okay i sat down to watch heated rivalry again and in the middle got sidetracked by the show boots on netflix. it was so entertaining i ended up watching all 8 episodes in a row, and I NEED to get my thoughts out!
spoilers under the cut
first off, it's a good show. it clearly points out several systemic flaws in the military while also overall highlighting the good people in it, and I have my feelings about /that/, but overall it's a great story, it's well written, it has interesting characters with depth and a lot of heart!
I could say it has great commentary on queerness and masculinity and the sort of hyper-masculine, patriotic environment that the military can be, but that's been said before. what I wanted to focus on is how I felt about the ending.
it's painted as a happy ending, our protagonist cameron has against all odds and expectations, survived boot camp to become a marine, even with the last minute twist of him being underage. I can say I was truly surprised by his choice to get his mother to sign the waiver. I felt like sullivans entire arc and story that we learned, and the parts of it cameron got to see, would all lead up to him TAKING the out offered by his mom.
cameron's motivation in joining the marines was to become stronger, and learn to stand up for himself and protect himself in the world he'd always known. and he did that, by the end of bootcamp he has grown and learned and is so much more confident and focused and strong (he feels).
but sullivan's story shows us where that leads. he can enjoy the brotherhood and the sense of purpose and strength, but it DOES come at a great cost. a constant fear, living in survival mode. going as far as getting the man you love arrested, however unintentionally. never being truly free. knowing that if any of your so-called brothers knew the truth they'd shun you. you'd be kicked out or arrested.
sullivan is the golden boy, he has all the medals and the tours and blah blah and he's still gay, which invalidates everything else. years of living like that lead him to spiral. and, this is the likely future for cameron as well. sure the ending of the story is triumphant and he's embraced and respected by his peers now.
but those same peers have been throwing slurs around the entirety of boot camp. with the exception of ray, there's no guarantee any of them will not turn out like maitra. i was convinced seeing sullivans story play out was going to lead to cameron recognizing his own future staring back at him, and take the way out offered by his mother.
but he doesn't. he chooses to stay. and so as the show ended I couldn't help but feel conflicted and apprehensive for our protagonist. to me, this didn't feel like a happy ending, it felt like the continuation of the cycle of loneliness and secrecy and fear that Sullivan only escaped by sabotaging his life.
no matter how cameron felt in that moment I was scared for him. I don't know what the timeline of the books is, and I know the show is based on real experiences people had, but I just wanted to share how I felt about the ending. especially cause I read about people calling it sweet and feelgood. it had a lot of those moments and amazing characters! but to me, the ending is anything but.
devastated that it's been cancelled after the first season, and we won't ever get to see the future of these characters, but I think it was a fantastic season and the story wrapped quite well.