Feb 6, 2017
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Left: unused -- Right: in-game
Most storybooks have a larger version in the game files that go unused. The larger version of Amanda’s Diary, on the other hand, is done in black pen compared to the colorized, blue ink version in-game.
FEELINGS...what are feelings?!?
The Urban Dictionary states that feelings are "an emotional state." everyone has feelings whether we'd like to believe so or not. we have happy feelings. sad feelings. love feelings. good feelings. butterfly feeling. heartbreak feelings. bad feelings. angry feelings. hurt feelings, and many many more... some times we bottle our feelings up and pretend they don't exist and hope they will one day go away, but the truth is... those feelings are never going to go away, and those feelings are there.. and they are there to stay until you talk to someone (a close friend or a councular), write them out, scream in a pillow, cry them out. i use that one a lot.. i will 100% fully admit it that i cry my feelings out more then 80% of the time. they say... "people cry not because they are weak, but because they have been strong for to long" I believe it, i also believe that i am a very over sensitive person, i'm still learning to get my thick skin, will i ever?! who knows.. they say "sensitive people should be treasured.. they love deeply & think deeply about life. they are loyal, honest, and true. the simple things sometimes mean the most to them. they don't need to chance or harden. their purity makes them who they are," i feel that quote explains me 100% i may be overly sensitive and cry at the littlest of things... but that is me, that is who i am, and i wouldn't want to change who i am for anything. i have a family that loves me and that works with me on my sensitivy... but i am who i am, & i LOVE who i am. & i am going to teach my kids to grow up and love who they are whatever it might be. God made you for you, and he doesn't throw anything your way that he knows you cant handle. so even though lately iv been bottling up my feelings, feeling down in the dumps, depressed, like giving up, like im not where i belong...the truth is, i AM i am exactly where i belong. i have a wonderful husband that would do anything for me and i have two wonderful kids.. and the three of them love mw for me, yea, there are some things i can work on in life and within myself... but who doesnt have things they can work on?? NONE of us are perfect no matter how much we want to pretend we are. so im going to pick myself up, brush off my knees and take life one day at a time because that is the best i can do, and that is what i owe to my family. because when you're a Davis anything is possible.
LOOK BITCH....
You have your “fiancé” that your apparently madly in love with, but yet your sitting here inviting MY HUSBAND to go on the field trip with y'all’s daughter and you and when he says he’s not sure he can make it but if he can’t, me as her step-mama will go you reply with “oh, she wasn't invited… I was only inviting you….”
Well look here bitch, why don’t you invite your “fiancé” instead of my husband that your still in love with and STILL trying to sabotage our relationship after three fucking years!!! We’re married, it’s not going to work or happen. You had your chance and you ruined it!! How would your “fiancé” feel if he knew you invited MY husband to go with you and try acting like a little family that your not!! Or how would he feel about ALL the lies your relationship is biased off of?!? Leave my fucking family ALONE! MY HUSBAND IS MINE!!!!!
LIFE...
has been so exhausting lately. there is legit so much going on in life right now. I am depressed. i am overwhelmed. Im extremely exhausted (from a teething baby that wont sleep at night or during the day, from running the kids to all of their events and activities) i just want time with my husband (which we leave for Vegas in two days, so i really cant complain to much there) or some freakin girl time with NO kids!!! the thing that sucks the most, is that i have absolutely no one to talk to about things that are going on in my life. no friends. no family. no shoulders to cry on or someone to just let me vent to them about my life and what is going on in it, someone to ask advice to. to share a glass of wine with. i mean i have my 7 month old to vent to, (people say just talking your problems out loud to help, but it doesnt. all he likes to do is spit and crawl away, i have my dog… but she just sleeps through the whole talk. i mean dont get me wrong, i have my husband to talk to and he is a great listener and always has been the one there for me when i needed someone, but sometimes its nice to have girl friends to talk to about your life who can relate to you. lately half the time i talk to Jaime about my problems i feel like he’s ignoring me or on his phone doing his own thing or just feels like im complaining and crying for no apparent reason… i understand that he works all day and needs his time, but i also dont see him all day and then we have two kids to feed, get in the bath, and in bed before we even begin to get time together, then he just sits there on his phine…. i mean i just want cuddles, is that to much to ask for??? i just wish i had someone, someone i was close to that i could talk to about anything and everything that is going on in my life. i mean is it normal to be feeling this way? im home all day with a baby and a dog and then when there are people here for me to talk to (husband) i feel ignored and lately lied too… i am just so beyond ready for this vacation with my husband, hopefully no phones and a lot of time together… alone time together with no kids.
Iv never been very good at this whole blog thing, iv tried a few here and there..but this is something i am hoping i can stick to this time.
This here is my beautiful family that i honestly don’t know what i would do with out. My husband on the far right, Jaime, we have been together for about three years now and he is my biggest support system. he is an office manager for an internal medicine doctor and works his butt off to make sure this family has exactly what it needs and then some, we recently got married on June 18, 2015. the day we are having our actual wedding next year, it is of course on the down low, not even out parents know.
The beautiful little girl in the middle is my step daughter Addysen, i have been in her life since she was 2.5 years old, this picture was taken on her first day of kindergarten, she is such a firecracker and so extremely full of life! i always tell her she is a dork, but i tell her its a cute thing, that its nothing bad. she’s such a crack up.
The handsome baby boy in my arms is our son. he is six months old and already full of so much personality, he is such a flirt and handful (let me tell ya!) he recently learned how to crawl and now gets into EVERYTHING!! lol
and last but not least, me on the far left. my name is Amanda, i am 24 years old and a stay at home mama to our beautiful children. before getting pregnant i was a head dental assistant for a root canal specialist.. but i worked way to many hours and promised my husband i wouldn’t let that happen when we had the baby, so i quit and got to stay home during my pregnancy and now get to stay home with out babies, i feel very lucky to be able to stay home with them and take Addysen to cheer and help with homework.
oh yes, we also have a dog! she is such a pain, but we all love her to death. her name is Shae dog, she is pit and lab mix and the most gentle dog ever with the kiddos. her and the baby are best friends, they lay on the ground together and just hang out. Ashton will pull on her face and ears and she just lays there and licks him. the vet told us that she thinks he is her baby because while i was pregnant she hit her first heat cycle. when baby boy was born she even created her own milk, was the craziest thing ever. but she is so sweet to him if he cries she runs and gets us or you ask her where her baby is and she will go to wherever he is, its the cutest thing ever.
well, thats it for now.. just a little bit about my little happy family. if you would like to know more please feel free to ask, i am always looking for some more mama friends, or dad friends as well.