After he’s sure the scratched front door is locked, he turns off the light—it flickers for a moment before the yellow glow of the old bulb vanishes, a softer one on the bedside table immediately comes to life. The butterfly shaped lamp he gifted her in a joking manner when she told him she was broke for a replacement.
It’s a routine at this point.
He’s careful when he sits in the small bed that squeaks under his weight, mindful of the bundle in his strong arms and the woman sitting, propped up on flat pillows that are worn out and thinned out. In this way, it’s stark that she’s still recovering from surgery.
He places the tiny baby in Tess’ open arms, pale arms full of blue veins like rivers that still hold her awkwardly. Thus, Joel corrects the way she cradles the baby and under the pads of his fingers he notes she’s stiff, muscles strained, she’s always a bundle of nerves when she needs to nurse Ellie. But the girl needs to eat. After all, how is she gonna grow healthier if she’s denied that?
“Do ya want me to-” He vaguely gestures to the black buttons, one lost a long ago, of the button down shirt she wears.
“No.” It is said convincingly.
Tess undoes them one by one, always apprehensive of accepting his help, slow and careful so as not to drop Ellie while she sniffs, tiny nose scrunching. His heart softens. She’s really cute. Sarah was just like that, but blonde, and in the blink of an eye, she grew up too quickly.
He missed it, missed this.
He stares, he always stares because he’s aware Tess has never done this, because she’s confident everywhere but here, sitting on a bed much smaller for the amount of people in it, taking her left breast out and bringing her nipple to their daughter’s mouth, waiting for the little girl’s lips to part and suckle. Ellie constantly needs a little help, she’s still catching up, but tonight, she responds so soon Tess lets a soft gasp slip.
While observing the scene cautiously, Tess shifts her elegant shoulders, rolls them to ease the strain of Ellie’s weight and something like pride tugs at his heart: she’s gaining weight as if she wasn’t born premature, long weeks spent in the NICU.
And long nights spent praying, hands intertwined and eyes shut, that she would stay awake come next morning, that little Ellie and her mama would recover soon and they would get home. Home.
But there wasn’t a cozy house waiting for them, just a cheap apartment close to the bar Tess worked in, for she was all alone. They would be all alone. So he has spent weeks now taking care of the pair.
And he remembers what’s slowly eating his mind.
Come live with me, both of you.
Some milk dribbles down the baby’s chin, he wants to reach out to clean it with the soft washcloth he keeps in his front pocket. Still, he knows better. He doesn’t want to make Tess uncomfortable, to agitate her even more, knows she prefers to nurse if he can keep his hands to himself, if she can pretend he isn’t in the room. Just Ellie and her, like it was supposed to be.
He chews the inside of his cheek, pondering her reaction. It will be a resolute no, without hesitation or uncertainty. She doesn’t want his help, she made sure to remind him, she only gave in for him to be here because the surgery had taken a toll on her body.
Regardless, he is as stubborn as Tess.
“Tess.”
Silence, she rocks Ellie slightly. So Joel tries again, louder this time, she frowns.
“What?”
She will not like this, he has to try. “Tess, you can’t stay here.”
Tess chuckles bitterly, amusement fills her features, she holds back a laugh as she shakes her head, the auburn tendrils falling like waterfalls over her shoulders.
“Where else am I supposed to go?” She doesn’t look unfazed by his intense stare, shrugging helplessly. It’s almost as if the question is sincere, not sarcastic or rhetoric: she doesn't have anywhere else to go. He observes her uncovered shoulder and her sharp collarbone, starry with freckles that Ellie is sure to inherit. She’s the spitting image of her mama in these few weeks, no matter if she denies it, rejects it, even.
He gets tongue-tied, scratches the back of his neck as thunder roars in the sky.
He didn’t expect it.
Ellie’s whimpers get muffled from her spot—then she stops eating, separating from Tess’s breast as the woman winces unconsciously when the scared infant nuzzles into her warm skin, tiny fist clinging to the fabric of her clothes.
However, she shushes the baby and rocks her gently, her dulcet voice whispers, “‘S just a storm kid, nothing to be scared of.”
