The absence of carnal desires, not of love
Summary: When Aemond and (Y/n) are told that they should get married, a world collapses for both of them. Only time reveals that the two have a lot in common... Even if it's just the absence of carnal desires. (ace!Aemond x ace!reader)
Word count: 7.792
Authors note: I thought why not leave something for my fellow aces here? Ace!Aemond and ace!Reader. There is a description of the (not so happy) wedding night, so if you feel uncomfortable with reading about that, feel free to scip that part. The scene starts and ends with this little guy here: 🐲. The scene, where Aegon finds Aemond in the brothel is marked with this one:🐉 Apart from that: enjoy.
"You want me to marry one of those bastards?", Aemond blurted out. His mother stood before him with sympathetic eyes. "Your father has decided it. You're marrying Rhaenyra's daughter." Aemond's jaw ground. "I'm marrying a Strong. We both know it, and so would Father, if he weren't so blind." "Aemond...",she sighed, "You have a duty to fulfil to stabilise what little peace there is at the moment." She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I know you'd rather be married to Helaena, but I've tried everything. He won't be swayed." Aemond's heart raced with anger. He breathed in and out in a controlled manner. He pressed his lips together, letting his anger travel into his heart to freeze it.
"Aemond?", asked (Y/n) in shock? Her mum nodded. "I know it's not ideal, but-" "Not ideal? He hates us!" Rhaenyra sighed. Daemon sat back in his chair, not exactly thrilled. "She's not wrong." "We have our duty to fulfil. A wedding is the best way, to avert a lot of future disaster." (Y/n) sat down next to her stepfather and looked at the tabletop. Resignedly, she exhaled. "What if he refuses?" "My brother himself has decided. He can't refus.", Daemon explained calmly. She buried her face in her hands. Daemon slapped her shoulder encouragingly. "It could be worse." "How could it be worse, please?" He shrugged. "It could have been Aegon... Aemond was the one with the eye patch, wasn't he?" Rhaenyra sighed. "Yes. Aemond wears the eye patch." "Which is another reason to hate us.", (Y/n) explained, flustered. Daemon nodded. "Better to be a prude than a drunk. Trust me." Rhaenyra rolled her eyes. "The gods be with us."
Rhaenyra stat next to her old friend. "How did she take it?", enquired Alicent. "The way you take such news... Quite defiantly.", replied Rhaenyra. "Then she seems to be taking after her mother.", muttered Alicent. Rhaenyra didn't respond, but had to admit that she wasn't entirely wrong. "And Aemond?" Alicent pressed his lips together. "He's not happy... But he's dutiful enough." She nodded. "I'm sorry about what happened then." "I'd like to say he's gotten over it, but I don't think, that will ever happen." They both looked at the candles in front of them. The sept was empty. "When is she coming here?", asked Alicent. Rhaenyra smirked. "As soon as Daemon can squeeze her into a dress that hasn't already lost all its colour. He thought he could convince her better than I could." Alicent gave her head a thoughtful twitch. "Aemond doesn't usually try to stand out. He's not much good with splendour anyway." "Not the worst trait to have." "It is."
"A picture for the gods.", Viserys smiled at his son and granddaughter. Both stood stiffly next to each other. As much distance as the situation allowed between them. "Grandfather.", (Y/n) curtseyed slightly. Viserys smiled at Rhaenyra. "More exemplary than you ever were." She smirked. "Give her two days." Viserys looked at the future couple again. Daemon stood beside him, watching the silent spectacle with amusement. Both seemed to want to jump out of the window. Especially (Y/n), who detested the stiffness of her dress, glared at him with eyes filled with rage. "We're having a party!", announced Viserys. "To the engagement." Aemond showed no emotion. (Y/n) has the feeling of standing next to a stature. "A celebration is good. It gets the blood pumping. Just what those two sculptures need", Daemon grinned. Three very angry eyes fixed on him.
The sun shone relentlessly down on them as they walked through the gardens, urged on by the family, to get to know each other better. But neither of them said anything. He killed her with looks. She stubbornly looked straight ahead. "You're not fooling anyone.", he hissed quitely. "Everyone knows what you are." She felt the familiar rage inside her, but tried to control it. "You know... You're no more Targaryen than I am." she said with the intention to hurt. "How much fire runs through your mother's veins?", she hissed. "Your blood is just as washed out as mine. Your hair won't change that." Aemond made a hasty grab for her throat. Such were the waves of rage coursing through his veins. "Don't you dare compare us again, you bastard.", he hissed before he was torn away by Daemon. He said nothing. He merely raised an eyebrow and wordlessly put his nephew back on track. He brought Aemond back next to them, but barely kept his distance. "On with you two.", he said, nudging them both.
