I hate the fact that the only thing that excites me during my day is checking my mailbox for college acceptance letters.... which usually is just filled with junk mail from local businesses. I can't say that I'm upset at the junk mail though. I got into two schools already and waiting to hear back from about five more. Haven't seen any rejection letters... yet. Maybe it was my dumb brain making dumb decisions out of ego, but I applied to all expensive art schools. At the time I thought this was the right thing to do. I knew since I was in 2nd grade that I was going to be an artist and that was my correct path to head. (Yeah okay when I was fourth grade, I considered new reporting for ABC News. That was just a fantasy.) I thought I deserved a quality art education from an art school rather than learning art from a state university or whatever. Turns out that was some dumb thinking. Where exactly would $100,000 fall from the sky for me to attend these schools? Yeah people always say "there are scholarships and loans!" Tell me the last time when you heard of an art school alumni or network donating back to a school. Usually never happens. Why? Because the great reality is that artist don't make much. They live off on the beauty of their work for their "salary." Schools dab in couple thousands at me but that's virtually nothing when it's compared to 100k. I really do not want my parents to pay that much just for me when they have two more other kids to send to college. It just wouldn't be right. Not gonna lie, situation seemed kinda depressing at first. It sad to know that I worked so incredible hard during high school and money seems to be the problem. This is why all the college acceptance letters I received never made me happy or proud of myself in the long run. The college system sucks. Sucks so freakishly bad. After moping for such a long time, I decided that even though the money situation is terrible, it won't change. I just have to be better. College isn't everything. The education I would receive in an art school or actually any college in the world is indeed important to some degree, but it won't define the rest of my life. I see everything as challenge to become a better person, rather than seeing everything as problems hindering my future. My art or my identity doesn't define me based on the college I attend. I'm made to create art. This does not mean mandatory 100k education. So let the college letters that screams "Yes we want you. Now give us $100,000 that you or your parents don't have" and "Sorry kid, you're not qualified enough. Thanks for the $80 application fee though!" come to my door. I'm not shaken by it anymore.
