So recently I came out as ace to my friends
My friends in the Dungeons and Dragons group that my partner runs, anyway.
I'm playing an asexual bard, because I love flipping archetypes. Last campaign I was a pacifist barbarian. It was great! But I was doing research to play said ace Bard, and it led me to asking questions about myself that I was pretty sure I knew the answer to, but was afraid to truly acknowledge until now.
So I come out to them, and my dragonborn paladin player was like ".....so what's ace?"
And my dwarven warlock, who my ace bard halfling has a crush on, responded "Oh, asexual. They don't feel sexual attraction to people."
To which my half-elf monk replies "Well, maybe you just haven't found the right person yet?" (Don't blame her, she's a 60 year old woman.)
To which the warlock (bless him) goes "Well no, Red's not aromantic, they still have feelings. They're with the DM. They just don't find people sexy. Right?"
And I confirm, and explain that ace just means no attraction, and that I still am sexual with my partner (who I asked for permission to disclose details if asked beforehand) and that while I don't look at a person and think "Woah, sexy." that doesn't mean I don't have nerve endings or anything like that.
I've always described myself with this metaphor, and I'll post it here. Pretty people are pretty, like paintings. At no point ever have I thought "I wanna fuck that painting."
Paladin and Monk were confused, but eventually Warlock and I explained, and they got the spirit. They both congratulated me on being more authentically myself, and it was all very sweet.
So, happy ending!
....But I also started the conversation with: "So you guys are attracted to people, right? Like you just see people on the street and think 'Oh dang, I would like to have sex with that person?'"
And they confirm, and Warlock goes "It's like smelling someone cooking as you walk down the street. You don't suddenly NEED to eat, but you might feel a rumble in your stomach."
And my response was "Oh, because I totally thought people were just LYING."
Like it was one of those things you did as a kid, like "Oh yes, I am an adult and like The Sex with the Hot Person Over There."
TURNS OUT ONLY I WAS LYING. =D
Ahhhh ace adventures. -Red
