#almost outed myself

[procyonicryptid]

my sister was asking my mom if she’s “too young for boys” and my mom pointed at me and said “she’s still not into boys, she’s being smart” and i almost snorted

[enbyeddiediaz]

So I'm not out to basically anyone and today my friend was braiding my hair in 2 braids and she goes "sorry it's not straight" and DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME TO NOT OUT MYSELF THEN AND THERE BY SAYING "It's okay neither am I"????? I almost said that outloud in front of a bunch of Christians. Damn near outed myself bc my bisexual ass wanted to make a pun

[emiliarowan]

Ummm...

So I almost accidentally outed myself to my dad (who is twice divorced and single) because I told him not to “u-haul after the third date” and I forgot that “uhauling” is a phrase used my lesbians and not the straight community so he didn’t know what I meant and I had to cover and thank goodness he’s not pop-culture savvy enough to know or to look it up.

I turn 28 tomorrow. It took me until 27 to realize that I’m bi because my community and family are so homophobic. So I’m definitely not out to them and not really ready to be so... yeah.

[i-okamie]

Gay invasion

So I was sitting at home with my mom watching some trailer on TV and we were talking about the actors. I said 'This dude doesn't look that great, especially when paired with such a beautiful actress', and my mom replied with 'Well I don't really pay attention to the actresses you know...' The only thing I could think of to say in response was 'Speak for yourself... you're missing something here', and my mom just looked at me really strange that is the story of how I almost outed myself to my family.

[wlwcloset]

Me, a useless lesbian: Where's Luke?

Straight friend: He was looking for the spare sheet music, I think he's in the closet.

Me: *under my breath* Just like me!

Friend: *gives me a weird look*

Me: *heavy breathing*

[ambrosialeemorganja]

Wedding coordinator: how long have you guys been together?

Me: seven and a half years

Wedding coordinator: oh, you’re basically already married then! Just gotta watch out for that seven year itch! Lolololol

My brain: HAHA jokes on you because we already scratched that itch!

Me to my brain: noooo shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up do NOT out yourself in front of you and your fiancés entire family!

Me in reality: haha... we’ll be sure to watch out for that... haha😬

[wlwcloset]

Honestly though, sometimes staying in the closet is really easy because your parents are so uninvested in your life. But then it’s just like wow that’s a really great joke opportunity!!! And then bam you nearly out yourself because jokes.

[onebigshodown]

So I almost puted myself today...

On the way home from Canada we were talking about Bob Ross for aome reason and my brother said "After he got out of the military he promised never to yell again", and I said "I need to get me a man like that." But no one heard and the convo kept going.