Rhaenyra and Alicent watched the spectacle with worried eyes. "Well that's a good start.", sighed Rhaenyra. Alicent closed his eyes in surrender. "All we can do is pray." "Or bring the two of them closer somehow." "And how do you envisage that?" Rhaenyra sighed. "They must have something in common." Alicent sighed as well. "Aemond is studying, practising fighting or flying out with his dragon. I don't want to know what happens, when Aegon does manage to drag him out of his chamber." Rhaenyra nodded. "Sending them off with the dragon is probably not the best idea with that temperament." "Not if you want them both to come back alive." "Maybe prayer is truly the only thing that will help."
She sat to his right to make sure he could see her without any problems. The meal was good. Memories were shared. Aegon teased Jacaerys. Helaene talked about a spider, that had made it into her collection and Rhaenyra and Alicent practised approximate conversation. Alicent cleared his throat. "Your mother says you speak High Valyrian." (Y/n) nodded. Grateful to be snatched from her silent bubble with Aemond. "I suppose it's passable." "No false modesty. She's almost better than me.", Daemon interjected. The word almost carried the most weight. "Ivestragī īlva ūndegon skorkydoso bōsa ao kostagon nykeēdrosa vestragon bona." (Let us see how long you can still say that.), she said with a teasing grin on her face. "īlon jāhor ūndegon byka zaldrīzes." (We will see little dragon.) Aemond just snorted. That he really called her dragon. "What about you?" Daemon turned to his nephew. "Nyke ȳzaldrīzes ziry olvie sȳrī nyke pendagon." (I speak it very well, I think.) All eyes were on them again. "Your pronunciation is sloppy.", was all she said. "And yours is far too stilted.", he replied grimly. They both took a sip of wine, so as not to have to continue the conversation. Silence returned immediately. Daemon raised his wine goblet. "To my brother. Your marriage market skills are unrivalled." "Daemon.", Rhaenyra warned him calmly. "Even you have to admit that an heir with these two must have to happen by magic. Don't worry about it, youngster. I never touched my first wife either. But do the world a favour and oil your sword more often. It's almost impossible to accumulate as much pressure as you do." The glass in Aemond's hand broke so forcefully that shards ate into his skin. His fist did not open, however. His blood dripped onto the tabletop unflustered. Despite this, Aemond's gaze was blank. Withdrawn into himself, he sat there. Aegon laughed, already half drunk, but the others just looked at Aemond. Except for (Y/n). She stood up, curtsying to her grandfather. "I'd like to say goodbye. The day has been quite eventfull." "Of course, child. But you owe me a trip tobthe dragonpit in the morning in return." She nodded politely and left the room quickly and stiffly. Heirs with that pompous brat. She couldn't imagine letting someone like him get that close to her. When she thought about it, she couldn't imagine enjoying that kind of touch with any man. Not a man who actually existed in any case.
Aemond, meanwhile, was still sitting at the table, looking stubbornly at the table in front of him. He put on his mask and tried to ignore the screams of rage in his head. Tried not to feel the humiliation. Especially in front of his brother. The one who made him do it the first time. Brought him to her. "Can I say goodbye as well, father?", asked Aemond. "But you owe me a trip to the dragonpit in the morning for that.", he replied again. Aemond nodded and tried to ignore the fact that his next meeting with her was already fixed.
Later, he lay in her arms, his hand wrapped in a bandage, his mouth sucking on her breast and letting his head be stroked soothingly. What kind of husband would he be? He had no desire for the normal needs. If he did, it was for purely physical reasons. He only needed one heir. Just one. Then they wouldn't have to see each other anymore. "Shhh.", she purred, brushing a tear from his cheek.
"You cheated!", Aemond was furious. (Y/n) just smiled. "I used the size of my dragon. How can I help it, if Vagahr can't fit through the lip?" Aemond rolled his eyes. "It's marvellous weather. Don't you think?" Viserys interjected. "Yes, father.", Aemond nodded. "A very beautiful sunrise.", (Y/n) replied. "Aemond usually goes training in the morning. Why don't you watch?" Aemond's eye twinkled in amusement. (Y/n) rolled her eyes. "I was hoping to take a look at the library." "You'll have plenty of time for that, once you're living here. You should spend as much time together as possible together for now." (Y/n) sulked, annoyed. "Fine." "Ah." Viserys laughed. "Now I finally see your mother in you."
On the training ground, (Y/n) leaned bored against the railing and looked down at Aemond, who was fighting with Ser Kriston. He was skilful, she had to admit. Elegantly and skilfully, he dodged and attacked. "Niece!", she heard and turned round in surprise at the shouting. As soon as she saw Aegon coming towards her, she heard a stifled cry from the square. Aemond was holding his upper arm with an annoyed look on his face. Ser Kriston held a sword under his throat. "You must not be distracted." Aemond looked angrily at his brother, then got back into position. "Who made you do this boring observation?", her uncle grinned at her. "The king", she replied simply. Aegon was still grinning. "How about I kidnap you tonight?" She raised an eyebrow. "You want to infiltrate this marriage before it even started?" Aegon laughed. "No, no, no. We'll sneak outside. You should know the town you're about to make your home in." She listened up. "And what do you have in mind?" "There's a squire who will... let's say..." "Oil his sword?" Aegon grinned enthusiastically. "Exactly. So there will be guards. No worries. One less evening in his presence, isn't it?" "Very true." "Then be ready."
