#alexpirtle

[eye-cancer]

go follow my best friend A L E X he’s got three blogs and is hilarious

[fantasticallyimprobable]

eret, son of eret: well soil my britches!

me: did he just say "shit my pants"?

alex: THIS IS A KIDS MOVIE

[fantasticallyimprobable]

alex: when toothless blasted stoick there wasn't even a mark on him, like he should have had a hole through his stomach or something

alex: ...

alex: oh yea this is a kids movie

[fantasticallyimprobable]

basically if you’re not watching bob’s burgers you are really missing out because in one of their latest episodes they slammed the shit out of bronies

[fantasticallyimprobable]

if your vagina had a name it would be canada wet

[fantasticallyimprobable]

new year, new me. it’s been happening for years. i have been spawning clones for decades. they are becoming increasingly unruly. some believe they are the originals and want to overthrow me as their ruler. someone help me.

[fantasticallyimprobable]

alex: why don't you just become a lesbian?

me: you don't just become a lesbian

me: you have to go through initiation