fatui male harbingers smut headcanons w f!reader , ranked from highest to lowest stamina (headcanon) | includes all male harbingers except pulcinella
a/n: requests are open for headcanons, mostly for fatui and nod krai cast ! send me an ask don't be shy :3 request rules are here !
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TARTAGLIA — HIGHEST STAMINA
as the youngest harbinger, there's no doubt he has the highest stamina out of the fatui men. he's very proud about it, too. he loves to fuck, and it's a surprise to no one. there'll be some days where all he wants to do is ravish you after a long day of combat and fatui affairs, while on other days he wants to take his time to fuck your brains out. sometimes it's hard to keep up with him in bed, with the way he seems to never tire. he loves every single bed activity there is: fucking, eating your pussy, fingering, playing with sex toys, having you suck his dick if you wanted it, and even anal. there is never a time he isn't in the mood to fuck; he'll take every chance he gets to spread that pussy of yours open. this man can't keep his hands to himself at all either; all he wants to do is touch you and please you. tartaglia doesn't have any shame either, he'll take you anywhere and everywhere. quickies by the training grounds, in one of the hallways of the zapolyarny palace, in a secluded spot in the northland bank, and even short makeout sessions during work. this man's hunger is never a joke, because he'll never get tired of you. either way, you'll always be in for a ride with tartaglia, as he probably won't stop until the sun comes up.
SCARAMOUCHE —
technically... he's a puppet... so do puppets really get tired? but seriously, he's definitely a freak—a bratty and cocky freak at that. he loves to degrade you while his hand is wrapped around your throat as he thrusts his cock sharply into you. he gets off to the sound of your moans and pleas, the way your pussy flutters around him with desperation and need from every thrust. scara definitely loves to tie you up too, hands bound together with your legs spread wide and your ankles shackled down so you can't move. he'll tease you, edge you, and overstimulate you until you can't take it anymore. sometimes he even uses a vibrator on you while you're tied up in that position, pressing the toy in a torturous motion against your pussy. and he's not nice about it either. he'll continue to overstimulate your clit till you're shaking and sobbing, begging for him to stop the vibrator. if he's nice enough, he'll lower the intensity, but otherwise... he'll only ramp up the speed. and when you come for the nth time that night, he'll do the honour of cleaning you up by eating your pussy, licking all your juices. and just when you think he's done with you, he comes back for another round, ready to hear your pretty moans.
DOTTORE —
having dottore as a sex partner means having a tons of other guys as your sex partners too. what i mean by that is his segments. each segment has their own level of freak, and by extension, their own level of stamina. omega definitely has the highest stamina out of the rest of the segments, followed by moonttore and primettore. prime definitely has a thing for watching his segments fuck you in front of him, it's like a guilty pleasure. he loves to watch as a segment thrusts himself balls deep inside of you while another has his cock in your mouth, and maybe another to touch and tease you while the other two work on you. moonttore is especially cruel; he'll fuck your pretty little cunt till you're full of his cum and you can't walk. sometimes dottore takes turns with his other segments to fuck you, milking your poor pussy out for the night. he fucks like a man deprived and starved, burying his cock deep inside of you until you beg for him. he's definitely the type to use a drug or aphrodisiac on you if it means you'll be extra sensitive for his cock and touch. anything to help you keep up with his desires. stamina is never a problem for dottore, because there'll always be a segment that's ready to keep your pussy full and warm.
PIERRO —
don't ever assume that his age affects his stamina in the bedroom. while yes, his stamina has definitely worn down over time, pierro knows how to fuck and satisfy their partner properly. he knows your weaknesses and your sensitive spots, and he uses them to his advantage. his knowledge definitely comes from his years of experience, and he'll use them to the fullest to satisfy you. as the director of the fatui harbingers, he's always stressed and has a lot of pent up frustration. so what better way to relieve himself than to fuck his partner? he's the type to fuck you anywhere: bent over his desk, hidden by a pillar in the halls of the zapolyarny palace, or even in the tsaritsa's throne room—as long as she isn't there, of course. pierro will give his all to satisfy you, regardless of how quick he is or where you two are. he's usually very rough with you, but can be quite gentle surprisingly. by the time he's tired, you're shaking and trembling with pleasure, down to your fourth orgasm. even though he gets worn out faster than the rest, he knows how to leave a lasting impression on your pussy.