Aegon dragged the overwhelmed boy through the brothel and (Y/n) reconsidered all the decisions in her life. Especially the one to just follow Aegon.
🐉
"Did I tell you I came here as a lad? It’s a little tame, but a good place as any to get it wet. I know just the tutor for you, my boy." He simply ripped open one of the curtains and exposed the people inside. Aegon grimaced and quickly turned away again. "No. She’s woth three timest he price… Don't worry niece, one only does that to whores, not wives." He walked to the next curtain. "No." And to the next "No here neither. Her name is Sylvi or Selyse, or... I don’t know, something like that." He tore open the last curtain. A slightly older lady was lying on the silk-covered bed and holding a man. He turned round in surprise. Aemond? Aegon began to laugh hysterically. Aemond immediately sat up, knowing the rest of the pack was at his back. The scene didn't seem like the others. It didn't seem harsh or crude or animalistic. It seemed... calm. "Aemond the fierce!", Aegon exclaimed, still laughing. None of the others let an emotion flit across their faces. "You've come so far and yet you still lie with your very first. What a fine, sweet thing." Aegon settled down on the edge of the bed. "Did you fuck her like a hound?" He barked loudly. The lady on the bed, who had now put on a robe, winced slightly. "You see. I did not exaggerate. Such is the madam’s prowess, that even my brother will not sample another. Hard luck for your squire, though. As you can see, she… she’s now very much occipied." He looked at (Y/n). "Perhaps you can be shown how to please your husband in the future, (Y/n)." Aemond's eyes shot to her. Disbelief settled on his face. "You brought her here?", Aemond hissed at his brother. Aegon only continued to laugh.
🐉
Aemond stood up, naked as he was, and left the niche. "Your squire is welcome to her." With that, he grabbed his niece's arm, pulled his clothes to him and dragged her behind him. She was still processing the sight of his naked body when he pushed her into one of the free niches closer to the entrance. He closed the curtains and began to dress frantically. "What are you doing here?" "What are you doing here?", she simply repeated. He breathed in and out deeply. "I have every right to be here. You, on the other hand, have come to a fucking whorehouse completely defenceless! What if someone sees you? What if someone does something to you? Rape you? Kill you?", he reproached her as if she were a small child. She looked past him defiantly. "There were guards with us." She pouted slightly. "Apart from that, you'd be rid of me. That's what you want." Aemond snorted in annoyance. "Now don't be so dramatic" He pulled his cloak over himself, covering his hair. "Now come on." She didn't react immediately. Still sorting through the images of the evening. "(Y/n) come now!" "You didn't sleep with her.", she realised. Aemond faltered. "What?" She was in a daze. "Well... It didn't seem like the other nooks and crannies... Why did you come here when you didn't-" Aemond simply threw her over his shoulder. "Come now!", he said emphatically and dragged her out of the brothel. On the street, he set her back on her feet and pushed her in front of him. "Obey and I'll answer some of your questions." She allowed herself to be pushed towards the red keep. "Good."
The next morning, they both sat at the table with the rest of the family for their morning meal. Aegon was still hunched over his plate, but laughed with amusement every time he looked at his brother. That one tried to ignore him, but couldn't really suppress the nausea, that had taken hold of him. How much had he seen? How much had he recognised? How much would he humiliate him knowing that he had sucked on her breast like a newborn? "What are you up to today?", asked Rhaenyra (Y/n). She was just swallowing her bite when Aemond answered for her. "I promised to show her round... To answer a few questions." All eyes shot to him. The silence was stifling for the next three seconds before Aegon let out a loud snort. "Don't get too explicit. You'll scare her away." Aemond said nothing, just continued eating the egg and ham in front of him.
Later, they walked quite randomly through the corridors. "I decide which questions I answer.", he stated first to break the silence. She nodded. "Good, so did you sleep with her?" "No." "Then why are you going to her?" "To relax." She faltered. "Why? Isn't your bed comfortable enough?" Aemond wanted to erase the memory from her mind. It was too intimate. Too secret... His biggest secret. "Comfortable... and sometimes... A little lonely.", he pressed out, as if it would cause him pain to admit it. (Y/n) drew her eyebrows together in surprise. "I didn't think, you were someone who would be bothered by that." "I only seek her out occasionally... In stressful times." She nodded acceptingly. "How wrong one can be... But... I mean you go halfway across town, just so you don't sleep alone? She must be... well doing something." Aemond faltered. Yes, she was doing something. Held him. Mothered him since his mother had stopped. "She... She listens to me." (Y/n) furrowed her eyebrows again in irritation. She remembered the brief image of the disturbed meeting. How he had lain there. How she had held him. His face against her chest. "It almost looked like you-" He quickly pressed his hand over her mouth. She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Don't say it.", he interrupted her with a firmness in his voice. Then he quickly turned away and walked down the corridor. "The library is this way. You wanted to see it.
