#after august

[ckl4tcd]

heyy (did you guys know i have tumblr)

ok new year new me hopefully i'm gonna start posting here 👍 drew vanya for (orthodox) christmas. my favorite white christian boy

[mcmactictac]

Since the lovely @singular-almond started a tag for it I am here to add my thoughts to the After August discussion. It’s insanely good for it to be the playwrights first work and I cannot stop thinking about it.

Brief summary for my theatre followers who have no idea what I’m talking about the plot of the play follows Avery as she copes with the death of her brother August who is killed in a car accident. Her boyfriend Elliot was Augusts best friend, and the story centers around how the two of them are dealing with their grief in different ways. TW for attempted suicide

Time for bullet points I go insane for

-using Francesca by Hozier as the theme. Picking a song about endless love, undying devotion, and the recurring theme of “even though I suffered, I’d do it again because loving you was worth it”

-after the accident the lights come up on Avery in the car alone. August was just there. And now he’s gone. The car has clearly been stripped to its bare bones. You’ve got some harsh white lighting compared to the cool dim headlights from before. You instantly realize that August is dead because his presence is just so obvious

-Avery searching for August, seeing him in the corner of the stage (literally emerging from the light) going to approach him and then him saying “I’m sorry Ave” and physically pushing her back into the darkness as you hear a defibrillator go off. Then he walks back into the light. If it wasn’t obvious before it sure was now

-the instrumental version of Francesca that plays in the scene changes. It’s like a simple fucking piano version of it and it haunts me it’s incredible but also it’s ruined my life.

-August coming back as a ghost but he’s Wrong. Avery notices it and the audience notices it because she does but also the audience barely gets any time to KNOW August before he dies. They just have to take Avery’s word for it. There’s very clearly elements of who he was but he’s not the same.

-Avery waking up with blood on her hands, telling the ghost of August that it’ll be gone by morning. Her crippling guilt for surviving when August died (she was driving the car)

-Elliot coming to pick her up even though it’s like 3am and he works the next day because he promised he’d be there for her no matter what

-the entire interaction of Avery calling Elliot and going “love you” and Elliot replying “you too” and August immediately clocking it and going “ooh. He did not say it back did he? Guess he doesn’t love you.” And Avery fighting back and forth with August about if Elliot loves her or not (August is literally a figment of her memories, he’s all in her head. She doesn’t even know if Elliot loves her)

-Avery struggling with her own guilt over August’s death but not knowing if Elliot blames her because Elliot refuses to talk to her about his own feelings and she’s so wrapped up in her own grief she doesn’t push.

-Avery fighting with August and deciding to give therapy a try and him responding with “fine. At least it’s your funeral this time!”. Awful. Sickening, disgusting. I love it.

-August constantly taunting and antagonizing Avery and not in a loving sibling way. Avery trying to go to therapy and talk it out and be open and August just pushing her and bullying her and telling her to take the cowards way out and leave, telling her it’s only a matter of time before the therapist realizes it’s her fault he’s dead, pushing her and pushing her until she ends up punching the therapist. Crazy

-Elliot getting calls from Avery’s mom saying that she punched the therapist, and immediately leaving work early to go deal with that. And then what do we see? BAM. Another August ghost. But this one is different. This one is Elliot’s grief as August. Where’s Avery gets the spiteful one Elliot’s August is soft, kind and gentle. He provides Elliot with the support he doesn’t have in his own life. He’s timid in a way that was unlike the real August. And despite his care for Elliot, he still cares so much for Avery and needs Elliot to keep her safe now that he’s gone. That burden Elliot feels to protect her because it’s what he wanted.

-BAM. Bisexual lighting. They lean in. Holy shit. Elliot was in love with August. The moments cut short. They never actually kiss. Elliot leaves and August follows him. The love was there. And even when August is gone Elliot still carries that love

-Elliot walking into Avery’s room to comfort her and Elliot’s version of August shadowing him upstage. Elliot has quite literally taken over Augusts role of protecting Avery. While he can see that August she can’t. The parallels between them are insane

-Avery being so wrapped up in her emotions that she focuses on things Elliot can’t understand. She doesn’t understand why Elliot doesn’t seem to be hurting and he seems all perfect and fine but he’s barely holding it together because he feels he needs to be there for her. He lost August too and he’s clearly hurting so fucking badly. Avery is like yeah you do everything you’re supposed to do but you don’t see me. You won’t fucking look at me. And Elliot not understanding why that’s what she’s so focused on and hes doing everything in his power to help her.

