part out depending on the Rp）— ｛Age 19｝: For a while Wolf held a part-time job at a local cafe, serving confectioneries and beverages, it was here that he met Renee. She was a creature of the city, having been born and raised there, familiar with the code and relishing the life the humans allowed her to have, secret as it was. For like him, she was also a wolf but one that had never sampled the forest’s crisp air, or felt the foliage beneath her pads. In a way, he felt sorry for her. It was these feelings that urged him to offer her a trip, a car trip to his roots, to the forest where the Silver Lake pack had first been formed and a chance to glimpse the the reality of what they were. This happened multiple times and eventually, much to everyone’s amusement the two began dating. （They’d been waiting /ages/ for one of them to ask the other out.） ｛Age 21｝: It was on her twenty first birthday that Wolf proposed to her, at first; she was surprised, taking a leap such as this could change alot of things but they were inseparable, anyone could see that. Renee accepted his offer and it was six months later that she informed Wolf that she was pregnant. Wolf never expected that he’d become a father, anticipation causing him to dote even more on his fiance but things came to an abrupt end when complications caused their child to be still-born. Renee was grief stricken, inconsolable; weeping until her body could no longer maintain consciousness and he was forced to sit by and watch this, no matter what he did; she refused to be drawn from her state of sorrow. It was this pain, this desperation that led Renee to assault a mortal couple and their infant, leaving the male mortally wounded and attempting to haul the child from it’s pram. She was stopped by two of her pack-mates who dragged the thrashing female back to their leader. A trial was held, she was found guilty and her punishment would be execution, her selfish act had put them all at risk; she knew that and even in the face of demise she laughed, glaring defiantly at them and blaming their ancestors for the tragedy that befell her. Wolf pleaded with Sam to reconsider, promising to change things, to help her but his Alpha wouldn’t hear of it, there was no way to change the past and gossip was already spreading like wild-fire. He apologized to Wolf as the two watched her punishment unfold and after, he could do little but claim the cadaver of his beloved, announcing that he was leaving the Silver-Lake pack and moving on. ｛Age 23:｝ Wolf now works full time as a detective/officer under a private branch of the police force. Keeping the creatures that intermingle with mortal society in line and sanctioning those who refuse to abide by their laws. He’s dedicated to his occupation, obsessively so; using such to distract himself from persistent and painful memories.

[battlebunne]

[toxicspikes]