#a small responsibility

[anunwaveringdevotion]

"Dear Father,"

Dearest Father,

I hope you will forgive this selfish interruption. I know you are very busy lately, but I had hoped that a lighthearted note would help to ease your burdens just a little, though I may be overconfident in my under-practiced letters. I will resolve to work harder at lessons, if only to provide you with correspondence worth reading. 

I was told recently that your birthday had come and passed! I wish I had known beforehand, in order to give you my best wishes. Everyone is able to celebrate together at the New Year, but there’s something special about hearing good things on a day just for you, don’t you think? Perhaps that’s overconfident again, hmm… In any case, I suppose I pray for good things for you all year, but I will remember to do something next year, with certainty!

You seem to be working harder than ever these last few months, although it may be that I am only just noticing that spring is a busy time for everyone. Everybody is doing their best, and I think it’s to get the season off to a good start for the year to come. The bright sunshine is just the thing to lift your spirits after winter, and the gardens are just coming into bloom; perhaps we can spend a day outside soon, I know being cooped up inside is good for productivity, but not for the heart.

                                                     Please take care of your health,

                                                                         - Qimei

[anunwaveringdevotion]

Dear mother,

I suppose I should open by asking after your comfort, but, I wonder if you're even there to read this. Are you still watching over me from the heavens, and is aunt with you? I visit her tomb often, and although it isn't your resting place, I hope that you also receive my prayers and offerings there. I'm sure that even if you weren't able to receive them directly, that aunt would share with you, so I hope that neither of you ever go hungry or want for anything.

I wish that we'd had more time together, to make memories... any at all. I hear almost every day how I look just like you, but I don't have any way to truly know; other than father's remorseful looks, that is. I know that he doesn't mean it, but I hate that my appearance makes him appear so melancholy. Are you mad at him still? It's been over a decade since he sentenced you, and I wonder if you aren't haunting that wooden statue he keeps. He never seems to sleep anymore, and I worry for him. He's the only family I have left, so please forgive him, mother, and help him to get some sleep.

Aunt told me that you were the one who named me, and so I try to honor it, but I wonder if I'm living up to a prediction. I am often complimented on my beauty, but I'm no less lonely for all of those people who seem so interested in me. 'Sad, yet beautiful'; did you know this would happen?

Please rest in peace, beloved mother; despite never knowing you, I keenly feel your absence and am always in want for your guiding hand, especially now as I begin my transition from a child to a young woman. There is so much that I don't know; so many things that you were supposed to teach me, and I fear having a daughter of my own someday because I won't know how to teach her any of the important things.

If that day ever comes, mother, please help me to teach my child the skills she'll need to grow up happy and safe.

I love you.

Your daugher, Princess Sun Qimei