CAPITANO —
capitano is only this low on the list purely because of how crazy the rest are. most of the time, capitano likes to take his time with you, with slow and deep thrusts and a lot of groaning. he drags out each thrust of his hips and each flick of his fingers against your clit, drawing out soft moans from your lips. he takes his time to please you, conserving his energy while satisfying you. but on days where he feels more stressed than usual, he's rough, fervent. he'll bend you over against the nearest surface, rutting himself deep inside of you till you're arching your back and seeing stars. he'll have his large hands everywhere on you—your hips, your thighs, your waist, your breasts, even your throat to choke you when he's incredibly horny. he loves to watch your expressions as he pounds into you, watching the way your chest heaves and rises sharply with each thrust. and when his body finally gives up and spills his seed inside you, you're ruined beyond comprehension. he'll carry you effortlessly to somewhere more comfortable once you two are done, and he'll make sure to ease any pain he may have caused you during his fervour.
PANTALONE — LOWEST STAMINA
pantalone is a loser. the end. jokes aside, i think pantalone definitely has a lower stamina compared to the rest of the fatui men, but not to be disappointed. he's absolutely kinky in the bedroom, often spicing up your activities with toys and gadgets. he loves to tease your pussy with a vibrator, playing with the setting while shoving a dildo in and out of your pussy. but that doesn't mean he's lazy, because he loves to touch you everywhere and anywhere his hands can reach while using the vibrator on you. fondling your breasts and ass, rubbing your thighs, marking and kissing your neck and collarbone, even fingering your pussy while the vibrator rubs on your clit. but when pantalone does actually fuck you, it's absolutely hot. he'll have his hands everywhere on you during sex, teasing your tits as he drives his cock deeper and deeper inside of you. his thrusts are sharp and rough, but they gradually get sloppier over time when his stamina begins to wane. he'll hold out long enough to see and feel you cum at least twice from his cock, watching as your juices coat his cock and wet the bed. and when he's exhausted? if you're still horny? don't worry, he's still got that vibrator and his fingers to fuck you.
By Her Majesty The Tsaritsa’s name, successor of The Belyi Tsar’s decree, a new order shall be bestowed upon you in a discrete envelope. This was no mission for the public’s eyes, yet it is supposed to be performed in utmost conviction so none could suspect otherwise – a pretend marriage, where you and your Harbinger are the grand performers. You thought this was a jest, a cruel farce by The Tsaritsa, yet her pick who plays the Innamorati of this stage was no coincidence; after all, the Archon of Love knows best.
✧ Pierro’s gaze did not falter as he received the orders. His steps were unwavering as the golden soles echoed closer towards you. He recognized your glances of tumult, yet you could not decipher any hint of disagreement on his face. Must his icy star-shaped pupils always be so indecipherable?
“I presume you have already read The Tsaritsa’s orders, my divine. We are to be wedded in a faux-union. Do not sulk so, for no mortal has the privilege of having the Cryo Archon personally officiate their vows.”
You pleaded silently in your mind, was this your prison? Or why was the Jester too calm with this conundrum? You tried to reason with him that such a pretend relationship will serve no purpose to either the Fatui or you two. Yet the Jester insisted, his figure standing tall behind you, already planning with a sharp gaze.
“If we are to perform these roles, it must be more than merely 'convincing'. Do not fret, shared residence will be arranged to the highest standard.”
A wedding ceremony was thrown, your arm linked elegantly around his. His suit is pristine white beside your matching lavish attire, snow-white petals of rose scattered above your heads. You argued that a simple civil marriage could’ve sufficed, with the signing of a certificate instead of this whole celebration. Yet standing now amongst all of Snezhnaya with a convincing smile felt like a blur of a fever dream. Your brain could barely conceive the voices of guests congratulating you, until Pierro's gloved hand lands by your waist as a foreboding reminder.
How much can one put into a pretend wedding, you pondered to yourself. Unless The Jester secretly had a masterclass in acting, why did he slide the wedding band so delicately with a reverent touch to your palms? Why would his hands slowly turn your head to place a tender kiss on your lips? Your overwhelming thoughts would be laughed off as a newlywed’s nervousness. Many awed in compassion as they saw you beside him.
“I still don't understand,” you huffed with exasperation later on, seeing how your personal clothes were placed in a shared closet with your now-husband. “If we needed to fool all of Teyvat into being wedded, wouldn't a soiree suffice? A marriage certificate, maybe? What purpose is there that we, uh, live under the same roof when no one is watching?”