(Y/n) wandered along the rows of books, but didn't see a single one. Too absorbed in the questions, her mind was asking her. Aemond was cold, arrogant and mean. Aemond would not lie down with a woman to suckle her breast. Aemond would... He would humiliate and hurt a woman... Wouldn't he? Aemond Targaryen... A warrior, or a little boy, who had been played too many tricks? She remembered the day, her brothers presented him with the pig. She remembered, how he had run past her and to his mother with tears in his eyes. The way Aegon had humiliated him, seemed to have determined his whole life. Siblings fought, but Aegon had always enjoyed taunting others. It made no sense. This image and the Aemond she knew. The image of discipline and ambition. She sighed and leaned against the shelf. (Y/n) strangely felt no desire, to judge him for it. He went there ‘to relax’. He found peace in it. Perhaps even a safe place. She brushed a strand of brown hair from her forehead. She pushed herself off the shelf and wandered through the rows to find Aemond. She found him at one of the tables, bent over a book, that he didn't really seem to be reading. She sat down next to him, on the side of his good eye. "I don't judge it.", she merely whispered. Aemond looked at her as if he was just waiting for the mockery. "I don't really understand it, but...", she pressed her lips together, thinking. "There are far worse things you could do." Aemond snorted dismissively. "There are also far less humiliating things.", He flipped the book shut. "If you lose even a stray word-" "What would I do that for?" He looked at her. "Aemond, I'll be honest.", she began. He signalled to her that he was listening. "We can't avoid this marriage, so we should get along somehow. All we need is a male heir. Maybe just one child, if that's enough for you. After that, you're free to do what you want, as long as I have my peace." "And you'll keep your mouth shut?" She nodded. He nodded. "How long have you known her?", she asked. Aemond looked at the book. "Since I was thirteen. Aegon paid for it. My first. As you've heard. I didn't want to... We both couldn't stop it." He looked at her thoughtfully. "How is it that you're so open about this?" She shrugged her shoulders. "My mother wanted me to know what to expect. Besides, Daemon never made a hel about the daughters being in the room, when he told my brothers about his youth." Aemond nodded with a sigh. "One child is enough." "Good." "Good."
"What's wrong with you?", (Y/n) asked, bored, when she had been joined by Aemond in one of the rooms to make conversation. "What do you mean?", he returned tensely. (Y/n) just raised an eyebrow. "You look like Vagahr chewed you up once and spat you out again. And if you sit there any stiffer, your back will break." Aemond's jaw ground. "Stress", he simply replied and turned back to his studies. "Why don't you go and see her?" Aemond's gaze shot to her. She just shrugged her shoulders. "It relaxes you. You're definitely not relaxed. It's an easy solution." "No. Not an easy solution. Aegon will be back. This place isn't safe anymore." He tried to ignore the twinge in his chest. He felt like a child having his favourite toy snatched from him, only to watch it burn in front of him. Aegon had seen him. He didn't know, what conclusions his clouded mind had drawn. It kept him awake all night and the only thing, that would help him find peace, was now destroyed forever. He slammed the book shut and was about to get up, but got stuck in the intention and sat back down on the chair. "Aemond?" He took a deep breath. "I don't know how much Aegon has seen. I don't know what stories he's spreading. I can't sleep. I've built up a reputation over the years only to be caught by my drunken brother at the only moment I allowed myself to..." He broke off. "In which you allowed yourself to be... weak?", she asked hesitantly. Aware of the delicate subject. Aemond snorted. His brother had always just fallen to the top. Aemond had to work hard for everything. And now this fool probably knew everything, to ruin him.
"Aegon.", (Y/n) said politely and stood next to him. The garden was beautiful and in full bloom. Aegon, on the other hand, seemed to be avoiding the spirit of life today. He sat leaning against a tree in the garden and gazed glassily into nothingness. "Niece.", he mumbled, making a choking noise for a moment, then collected himself. She put on her most innocent face. The fact that he was probably still drunk enough, not to remember this conversation in its entirety, was definitely an advantage. "How long have you been travelling?" Aegon narrowed his eyes. "Until... Now. I haven't made it to bed yet." "Want some help?" Aegon immediately threw his weight onto one of her shoulders and staggered off. "Can I ask you something?" Aegon just grumbled. "If you have to." She smiled. "The night you took me with you." Aegon grinned stupidly. "I told you not to worry. That's what you do with whores, not wives." She banished the image that flashed in her mind. "Yes, that's what you said... I'm more worried, that your brother might expect more, well... Than I can give." Aegon grinned wider. "Why? Because he was lying with a whore. Always the same one. I don't think you need to worry... He truly is a loyal dog." He laughed. "She seemed... more experienced." "You'd expect that with her expertise and age." (Y/n) tried further. "Sure there was nothing... Strange going on in that nook, I mean?" Aegon laughed again, but then gulped slightly and immediately refrained. "Oh little niece. He was fucking. You can do that too. I just think it's a shame, they were already done. I'd love to see my brother fully human for once. He's such a prude. Well, never mind. Wait a minute.", He leaned to one side, bored, and threw up. Half of it landed on his trousers. "Okay. Go on." (Y/n) grimaced. Daemon had been right. It could have been worse.
