#adscribendi

[mihidocendi]

No more love

Next sixth months I better get my act up No more worrying about whether man give a fuck No more worrying about weather men, don't give a fuck No more helping the man I love get it up No more disappointment when I suck his dick and call his nut Then the nigga pulls his fingers out like "I'm done now, that's enough" Those were my first experiences and I thought that was what's what. I thought it was natural for the love to end there I didn't see that the love actually ended there No more tryna remember that the nigga doesn't care No more trying to forget what got me here Next sixth months I better get my act up No more moving on, it's July, I'm past it.

[mihidocendi]

delusions

I woke up to your hand cupped around my cheek, holding my face like a mother does her babe, stroking my lips with your thumb, slowly, gently, lovingly. I had woken up from a nightmare that we were strangers to the reality of ‘us’. In my dream there was nothing, but in that moment there was forever: a history and a future.

Your first touch was so powerful it confused fiction and fact. In my dream we were natural but from that moment there was misery: in our future from our history.

[mihidocendi]

Caught up

I don’t know what is going on but i’m stuck. Trapped in this place of torture. But I don’t want to leave. I guess, i’m trapped so I can’t leave. Or maybe that’s all in my head. Maybe I just have to push hard enough through the thorns and be free. Sometimes it looks like a rose bush. Other times just thorns and nettles, begging me to immerse myself in the pain, free myself of natures bondage before it all grows in on me. I want to be free but the roses are so pretty. And I was told they’d be out soon. I’m not trapped. I’m w..

[mihidocendi]

toluwaleke - I wrote the worst poem ever for my sister

From infants to young ladies you’ve grown up beside me. We’re never growing apart, you’ll always stride with me Thank you so much, because even though I hide me, You always support and are happy to guide me. I hope that I’ve made you proud!

[mihidocendi]

good on your own.

I ain’t nothing but a fucking stupid and foolish girl. Privileged brat, I’ve been given the world. But without a ‘him’ my blessings don’t seem enough. And that’s where society really fucked us up. Without a ‘her’ they can be whoever they wanna be. Well same fucking here, cos what’s ‘a man’ ever done for me?

[mihidocendi]

When did “I hate you” stop meaning “I love you” When you say those words, it feels a little too true You’re running away and there nothing I can do But I can’t have you hate me cos I’ll always love you

[mihidocendi]

amiallowedtobesad?

I’m so ashamed of everything I feel. What makes me happy, what makes me sad. I’m so ashamed, I conceal it, lie about it… Mostly to myself. 

I feel like I’m not allowed to be sad.

I bait it out then cower and pray that I don’t get in trouble because I’m not allowed to be sad.

I am not meant to care, I don’t get to be ‘heartbroken’. I’m not allowed to be sad because there was nothing, no one, to make me sad.

I built everything up in my head so I shouldn’t feel how I feel or felt or will feel. I made it this way, no one else, me. So it’s selfish that I’m sad.. unfair, mean.

I guess that answers that.

I’m not allowed to be sad.

[mihidocendi]

Caged

I can’t share anything With anyone Not even with the one (Whoever that is)

Not even here

The things I do for love I gave up my happiness for love Gave up my freedom for love.

And what’s funny is that the only thing I’m missing Is Love.