“Hm? Are our private quarters not to your liking? I assumed the intricate mezzanine would've been to your fancy.”
“No, no. I'm talking about the shared bedchambers when it literally doesn't matter what we do in our privacy. This is all a pretense either way, right?”
But the Fatui Directory was busy in his own world, your reasonings echoing through his numerous plans of spoiling you as the perfect spouse; the Tsaritsa’s official approval to bless your relationship was merely a guarantee you'd carry his name in yours. After all, only he had the means to communicate with the Archon of Snezhnaya; she was merely fulfilling her part of a deal by ensuring you were promised to him.
‘I have led my Harbingers to your cause and sought out every gnosis. You know the price I seek.’
‘A deal is a deal; you have fulfilled your duty, Jester. Now go, you shall play a new role with your promised one.’
Either way, the Harbinger shook his head and smiled faintly. His arms naturally wrapped around your torso from behind:
“Ah, is my cherished already kicking me out to sleep on the couch tonight? I see you are so invested in this marriage, you are already playing a natural. Newlyweds first bickering…”
“Pierro, you're evading the subject!”
✧ Hearing hushed whispers that you are Il Capitano’s promised betrothed ushered in a newfound sense of dread. Not only to you, but to the tongue of gossipers who viewed the Captain as a mighty warrior yet an enigmatic being shrouded in shadows. How were you supposed to receive such news when the mere idea of pitch blackness behind that helmet eats at your heart like the void? You had every right to be anxious, fidgeting with the nails of your fingers. Yet when the Harbinger met you personally to talk, all fears dissipated when he spoke first:
“I… Do not wish to impose upon you. Not as an equal nor as a gentleman.” – the golden chains chimed as he bowed his head low before you, his armored hand on his chest. “I understand if this predicament is beyond our control, yet I wish no animosity or unease between us.”
His sudden words struck you silent, noticing the faintest tremor beneath his austere voice. That’s when it dawned upon you – The Captain was as nervous as you.
“No, no, I- I understand. I also wish for us to get along, even if we… if we are to play pretend.”
A tense silence ensued, as both hoped to veil the awkwardness each of you felt. Yet the two of you stood, like timid sweethearts anchored by their mutual apprehension, with glances that dared not meet and instead finding solace in the view of the ground.
“May I ask then,” – you ventured softly. “Have you ever wished to be in such a relationship? I do not wish to assume, but I thought a Captain of your renown is far too busy to concern himself with a marital status.”
A quiet sigh escaped the Harbinger, a subtle shift in his shoulders let him ease up, yet his voice still carried that solemn might:
“I may be a Captain first and foremost, yet I was once a man like any other. It's not that I seek to intimidate others, nor do I deem closeness a weakness. But rather, I fear imposing my duty and work into the personal life of someone dear…”
You nodded thoughtfully, “I see… this is indeed a relief. Then, perhaps if you will, we can call it off? Or perhaps find you someone more suitable?”
Your words of cordial clemency were met with an uncharacteristic silence before Il Capitano simply replied:
“... I don't regret the decision taken by the Tsaritsa.”
You blinked at him.
“Unless… you do not find me as a worthy choice, and wish for another?”
His apologetic comment does not oblige with your bafflement. How can you compete with the Captain's modesty when his words bore such unfeigned sincerity – he does not wish to foist, yet to have such an arrangement granted him by Her Majesty, The Cryo Archon, there is no man worthy enough to repay any dowry when you are the promised hand. And the countless battles he won? The numerous expeditions he carried out in the name of the Fatui, returning with tarnished armor and triumphs from foreign lands? His actions were not merely for glory; it was so that he might be the first to receive the blessing of courting you. Even if you weren't aware, he competed for the privilege.
And if he has to slay the Heavenly Principles themselves for the honor to be the first you may call husband, even for nothing more than a pretend political marriage, then he shall make the pretend stage built on meadows of Inteyvats flowers. Unfortunately for himself, he may be courageous when slaying beasts, yet timid as a school boy when talking to you, his future betrothed.
“N-no, no. Do not assume me wrong, Capi. If we play pretend, then let's make it as peaceful and easy-going for us in our future betrothal.”
“Indeed, we shall do our best.” – His hand clasped yours. “You have my word, you shall not be bothered in a forced engagement. Allow me to honor your name beside my own.”
