Looking At The Silver Lining Of It All... :)
So, it’s 2:49 AM Wednesday. I should be asleep for tomorrow morning as it’s not like I don’t have to be up Early in the Morning , every morning. However I get so over taken in this entire ‘human experience’ thing that I go ahead and only nap for 4-5 hours and bounce back up. There ended Kings of Leon and this new track playing must be Bring Me The Horizon; they’ve changed a bit from the last I’ve heard of their screemo feast. (They sound the way the next record will most likely sound thanks to the looming future of my creative control being relinquished for a better advance- So I’m totally in talks with one of those monolithic corporations in reference to such), yes I’m listening to the Alt Anthems Soundtrack wondering why my “Hit Single” ‘Don’t Give A Damn’ isn’t on there- :/ It’s not like the first two reviewers didn’t refer to such as “Anthmic”; enough with the narcissistic musical rant.
I’ve assured myself (And those publications that have taken the time to review my music), that I do indeed have the talent to make music of critical acclaim, despite not having released the rest of the album due to hiccups with corporate America and unthinkable blips in one’s personal life; that really test the phrase Ironic. I did have an educator tell me, whilst pursuing venture’s especially in the Entertainment Industry, she said; “When somene is reaching for something in another vibration, everything in that old vibration falls away”. That’s when the term “Letting Go” comes to mind. I have to admit that my life would be a lot easier right now had I headed the knowledge that I’d been blessed with earlier in life. The plain, but obvious lesson that somethings (and toxic peoples) are better off cast to the void- You live you learn. However I’m still far from the point of loathing myself in the mirror (Even Flow by Pearl Jam is playing that slowing bridge...) as it’ll be hard to literally rip decades of healthy self esteem antics, years of yoga poses, and meditational stints, away from oneself. No I do not regularly go over my resume to feel more narcisstic and empowered but it does make me scoff occasionally to those few individuals that I’ve unknowingly butt heads with; Yet it helps the avoidence of downward spiral.
Shortly after releasing this single “Don’t Give A Damn” I truthfully have to admit that I literally crashed and burned, and disassociated from the entire thing. It took me a minute and alot of personal one on one coaching from the man who plays Bass in the touring band for me, my exclusive mentorship, and some alone time, to literally stop whining, feeling catatonic and literally get my shit together.
Being distastefully neurotic at points can be a thorn in the side of colleague’s, especially musical colleagues; that is something else that I’ve learned and am learning to tame and get back on the horse of productivity.
Anyway, Sunday afternoon I sat out on my bicycle to find this “Dallas Observer” and ask them in person why they haven’t reviewed my single. As my publicist has gotten every other Observer in ever other city in America to do so except... You guessed it. Likewise with the “Dallas Morning News” ; nothing from Dallas, and nothing from Fort Worth or Austin... Only El Paso, Houston, and San Antonion, Los Angeles, Miami, New York----- You get the picture. After five plus outstanding review’s I am forced to believe that there is a problem. With a “problem” being such a small word; maybe “Vendetta” is the word that I’m looking for. Eitherway, I’m starting to loose interest with the antic’s of this city. As when I rolled upon the “Observer” building, the sign for “Observer” has gone MIA and the front door was locked, despite having “four hours to close” with a shy looking 2013 Lexus ES350 sitting in the parking lot. I suppose someone is cowering inside, writting the latest article about some woman protesting for the use of medical marijuana with a sign around her neck that said “Will Work For Weed”; she talks about being violated by the local authoritarians as she’s one of those people from Califronia who bounced to Houston than to here who will stop at nothing until they turn the place into Denver or Vancouver... I’m sure that her and other’s ailments may be eased by the THC, I on the other hand will have to irrevocably pass, as being a Black Man in America; everyone seems to have something up their sleeve- So having a 100% squeaky clean system is more than the way to go. I am convinced that the Dallas Observer is running away from me, I’ve sent them messeges via Facebook, Email, Telephone, my Publciist has even left messeges. However they’d rather cover individuals who don’t even have a publicist. Honestly, a bad review would’ve tickled me. A disgruntled bold face print of why my idiosyncratic yodeling is “un-Texan” would do, bash my usage of Pop Music Standard Auto Tune effects in the lyric “it’s Oooover Now”; if I weren’t being compared to the likes of Edie Brickell on Spotify; I wouldn’t be under the impression that where wasn’t a vendetta of sorts. As clearly at this time in my 23 year old life, all of the older people firmly believe that I have ruffled all of their feathers and stepped on alot of toes- All by mistake if that was the case.
So much for small town living, as this place is filling up like mad. The Producer of this record would like to get on with his life as would the rest of the staff so we’ll be hopping back in the studio in a few days to finish what I started. Meanwhile, the next single to be released is called “So Deep” You guessed it, the design of the background here is a lyric from the song “2 Once In Love So Deep” which is actually a rewrite of a No Wave song, I wrote and produced with an Engineer in Denton- Only to have the lyrics on the tip of my tongue, the track being reimagined as a Pop/Rock, Post-Grunge, Alternative Pop/Rock Track. I’m so excited to share it with the world as I’m in talks right now with a talented drawing artist who’s drumming up an original idea for it’s lyric video.
As for the official music video for “Don’t Give A Damn”; I did meet a director of a horror film who wanted to put it in his film, but I lost contact with him; I signed a contract on it so it’s most likely in that video. However I managed to get in contact with yet another horror film film maker who wants it, so keep your eyes peeled for that one too. However realistically speaking the lyric video and music video for “So Deep” will be released first as it’s more “pop” and admitedly my favorite song, lyrically that I have ever written to date.
Alright guys it’s 3:30 AM. I’m going to attempt to hit the hay until 7:30; maybe head down to Whole Foods for that $0.25 OatMeal before becoming super productive.
Until Next Time, I’m still looking at the Silver Lining Of It All...