Cabal, in between hating yourself and accepting the love you don’t think you deserve
Cabal knows love. Despite the sadness that blossoms in him from the inside, gnawing at his ribs and threatening to render him asunder, he is full of love. So when Host says, "I couldn't ever love you" He replies with, "I don't love me either" Years before, he looks at himself in the mirror and wonders, if I can't love myself, then who can? The emptiness in his gut tells him, no one. He is found before the life leaves him. He lives, full of regret and covered in scars. He covers his scars with art. Hides the pain that still eats away at him. Host finds him from time to time, cheeks raw from tears. He says nothing, only sits close beside him and takes him in his arms. He has his own demons. He understands. He is there, and that is enough and he holds Cabal until they both fall asleep. Cabal thinks, maybe, this is love. He begins to heal. Host talks to him. He opens. And Cabal listens. When Cabal speaks, Host understands. They are flawed and broken and scared and something is changing within them both. It is sometime later that Host says, "I love you" When Host kisses him, gentle and kind, Cabal cries. The darkness in him says he doesn't deserve these touches. Host says, that's stupid because I am the darkness Cabal tells him he's stupid (I love you) (thank you) (hold me) Years come and go, their household growing and changing, but they remain unchanged And Cabal is fulfilled There is still a monster in his chest, but He's not afraid of monsters anymore
Cabal is my OC, Host belongs to @nasreddiin