-Elliot literally begging Avery to let him “fix her” and her shutting down

-Avery going to party to prove she can be independent and she doesn’t need to be fixed. Her accidentally kissing her ex, and then panicking. She gets so drunk, that her ghost of August comes back and she’s thrilled to see him.

-also because of how drunk she is this August is more like the real August. He’s more patient with her. Not as cruel. Helps her and listens to her a bit. And then Avery explains how fucked up things are and begs him to tell her what to do and he just goes “I can’t. I’m not here anymore, you have to figure this out yourself” and then leaves

-Avery almost getting hit by a car as she wanders around drunk and alone. Parallels methinks.

-her calling Elliot bc she doesn’t know what else to do, Elliot instantly clocking that she’s drunk and desperately asking if she didn’t drive. Avery being insulted because she thinks Elliot doesn’t trust her to drive at ALL and doesn’t realize that he’s just worried about her driving drunk. That insult turning to hurt after realizing he thinks she could ever do that after what happened to August. Her trying to hurt him back by saying she kissed her ex and then realizing he doesn’t care.

-Elliot frantically leaving work, searching for wherever the fuck Avery has gone, with his version of August behind him freaking out, voicing his worst fears, reminding Elliot that he promised August he’d take care of her. Elliot finding Avery’s phone, but not her. That moment of “fuck. I might be too late” before he finds her on the side of the road.

-Elliot sitting beside her, and Avery immediately spits on him and he’s like. Ok. I’ve done something wrong. Idk what, but it’s something.

-the moment of Avery just wanting him to feel something. To get mad. To be angry at her. To be anything other than perfect.

-Avery talking about winter formal, their first dance, and how much she loves him and has for ages. She talks about what he wore and what it was like. And then she asks him what she wore to formal and he cant answer.

-elliot hitting a breaking point because he doesnt know how to help her. he cant, because he doesnt see her. everytime she looks at him all he sees is august looking back. and if he couldn't save august, the least he could do is protect her. the horrid realization that their relationship is crumbling because he only sees august. the staging that puts avery directly beside elliots august. hes talking to her, but hes looking at him

-avery, miserable, drunk and alone, only wanting to talk to her brother. realizing the only way she can see the real august again is to die herself. trying to use a defibrillator to kill herself as shes so desperate

-the moment of darkness before she wakes up, calling for august. The lights go up and shes there but he isnt. the moment of horror as she realizes what she did and hes not even here. shes alone again. the blood is still on her hands.

-her referencing the blood saying "i guess it never goes away!" as shes having a manic breakdown. august, the REAL august, emerging from the shadows, telling her it does. she just has to forgive herself

-August wiping the blood off of her hands as she tells him everything, how much shes missed him, how she looks for him everywhere but cant find him. how she needs to talk but the only person she wants to talk to is him

-her telling him "everyone who ever loved me loved you first. loved you better" and him just saying "i didnt! i dont!" and reminding her how important she is

-Avery admitting she feels at fault for his death, and then he reveals that he has blood on his hands as well, that showed up after she messed with the defribillator to see him. her insisting that wasnt his fault, and him reminding her the crash wasnt hers, that the other driver was drunk.