He stares wide-eyed. From all these past weeks there hadn't been a moment where Tess naturally could calm the baby, she hadn’t even wanted to hold her once they got home, didn’t want to breastfeed, she was struggling and it was normal. Joel was patient, he understood; but she could comfort her this time around. He notes then, that she has this lingering sadness in her eyes, quiet pondering reflecting in her younger features. Fuck, he didn’t answer.
Wincing at himself, he clears his throat, “With… with me.”
Tess blinks, narrows her eyes in that signature way he could recognize anywhere. He prepares for the negative response.
Instead, because she is Tess, she never forgets, never forgives, she brushes Ellie’s tears away and replies without missing a beat, “So they can kick down the door and yell at me to go away like last time. I got it right, Joel?”
That awful afternoon, a scenario not even the worst of his nightmares could conjure, the crumble of his lies and the reality settling in. He thinks about Sarah’s big blue eyes and how she looked at him with that hard stare: you deceived me with lies. I don’t trust you anymore. You betrayed me. If you are my dad, why couldn’t you be honest?
And he knows they still need to have a talk. He still needs to fix things because he doesn’t want his older daughter to resent him—and he can’t help but smile, he has two baby girls now—he can’t let this make them grow apart. But he has too much on his plate and for now his focus is firstly on the baby and her mother, then his own teenage daughter who will forgive him after they sit on the porch and have a long heart to heart.
He wouldn’t forgive himself if something happened to this vulnerable baby or her unsteady mother. He already failed them once, he won’t repeat the same mistake twice.
“‘S not- Sarah’s a good kid, she won’t bother you,” He wants to reassure her: that outburst was just an isolated instance, she’s a good girl, he’s, after all, proud of how he raised her.
Joel makes a mental list of all the things he urgently needs to baby proof as he studies Tess’s features. She purses her mouth, her gaze glued to the ceiling full of cracks. He wants her to stay in a better place. “She’s at school most of the time, she likes to stay at other friend’s houses and she’s a sweet girl, she ain’t bugging ya, promise.” Joel gives it another try.
“You never told me you had a daughter.” There’s a hint of irony in her voice, a faint reproach. The start of an argument. A prickling spark at the tip of her tongue, ready to catch flames and burn everything with her. She did it at the hospital last time. That last time they saw each other before they parted ways, way before she even gave birth.
He wants to fight back, and you told me you were on the pill, we’re even, but he bites his tongue when Ellie’s soft baby noises repeat in his ears, blissfully ignorant of what happens around her as Tess guides her and she returns to latch, pleased and safe. He’s doing this for her. That tough girl fought to stay alive and needs a better place to stay. To grow up.
How is she the one to blame?
“Tess, think about her,” He reaches out to run a finger over Ellie’s soft cheek, fuller now, but still too thin. “This ain’t about us anymore. There’s a baby here, and she needs us.”
There’s more thunder and furious raindrops, traffic buzzing with loud motor engines and car horns, shouts from across the streets and music blasting at full volume; the apartment walls are paper thin, this place is not suitable for a baby. Not even suitable for an adult, either.
But the room is quiet, quiet except for the little sounds Ellie makes as she eats; she eats more than last week. A tough girl, she’s progressing fast.
Tess lowers her head, furious hazel eyes met his own, open and tender.
“So what - I’m gonna be in debt with you all the time? That’s what’s happening here?” There’s fight in her words, the same tone as the one she used time and time again to shout and storm off, mad at everything and everyone, fuck off, Joel, and leave me alone, but tamed down in the sake of a nursing infant.
“No that ain’t- that ain’t what’s going on here, Tess, y’know it.” Joel is itching to touch her, for they speak better in that way. They’re not used to actually talk, they never discuss, they fuck away their disagreements. He settles for returning to his spot, and gives her space.
“Do I? Tell me, do I? What tells me you’re not gonna turn around and tell me to pay you back, uh?” Here, at the moment, Tess is so sincere and actually frightened that he can’t reply. The words get caught in his throat.
