Alex Manes Appreciation Week 2020
Day 1: Family
To the Moon and Back
Alex tries to put his family back together.
"Hey, mom."
She whirled around, and Alex was only able to catch a glimpse of her face before she slammed into him, pulling him into a tight hug. He hugged her back and forced himself not to bury his face in her neck, forced himself to keep his emotions in check.
When he pulled away, she loosened her hold on him, but didn't let him go far. She framed his face in both her hands and smiled sadly, wistfully. "Oh, look at you," she exclaimed, eyes roaming his face, "my beautiful boy."
Alex smiled, but he could feel it wavering as his lips quivered with the effort it took to keep his emotions in check. "How have you been?"
"I've been alright, baby." She took his hand in hers and all but dragged him into the Crashdown. Alex stared at their hands and tried to remember the last time his mother had held his hand. It had to be when he was seven, on the night she'd left them. She'd come into his room some time after everyone had gone to sleep and slipped next to him in bed. She'd gasped and hissed as she settled next to him, and Alex, at age seven, hadn't known what those noises had meant. When he'd asked her why she was there, his mother had cried softly, and did her best to hide it. He'd done his best to hold her with his tiny arms and she hadn't returned his hug, but she'd taken one of his hands and kissed it.
"I love you," she'd whispered against the skin of his hand, eyes closed.
"To the moon and back," Alex had whispered back.
His mother chose the table furthest back and kept hold of his hand even after they sat down. It was overwhelming, and it was really weird. She'd always been free with her affection; something his father had never approved of as he thought babying them Mandela them weak. She'd never been deterred, though; had always kissed their skinned knees and smothered them with hugs after school and slept with them in their beds after a nightmare.
An ache settled deep in his chest as he remembered how loved he and his brothers had been back then. He wondered if now, after almost twenty years of only minimal contact, she still loved them as much.
"Alex, honey? Where'd you go?"
He shook his head, and with it willed those thoughts away. What's done is done, he tried to convince himself , there was no use crying over spilled milk. Taking a deep breath, he smiled, small and genuine. "Nowhere. I'm here," he said as he squeezed her hand.
Her smile, which had dimmed a little when he'd zoned out, was back in full force. "So, tell me about you! Tell me everything."
Alex laughed softly, looking down. "There's really nothing much to tell." When her face fell, he hastened to add, "but you can ask whatever you want to know."
She brightened considerably. "Well, let's get some of the boring stuff out first; still in the air force?"
He laughed, not as offended as he thought he should be. "Yes. At least for another two years."
"Hi, captain Manes," the new waitress, Anna, smiled brightly at him, then at his mother. "Ca I take your order?"
"Little Green Man milkshake with a side of fries."
She quickly scribbled the order down then turned to his mother. "And for you?"
"Just the milkshake."
Once Anna left, his mother turned to him with a raised eyebrow. "Do you still dip fries in your milkshake?"
She sounded exasperated, but fond, and Alex just shrugged with a smile. "It tastes good."
"It really doesn't, but I'm done trying to convince you of that. Now, where were we?" Then she snapped her fingers. "Ah, yes, you were telling me about your love life."
He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "I really wasn't."
"Oh, come on, give me something? There's no way there isn't someone in your life."
"And why is that?"
"Are you fishing for compliments?"
He shook his head with a chuckle. "There is someone."
She clasped her hands tightly and put both under her chin, her smile wide. "Tell me everything."
"There's really not much to tell. We went on one date and he's- he's a good man. I just-"
She patted his hand, and her excited smiled turned into a soft one. "You don't have to have it all figured out right now, honey."
He nodded. "Yeah."
"Gregory tells me you kissed a boy in a crowded bar full of cowboys, right after you sang a song that you wrote," she started tentatively and the there was pride in her words. It seemed like she was extending an olive branch. "What's it about? Do I get to hear it?"
His smile dimmed and he looked down. "It's about-" me, he wanted to say. It's about the man I'm in love with. It's about my life, every part of it that you missed. He didn't say any of it, though. Alex had never been one to use his words for the sole purpose of hurting someone, and he knew that one would hurt her.
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