-august hearing her heartbeat come back and being so grateful. telling her that he'll see her again but she needs to wait a little longer next time

-elliot finding Averys body in the garage, blaming himself for leaving her alone, and desperatley doing CPR to get her back

-time skip. avery and elliot broke up but they cross paths while visiting augusts grave. elliot admits he loved august, but never knew if august felt the same way. they both apologize for how they hurt the other and agree to be friends. they both want the piece of august that still resides in the other to be close to them

-elliot offering to drive avery home, but she admits that she drove. shes been able to escape some of that guilt and fear to move forward

-avery talking to augusts grave. telling him about how something said at her funeral reminded her of english class. that she never understood the saying, and thought it was dumb. "its better to have loved and lost, than to never love at all" her final words to him being "i think i get it now" the ghost of real elliot watches her from the remains of the car, as she walks away. francesca by hozier starts playing again. i am a sobbing mess. i proceed to go insane. everyone i know goes insane. i post a long winded summary on tumblr.com because i dont know what else to do with myself. haunted by a narrative only a handful of people have seen.

thanks for coming to my ted talk i am happy to elaborate more on any of these points as I Am Crazy :)

[singular-almond]

Making this post because this play deserves a Tumblr fandom. It’s made by a friend of mine. Here are some shoutout lines from the play that are so so good

-“Everyone who loved me, loved you first”

-“If I could make you happy then that would make August happy and all I want to do is make August happy because then maybe…”

-“I think I saw him, I think I always saw him”

-“I didn’t get it then, but I think I get it now”

I hope it becomes more public one day

[yeehawnojutsu]

“It’s really sweet.” Tenzo took another sip and wrinkled his nose. “What is it?”

“Sex on the beach,” Kakashi said. Tenzo inspected the plastic cup, swirling the contents once before downing the rest of it in a large gulp. “Not as appealing as it sounds.”

“Is it supposed to sound appealing?” Tenzo asked, swiping the side of his hand across his mouth. Kakashi’s eyes followed the movement and when they lifted to Tenzo’s again, something had shifted. Like the only time he’d gone swimming in the ocean as a kid, attempting to touch the bottom only to realize he’d somehow gotten too deep. 

🌊🌊 After August chapter 4 is posted 🌊🌊

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[ahiddenpath]

Digiweek Day 06: Challenge

In 2022, I tried book binding for the first time.  I decided to bind After August (AO3/FFN), a complete digimon fanfic about the Chosen adjusting to life on earth following their adventures in the Digital World:

"A few days ago, they were the Chosen. Now they were just a bunch of bereft, displaced kids." When the Chosen return to earth, they have difficulty resuming their old lives. The story dips into everyone's perspectives as they struggle to overcome the trauma they faced in the Digital World and their longing for their digimon so they can rally around Taichi once more.

I shot a video to show you the inside of the book, and to talk about the process and the fic.  I even read the first little scene :D  All of my book binding tips and resources are available here!  I added some tips and links to exact items I used.

I first discovered the idea of printing and book binding fanfics when the lovely @citrus-cactus reblogged a post about it in February 2020.  It took me over two years to work up the courage to try it!  It seemed so complex and scary, but if you break it down into steps, like I did in my resources, it’s not that bad!  And being able to hold the story I love so much is so rewarding.

Today is challenge day!  I challenge anyone who is interested in book binding to give it a go!  It’s a lovely and rewarding hobby <3

[ckl4tcd]

ok heyy pinned post i'm donya, an illustrator trapped in a graphic design student body. eastern european culture enthusiast, big fan of bears, music enjoyer. i love my ocs !! and am currently working on a comic about them called what will come after august, or just after august for short :—) main ocs - # sima, # zoya and # vanya comic tag - # after august instagram · spotify · pinterest · airbuds

more art of the trio below ! they are incredibly dear to me.

[ckl4tcd]

a bunch of fake after august pages i did for my uni

they aren't related to each other and supposed to be like. random pages that grab your attention as you take a quick look through the comic book. so in case these don't make any sense to you, good. that was my intention

[yeehawnojutsu]

Tenzo froze in the Hatake’s drive because there, parked under the house between the stilts, was an old silver two-door Jeep Wrangler. The heartbeat pounding in his ears became the wind thundering against the soft top—he could hear Kakashi’s voice again, something close to a shout to be heard over the roar. He could feel the sting in his cheeks from his hair whipping against his face and the heat of a hand on his thigh.

When Tenzo boarded that Greyhound bus the day before, he resolved not to allow himself too much hope, but with Kakashi’s Jeep right there and the porch light a yellow glow above him, now hope swept over him, too strong to be contained. Enough hope to drown in.

🌊🌊 prologue is posted for my new fic, After August 🌊🌊

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works