He would never do that. He never did that. He’s taking care of her because he understands Tess currently has the worst time after childbirth. She’s so cold and distant and numb. She hardly eats or rests, and he still has to help her bathe even if she hates it. And the reason is he’s genuinely worried about how her C-section is healing, and he knows she will get a scar after they take away the stitches. Knows it because he already went through this with his ex wife; but he’s by her side because, and he doesn’t admit it, he loves Tess. He wants this woman in his life, in his house, and he wants to take care of her and help her. Her and her baby, their baby.
And their little Ellie needs someone to take care of her simply for the fact that she’s just a baby, because she’s way too weak and tiny, because her mama is struggling and because he already was a father, he knows what to do, knows how to take care of an infant on his own, but he doesn’t want Ellie to grow up without her mama like Sarah, not again. And Tess isn’t like Christine—she loves Ellie. She may not have wanted her in the past, but she’s cradling her right now as she almost finishes, ready to sleep with her belly full and her warm blanket in her crib, the crib he immediately got for her even before she was home. Because he was sure she would get home from the hospital. No one believed as hard as him, not with the same conviction.
“Tess,” and Joel doesn’t think twice, as he grabs her by the waist and tugs her to his chest, kisses the top of her hair as she stiffens, “Jesus, you don’t owe me anything, nothin’ to stress over.”
Tess seems to relax at his words. She lets out a shaky breath, and he holds her closer. She doesn’t want his help, but he will try again and again. Ellie finishes, yawns wide like all babies do, and sleep settles heavy in her curious eyes.
“I have-” She pauses, he peers down at her, and she avoids his gaze. Ellie’s little body is placidly being squished between them. “This is something serious, Joel.”
Barely contained, he deflates, “Right, but-”
“I’ll think about it.” Tess leans back, tucks herself under his chin.
Silly idea for the Time Travel Fx It Rodimus AU: Rodimus figures out the best way to make sure that Getaway doesn’t go full on crazy and evil: seducing him.
Rodimus contracts ‘I can fix him’ disease. More at 11
That would be hilarious, especially since I was worried the Getaway stuff would be worse in Round Two but if he puts his mind to it I believe he can at least try to fix Getaway (maybe even prevent the mutiny with the right treatment)
Will he fix him? Probably not fully, IDW Getaway is distinctly a bastard and we see that in MTMTE and LL. But, they managed to help give IDW Megatron a redemption arc. They can totally foster a bastard who's trying now dynamic in Getaway.
Getarod is an interesting ship in my opinion, and I hope a more psychologically mature Rodimus would handle the relationship better than a round one Rodimus would
Here’s a concept: Bad ending!Rodimus getting sent back in time to the beginning of MTMTE. Now he has a chance to make sure things go right this time around
I mean how hard could it possibly be?
If I remember the last time travel got involved in MTMTE, very very hard
But hey! Interesting new decisions would be made, and maybe he'll get a do over on some of his biggest regrets (like exiling Drift!)
Time traveling Roddy's gonna have a lot on his plate: Stopping Overlord from rampaging, making sure Luna 1 goes more smoothly than last time, trying to ensure Getaway DOESN'T go full on Starscream, just to name a few.
In short, he has his hands full to say the least.
Exactly
I'm very very torn on how the Getaway stuff would go besides it being different. Because I feel like Getaway might zero in on not liking Rodimus a lot earlier than in canon thanks to Rodimus's attitude towards the mech already being quite poisoned (via now knowing about the future treason and danger he puts Rodimus's mecha in)
I like to think that Rodimus is a better mech at the start of round two than he was in the initial timeline, which causes interesting results (especially with his dynamic within LL Command)
Trying to puzzle out ways that Rodimus can find out about Overlord without it being suspicious, because I feel like he's going to try to hide that he's done so much of this before. But rarely do things go smoothly with Overlord involved.
Time traveling Rodimus telling Prowl to shove it up his tailpipe with the Overlord thing. "Nope Overlord is your problem." Lost Light mission will not be compromised by this!"
Excluding Overlord from the LL entirely has to have interesting consequences!
i desperately need a rodimus timetravels back in time fic. like god. all the things he would do. all the shit he'd not do. all the shit he'd end up doing bc of the shit he didn't do.