She slammed the book down on the table in his study and sat down. "He doesn't know anything.", she said simply. "And you owe me a new dress." Aemond looked up in confusion. "Aegon", she explained, "I found him drunk in the garden this morning. He thinks you fucked a whore and nothing else. So relax and get some sleep. With your dark circles, you'll lose the other eye too." Aemond looked at her, perplexed. "You questioned him?" "I danced around the subject, but your brother tends to have conversations like that with his head through the wall." "What did you ask?", he asked immediately, unsettled. Anger resonated in his voice. "Whether I should be worried that you might have special wishes for me when you value her experience." Aemond leant back in his chair. He exhaled in surrender. "And he knows nothing?" (Y/n) shook his head. "Nothing special, it seems." "That's good.", he stated simply. (Y/n) nodded. "It is." She flipped open her book. "I wasn't joking about the dress, by the way." He let his eye wander over her. "I'm sorry.", he muttered. "Tell that to the maids. It took me three tubs before I felt clean again." "What exactly happened?" "He threw up in the wrong direction." Aemond pressed his lips together and looked at his book again. His stomach felt strangely light at the thought that she had gone through this ordeal for him. He couldn't really place it, but decided it made him too vulnerable and pushed it aside.
"(Y/n) sit down.", said her mum, pointing to the chair next to her. She complied with the request. "What is it?" Rhaenyra smiled gently at her. "So the wedding is coming up.", she began. "Yes... I know." She nodded again. "Good, you remember the conversations we had, regarding the wedding night?" "In great detail." "But if you still have questions-" "Don't worry.", she interrupted her immediately. Rhaenyra seemed to be struggling for words. Something that never actually happened. "Aegon came to me.", she said bluntly. "Aegon?... Argh." She let her back slam against the back of the chair. "Believe me, there were other reasons, why I went to see him." "And what reasons would those be? Did you notice something, when you snuck out that made you feel insecure?", she smirked. "He told you?" Rhaenyra smiled. "Told me. Shouted it at me with laughter. Take your pick." "I'm going to scalp him." Rhaenyra laughed in amusement. "At least everyone knows now that you are truly my daughter." "You giving birth to me wasn't proof enough?"
Aemond came to her table in the library. She looked at him for a moment with a tense mouth. "You look more rested." "One less burden.", he explained simply. She nodded and looked back down at her book. "What's wrong?", he simply asked. "My mother has called me in, because your brother is now worried about my knowledge of the marriage bed., She looked at him venomously. "You owe me far more than a bloody dress." He just nodded and looked back down at his book. He did owe her something.
The dress hung heavily on her. The embroidery and embellishments in red and black stretched across the fabric. Her hair was plaited and pinned up. Necklaces and bracelets were put on her. She allowed herself to be led to the throne room and placed before the king, where Aemond was already standing, dressed in black as usual. His clothes were also more ornate than usual. They took their hands. It was only then that (Y/n) realised that they had never really touched before, apart from the day in the brothel, when he had dragged her with him. They recited their vows. They were celebrated. They danced and drank. And neither of them really knew, what to make of it. (Y/n) because she still wasn't really sure, what to expect from this marriage and Aemond, because he just couldn't shake this strange feeling in his stomach. It was only when they were pushed into his room, that (Y/n) really realised what was about to happen. She felt involuntarily tense. She looked at him uncertainly. However, he went into his room. "I'm paying my debts today.", he said simply. Her brows drew together. :Aemond, I was jesting." But he only reached into a true and pulled out a dress and laid it across the bed. She walked towards it. "Green?" He twitched his eyebrow. "You just said a dress. Nothing else." She smirked devotedly. "All right... It's still pretty." Aemond reached for a small tin on the table next to the bed. "And the other... Gift, if you will." She took the tin and opened it hesitantly. Irritated, she looked inside, then at Aemond. "A fish bladder filled with blood. I'll stage the bed and drain the bladder. You can choose, when you come to me. Or we can do our duty. I'll give you the choice." She looked at the little ball. "You'd really give it up?" He nodded. "It's more duty than anything else.", he confessed. She allowed herself to be surprised, that anyone else felt that way als well. She closed the tin. "What would your plan be... For an heir?" "I'll come round once a week." She nodded and placed the tin on the bed. "Then we shouldn't put it off too long." She reached for the cloak on her shoulders and put it down. As she reached for the lacing at her back, she realised, that her hands were shaking slightly. Aemond removed his jacket and shirt. He was slim but muscular. He had a certain attractiveness. But a hard one. An unyielding one. She had seen him like this before, she reminded herself consciously. She let her dress slide off her and now stood before him in just her undergarment. Aemond simply brushed off his trousers and stood in front of her like in the brothel. His posture said that he didn't mind being seen like this. But his eye betrayed him. "Aren't you going to take the patch off?" Aemond's stature crumbled slightly. "Most people don't like the sight of it." "Only if you want to. You don't have to." He nodded, tidied away the can and dress, then motioned for her to lie down. She adjusted the pillows at her back, when she saw him reach for his eye patch. With a practised grip, he undid the laces and put the piece aside. He turned towards her. She scrutinised him closely. A sapphire shone in the eye socket. She had also seen this in the brothel, but she had been distracted by his nakedness then. "A beautiful stone.", was all she said. Aemond merely sat down on the bed. Relief rippled through his muscles. That it didn't disgust her seemed to mean more to him than he had realised.
