#agonyuncle

[shahlaatahira]

I’m going to try & not hurt anyone’s feelings alongside the bro @kalexwzy in an IG LIVE #bluntBlogger 📲 DM us a problem you’re facing before we go live 6pm (GMT) next Tuesday or just join the live for Lol’s . . . . . . . . . . #BluntBlogger #agonyaunt #agonyuncle #debatetopics #femaleperspective #maleperspective #talkingpoint #lifeadvice #adviceoftheday #careeradvice #adviceforlife #bestadvice #himandher #relationshipadvice #thetruthhurts #thereal #golive #iglive #quarantineandchill #quarantine2020 (at London, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-cHKhkAqEE/?igshid=ze36aqevqvx6

[syndromeblue-blog]

Stolen from my pal @stagedivephotos 😜😜😜 #agonyuncle #manadvice #hesnotwrong #cartroubles (at West Midlands)

[kwakil]

Virgin

Apparently they still make virgins these days..

Dear Kwaki I am a teenage girl who recently matriculated and am now studying at University, the thing is I am a virgin and truthfully speaking the thought of sex scares me and I find it disgusting. I hear my friends talking about it all the time and sometimes I am forced to lie because the only thing I have ever done is kiss, which I enjoy a lot. Am I normal ??I consider myself to be quite attractive and I have been getting lots of attention from fellow male students and there is one I am interested in, what do I do???? Virgin Dear Virgin For a while there you got me thinking I had got an e-mail from Richard Branson until I read your message. I am impressed you even survived high school without losing your virginity from what I hear some kindergarten kids have more experience than you. Anyway the way you talk about sex I presume you expected that the first guy to chow you would use a fork and knife. Sex is disgusting, it was meant to be enjoyed that way. It is a pleasurable process which has bodily fluids flying in all sorts of directions, you will get to kiss some guy who has morning breath the next day. That is just the way it is and the sooner you get off your high horse and realise this, the better your first time will be. Bear in mind sex is an aquired taste, it gets better with time and more exploration of yourself to find out the best positions that give you the required satisfaction so masturbate a lot. Be safe at all times trust no one and never do something out of pressure. Usually I am an asshole when answering people but you caught me in a good mood, i just had sex ..... so you see it cant be that bad. Kwaki

[kwakil]

The origins...

The reason I started the whole agony uncle thing was when I wrote to myself in my journal (diaries are for women) and decided to reply myself. A bit crazy but sometimes you're the only person who can give yourself expert advice.

Dear Kwaki I do not know what it is about me but I feel that whenever my intentions are good with a woman she loses interest in me but when they are not I have to use a scapel to scrape them off my dick, is there something wrong with being nice to a woman? Please help!!! Yours truly  Kwaki Dear Kwaki (ok this is begining to sound reduntant) First of all do you realize you are talking to yourself? That being said I have answered your question, of course there is something wrong with you, you bloody moron....stop using your emotions and start using your erections seeing as the latter seem to get you laid. Of course you are not to blame entirely, women are hypocrites they say one thing and do another. There is one fundamental secret to understanding the female species ..... never expect them to act rationally. That being said I know you still love whatshername... I mean this anonymous woman you are talking about but ask yourself (which is what you are doing right now-this is getting confusing) is she worth it, I mean just because she is beautiful, has the voice of an angel, a freak in bed and you love her with all your heart (whats left of it anyway) and miss her with all your body .... damn man you messed up our lives, what the hell posessed you to let her go? Ahhh well Kwaki

[kwakil]

More agonies of an agony uncle...

Some agonies deserve brief answers 

Dear Kwaki I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again. (Maybe he will make sure you dont get the evidence this time) Dear Kwaki I have been married to my husband for three months, and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober. (stock up on the liqour) Dear Kwaki I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his. (You should get a D.N.A test and while your are at the hospital pass by the psychiatric ward) Kwaki A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties.These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out.Do you think they could be Lebanese?

( ahh.... I don't even have a come back for this one)

[kwakil]

When ignorance prevails...

Ignorance is bliss, at least to the ignorant. For the rest of us, their ignorance is comic material. From the Agony Uncle archives here are the Agonies of an agony uncle...

Dear Kwaki What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my DVD player?  (Get a new DVD Player or new DVD's whichever will cost your stupid ass more) Dear Uncle Kwaki I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. (I think I know you) Dear Kwaki Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own? (Because his own is ignorant, that's why) Dear Uncle Kwaki I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out? (I got married to have sex, now that I have had it how do I get out.... ok maybe yours is a bit complicated, try quitting) Dear Kwaki  My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist a visit an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy. (Nice observation) Dear Uncle Kwaki Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift?I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he did it. (I am just confused here) Dear Kwaki My mother is mean and short-tempered.I think she is going through her mental pause. (Seems like your mental just stopped) Dear Kwaki I read a certain Agony Aunties column where she told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor.Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor. (You got it bad)

[kwakil]

The Agony Uncle is in...

I used to run a blog in which i was tough love kind of agony uncle and I think its time I resumed my duties. The first few posts will be from my former blog kwaki.blogspot.com until such a time someone asks me for advice. Considering my responses it may be never, but experience has taught me "never" is a relative term that has an expiry date.

I will also do my own previews for literature or artwork I see or that has been sent to me.

Kwaki