The Mystery of National Pizza Day
According to a variety of news media outlets, February 9 was National Pizza Day. But why does National Pizza Day fall on February 9? Did American colonists, under cover of darkness, dump boatfuls of East India Company pizzas into Boston Harbor in 1773? Did the signing of the Pizza Treaty bring an end to the war in 1919? Did the son of an imaginary pizza die for our sins?
Pizza Drew is on the case! Many articles in the first three pages of Google search results link to this as their source, which openly admits “Within our research, we were unable to identify the creator of National Pizza Day.” Wikipedia’s “List of food days” has February 9 marked as “National Pizza Day (at least two slices)” and cites an article from The Economic Times (India), which gives National Pizza Day a hasty mention alongside other American food holidays (pretzel, potato chip, and hamburger) as if to say “Oh, silly Americans!” Holiday Insights also admits “Our research did not find the creator, or the origin of this day. This is typical of so many food related holidays. We did not find any documentation confirming this to be a ‘National’ day. We found no congressional records or presidential proclamation.” And the same is true of at least two related holidays: “National Cheese Pizza Day” and “National Pepperoni Pizza Day”.
Time finally says what I’m thinking: “... most of these National Whatever Days are totally fake.” And my approach to National Pizza Day becomes decidedly more Nihilistic, because not everything has a purpose.* So, in the spirit of Nihilist Arby’s, fuck it, life is pain, eat some pizza, and gawk at this picture of Beyoncé:
* On a tenuously related note, during the exploration of the Nihilistic stance on purpose, we stumbled across the American Nihilist Underground Society (A.N.U.S.)