🐲
(Y/n) took a deep breath as he lay on top of her. He reached for a small vial and oiled his hand. "What are you doing?" "It makes the whole thing easier. It'll probably still hurt, though." She nodded. "I know." He grabbed himself with his oily hand. Quickly and purposefully, he ran his hand over himself. He didn't look at her. Looked stubbornly at her shoulder. His ears were red. His gaze revealed, how uncomfortable he was. All observations fizzled out of her mind as he pushed her legs further apart and pushed her underdress high enough to expose her most intimate part. He pressed himself against her. She felt him. "Can I?" he asked tensely. She nodded. "Yes." He pushed himself into her. It was literally burning. She felt like she was going to tear up, but she blinked away the tears. Everyone had told her it hurt at first. She gripped the pillow beneath her for support and breathed in and out in a controlled manner until he had sunk himself completely into her. Aemond held still for a moment and waited. "Say when I can mive.", he pressed out. She wiped the tears from her face as unobtrusively as possible and tried to force her body to relax. Aemond's hand slipped between them. His thumb placed itself on her and drew circles. She exhaled in surprise. "Better?", he asked. "A little." He nodded and thrust lightly. It was a surreal experience for both of them. Aemond was uncomfortable with the closeness and yet he felt the strange feeling in his stomach again, when he was able to take away some of her pain. He should start like this next time. He sounded an idiot. He should have thought of that earlier. (Y/n) was torn between pain and the pleasant feeling that Aemond gave her with his thumb. Aemond tried to keep it as short as possible. As soon as he felt the sensation, he let himself fall over the cliff and jerked haphazardly above her. He carefully, but quickly extracted himself and brought himself back next to her.
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(Y/n) was quite glad, that it was over. She merely closed her eyes. "I'm sorry.", Aemond whispered. (Y/n) shook his head. "It had to be." She hoped her suppressed tears didn't show completely. Aemond felt as if his chest was being pierced. He saw himself when he was thirteen. How he had tried with all his might not to let the tears fall. How he hadn't wanted to be touched for weeks afterwards. And now he was doing the same to her. She took a deep breath in and out and then reached for the cloak next to the bed. Aemond understood, got dressed again and opened the door for the maid, who was waiting in front of it with her eyes downcast. The small figure went into the room, pulled the bedding down and up again and disappeared. The proof of the marriage in her hand. Aemond looked at (Y/n). "You can stay here if you want." She considered. "I don't really know, what I want." Aemond put himself to bed. He lifted the covers slightly. "You can leave any time you like." (Y/n) nodded, but first looked to the bowl of water the maid had provided. Aemond nodded understandingly and turned his back to her.
The night was restless for both of them. Aemond was woken by one nightmare after another. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw that night before him. (Y/n) just wanted to take a bath and not feel like she did now. She waited forever, before the burning between her legs stopped and she finally fell asleep. She didn't dream.
