Everything had been too much lately, or maybe everything had been not enough. Either way, Byungchul should have predicted the unnerving churn of electricity in his veins. He rarely went three months without an episode of this sort, and he distinctly remembered what came of it last time; he had gone stumbling into Kiyeol's apartment, inebriated but not by extraneous means, and he was strongly considering making the same mistake twice. Kiyeol hadn't treated it like a mistake--that was why the thought of going to him again was so appealing--but Byungchul knew better. He shouldn't be acting on these thoughts.
It's better than meeting up with a stranger, his thoughts insisted. Somehow, these thoughts never felt like they were truly coming from his own head. An even more volatile voice within him reminded him that he ruined any other, safer options for comfort. That only made the horrible sensation intensify. He felt like he was crawling out of his own skin.
He didn't notice, but he was digging his jagged fingernails into his forearms. There was only problem with wanting to leave the dorm: Kulap. They shared a room, and Kulap slept just as little as Byungchul, so slipping out and not drawing attention to himself would be impossible, especially with how closely Kulap paid attention to him in the first place. Most nights, he would appreciate that about the younger, but tonight, it made him all the more aware of how dangerous he could become. Everything had been so good between them lately too. He wanted to prevent messing that up for as long as he possibly could.
Might as well be direct about it, if he'll notice anyway. Byungchul gathered one of his hoodies from the floor and started pulling it over his head. Once he successfully dragged it over his form, he took a step towards the door. "Hey, uh... I'm gonna go for-- for a little while. Just, like, get some... air."