In the morning they both stood tired in front of their family. (Y/n) said goodbye to her mother, who was flying to Dragonstone, and suppressed the feeling of loneliness, she was experiencing. She would stay here now. Her family would leave. Her mum, her brothers. Even Daemon she would miss somehow. Aegon grinned stupidly at the sight of the tired figures and teased them. (Y/n), who was already at the edge of her strength, simply tripped him and watched him fall into one of the rose beds. The corners of Aemond's mouth twitched slightly. He left for training and (Y/n) just stood in her chambers for quite some time, until she decided to go back to sleep. And she carried out this decision for three days in a row. Aemond did not notice her absence. Apart from the maids, no one was looking for her. So she really did have all the freedom she wanted. Even to simply cease to exist. It wasn't until the fifth day, that there was a knock at her door. To her surprise, Alicent stepped through the door. (Y/n) rose quickly and bowed. "What happened between you and Aemond?", she asked bluntly. (Y/n) faltered. "I don't understand?" Alicent sighed. "I understand that... It's been five days and no one can testify, that you've seen each other again. What happened?" (Y/n) looked at her hands in irritation. "Only what was expected of us." "An heir is expected and one doesn't just show up like that." "Aemond... has a plan", she muttered. Alicent scratched her thumb along her finger. "I know it's not the best experience in the world, but it gets better. You'll get used to it." "That's good to know." Alicent nodded. "This marriage has to work. For the safety of us all." "I'm aware of that." "Then try harder.", she concluded and left the room.
On the seventh day after the wedding, Aemond went to see her. He had stayed away from her the whole time. He could feel the monster inside him moving too much. As if it had been stabbed with a spear. Normally a very proud creature, it now seemed unable to reconcile, what it had experienced with itself. He had been thinking about it. All this time, he had been thinking about how he could make it easier. But now that he was standing in front of her, it all seemed somehow laughable. He had hurt her. He had hurt his wife. He was no better than Aegon.
(Y/n) saw Aemond for the first time in a week. He looked tired. Agitated. Silently, he sat on the bed, but did nothing else. (Y/n) let him take the time to compose himself. "I don't want to hurt you any more.", he confessed. She looked down at her lap. Only now did she realise, how tense her body had been since he had entered the room. She smiled slightly, but her eyes didn't really join in. "I was told it would get better. With time." Aemond nodded. "I can't yet.", he said despite himself. "And what are we going to do now?" "How about a flight?"
"That little lizard is far too sneaky.", Aemond complained. "This little lizard is the fastest dragon in the Seven Kingdoms.", grinned (Y/n). Aemond looked at her dragon. One of Syrrax's boys. Vilar. Aemond stayed with 'little lizard'. Just big enough to carry (Y/n), but unfortunately really the nimblest creature he had ever seen. "That felt good.", she confessed. Aemond nodded. "Nothing better to clear your head." He stroked Vagahr's neck lightly. (Y/n) looked up at the stars. How unimportant they all were. Even a creature like Vagahr. Who could care about a white haired child more or less? She sighed. "Long week?", asked Aemond. She shrugged her shoulders. "I slept through most of it", she admitted. Aemond stood next to her and looked at the moon. "I didn't sleep a wink for that." They spent half the night together in silence.
"It's been four months, Aemond!", his mother made him understand. "I know.", he just said. "Aemond, this is important!" Aemond didn't move. "I'm aware of that." "Then go, find her and do something!" He stood in front of her and looked at her. "I do what I can. But I have other obligations than just having sexual intercourse with my wife." Alicent rolled his eyes. "What your brother has too much of, you lack entirely. The gods are punishing me." Aemond's chest hardened. Wrong again. Not right. Broken. A disappointment. "Is that all?", he asked. Alicent waved him away. He went straight to (y/n). In her room, he found her embroidering something. A rare picture. "You're embroidering?", he asked, irritated. She threw the fabric on the table. "To call it that would be blasphemous. Helaena has this new beetle she likes and I wanted to embroider it on a cushion for her, but it looks more like a crushed beetle." She looked at him. "What is it?" "My mother.", he explained and sat down next to her. He picked up a goblet of wine and took a sip. (Y/n) looked regretfully at the table. "So she came to you, too." He just nodded. She reached for her embroidery again, looked at it begrudgingly and put it away. "Can you bring me some books from the library?", she asked him. He raised an eyebrow. "And the fine lady isn't going herself because?" She pursed her lips in annoyance. "Because your mother told the maesters to keep me here, until I finally have an heir under my heart. They say I'm too stressed and dragon riding... What did they call it?... Dragon riding is withering my womb." Aegon furrowed his eyebrows in irritation. "I couldn't say we aren't doing anything to change that. That would probably only make her more nervous." She stroked the rim of her wine goblet. Maybe they should just get it over with. "We're flying out. Right now." Aemond suddenly decided and stood up. (Y/n) looked at him in astonishment. "Are you sure?" "Very sure.", Aemond said. He folded his arms behind his back, as he so often did. "We are married... The marriage is consummated... No one can dissolve it. How we conduct it is now up to us." He seemed to be thinking out loud more, than actually talking to (Y/n). His head was spinning. "We'll just spend every night in the marriage chambers from now on." He looked directly at her. "If they think we're trying long enough, eventually the question will come up, that it just won't work. Then they'll leave us alone.", he explained. (Y/n) looked at him closely. That fate put together the two of them of all people. When Aemond noticed her gaze, he faltered. "What?" She shook her head. "That's a good plan.", she admitted simply. Aemond nodded. "Come on, then. Vilar will already be restless."
Rhaenyra and Alicent walked through the garden, letting the warm summer air brush against their skin. "I'm thinking of having Aegon organise Daeron's name day feast.", Raehnyra said. Alicent's eyebrows drew together. "Why that?" "Maybe it'll teach him to take responsibility. After all... this is his expertise... And passion." Alicent rolled his eyes. "If you want to bankrupt the realm so soon after your coronation." Rhaenyra smiled. "Don't worry. He'll get a fixed budget." They walked on in silence. "Aemond and (Y/n) seem to have... well, they really have grown closer." Alicent sighed. "Yes, and yet... Over a year of marriage Rhaenyra. And nothing." She ran her fingers over a flower as she walked past.
"They avoided each other at first. I would have understood then, but now they spend every night together. By the gods, they've become almost inseparable. They study together, fly out and she watches him train." "Maybe it's just not meant to be", Rhaenyra pondered. "But if their bond is so strong... What more could we want for them?" "Heirs.", Alicent replied simply. Rhaenyra could only laugh at her friend's dry delivery. Even Alicent joined in. "Rhaena and Gwayne seem to be in contact at the moment.", Rhaenyra grinned. Alicant raised her eyebrows in surprise.
They both looked intently at the pitch. Cyvasse had become both of their favourite pastime over the last few months. There was something teasing and playful about it. She often caught Aemond grinning during the game. As if for the first time he was a child, who had finally found someone to play with. Their relationship had become more intimate. By now, they both appreciated the bond that had been formed. They could spend whole evenings in silence. Each engrossed in their own book. They could amuse themselves with games. (Y/n) had suggested it. She had played a lot with her brothers until they decided, they were too old for it. Aemond had also been sceptical at first, but now he himself was often the first to move the pieces around the board. It was a strange marriage. It didn't have the physical passion that was required of them. They only exchanged light caresses. Aemond's everyday life was characterised by stress. Stress that he mostly caused himself. Since he no longer attended the silk street, he lacked a fundamental counterbalance to that very stress. He had become increasingly tense. One day (Y/n) had simply started stroking his hair. He had watched her at first, like a hawk, but then he had melted like butter on hot meat. She often held him. Sometimes he buried himself against her breasts. They talked. Hidden in their little save world. They even kissed. Chaste and yet loving. Their marriage worked. It was healthy. It was... happy. The court had stopped asking questions about an heir. Meagor himself hadn't been able to have a child. The world assumed it was the same with them.
Aemond's hand settled on a figurine. He playfully shifted an elephant. (Y/n) took in the new image. "Not bad.", she murmured with a grin. Aemond looked smugly at the board. "Not bad for real." She reached for her dragon and let it eat the elephant. "Not bad for me.", she teased. Aemond pursed his lips. "Touche." "Aegon is to organise Daeron's name day celebration", (Y/n) told him. Aemond looked at her with appraising disbelief. "Your mother wants to bankrupt the realm so quickly?" She smirked. "He's on a fixed budget." Aemond shook his head with a grin. "Well, if she thinks that will stop him." He reshaped his stones. "Has my mother visited you lately?" She shook her head. "The last visit was... Three months ago, I'd say." Aemond nodded in satisfaction. "Do you really think they will leave us alone now?" "I hope so.", she sipped her wine. She struggled to find the next words. "Do you think we're broken?" Aemond didn't show any surprise. He let the question sink in. "Even if we were, we've found each other... Haven't we?" He looked into her violet eyes. She smiled slightly. But quickly became serious again. "And... You really don't want it? You're not giving it up just because of me?" He shook his head. "I just don't like it.", he realised. His fingers ran delicately over the dragon figure carved from onyx in front of him. "And you?" She paused. "I never had a desire for it... I think I could have got used to it... But I don't want it if I don't have to." He nodded. "How fate can play into your hands like that." She laughed lightly. "Hm. A year ago, you were at my throat." He smirked slightly. "Don't pretend, you didn't want to do the same to me." She allowed herself to smirk, then looked down at his hands, still caressing the little dragon. "Have you ever been with her again?", she asked. He immediately shook his head. "I sent her a generous settlement two months after our wedding and a letter, letting her know that I no longer require her services." He looked at his wife's calm face. "Why do you ask? Jealousy?", he smirked teasingly. She smiled sheepishly. "I want to know what would keep you here." "What do you mean?" She shrugged her shoulders. "We're not going to have an heir. Good. But... There would be plenty of dragonlings to care for on Dragonstone. We could go there. Jacaerys will soon succeed to the throne and be trained. Dragonstone would be free." She grinned. "And we both know that Aegon will do everything he can to avoid having to leave the red keep. So he's hardly an option as a Dragonstone heir." "His disappearance would drive three whorehouses into bankruptcy and cause the economy to go awry." She laughed. He smiled as well. They looked at each other. "So? Dragonstone?", she asked. He nodded. "Dragonstone."