Thus, bells tolled, and a small, modest ceremony was organized. His regal coat flowed behind his broad shoulders, while his hand securely held yours after the Captain vowed not only as a knight to protect you, but as a husband. The guests, however, were oblivious to the marriage façade forced by the Tsaritsa. Only a few Harbingers and close family were invited, and as expected, Childe shed tears of joy seeing his two favorite people being wedded, sniffing into a handkerchief.
How can anyone suspect the Captain was pretending when he saw you hurry by the steps, your crystal shoe accidentally slipping off your foot? He'd kneel without a word, tenderly slip the fallen footwear back onto you, before gathering you in his arms to carry you bridal style. A knight honored by the duty to be yours, and a newfound title he'd wear with pride whenever he is introduced as your “husband”.
“This is just an act, right, Capi?”
“Ah… apologies, I already forgot we're pretending.”
✧ You have not been the least bit troubled by the sudden demand to be in a pretend marriage with Il Dottore. Everyone knows he'll sneer and mock the Tsaritsa back if she requests such a ludicrous social theater from a Harbinger like him. A single glance at The Doctor would suffice to see that he would not indulge in such folly.
…Except he was grinning right now. Very eagerly.
“This is ideal. This is perfect. It's all coming to plan.”
You took your words back. For reasons beyond comprehension, your brilliant maniac was not calling off the marriage, and you were beyond perplexed. The mere idea sounded so obscure, you hoped that Dottore would be the one annuling this whole farce. Yet here was, with his sharp teeth grinning and hands clasped together as though a long-awaited experiment that had fallen neatly into place.
“Do you not see, my dear?” – Dottore leaned closer, his gloved hands landing on your shoulder. “We are going to play pretend, like the most stereotypical family. This is the perfect opportunity!”
“Opportunity for what?! What do we gain from this?”
“To blend in, to fool naive passerby that we are the most average couple. To study how such puny idiots settle with their fragile social constructs to find comfort in an illusory sense of belonging,” – his grin widened, “think about it, dear. The status of the Fatui will not linger upon you; from now on, you shall be wedded to a… simple, humble man. A feeble scholar, of modest means.”
Your brain blanked out. Not at the mental image of walking hand in hand with the 2nd Fatui Harbinger as two honeymooners, but at Dottore’s audacity to be excited about it. You argued and reasoned with him, claiming he could easily consult books on sociocultural relationships if he needed to collect data; this endeavor was below you two.
Yet the harbinger crossed his arms, tugging at your lack of enthusiasm. “I assumed you would be ecstatic. Or is my countenance not suitable enough to be considered “husband material” when seeing it first thing in the mornings in bed? We'll deal with the nuance later; for now, we have a new responsibility as a family.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. Before you could question his words, Dottore very casually lifted a child in his arms – the youngest segment, the perfect image of little Zandik from his days of youth, with his messy hair locks and defiant ruby eyes. He handed you the segment into your arms and unceremoniously announced:
“We now have a child. Congratulations.”
You stared at Dottore in horror.
The young kid looked less than pleased to be part of this experiment. How are you going to explain that you suddenly have a child, no older than seven, mind you, when neither of you has been seen with a child? You don't know. But you swore, should anyone dare to ask, you’d tell them that Dottore was the one pregnant.
One progress was made in this pretend marriage – the art of quarreling like a couple.
Eventually, the two of you reached an ultimatum within the newfound circumstances, treating it as a covert operation akin to a spy mission, one where a fake marital status was required. So you relented. Whenever you walked the secluded villages of Sumeru, with a child in hand and Dottore in tow, local grannies would awe at the sight of such a delightful family – ‘look at the little boy clinging to you, he's a spitting image of his father!’
Dottore huffed in uncharacteristic pridefulness. You, however, chuckled nervously, secretly planning to punch that grin off his face once night fell. But there was something else more important bugging your mind – the young segment. He was sulking and following worldlessly, forced by the Doctor into this role as a “biological child”. You kneeled by the boy and tried to drop the saccharine pretense of a parent:
“I'm sorry that Dottore has dragged you into this. I hope he wasn't a big meanie to you. I'll tell you what, let's not make this a chore for you. Let me buy you some Candied Ajilenakh Nut, hm?”
This routine persisted out of obligation, and while even the Harbinger felt out of place as your “loving husband”, he stared in curiosity as you got along with the kid. The child beamed whenever you listened to his rambling, the two of you making truce by branding Dottore “a big meanie”. One would argue you even spoiled that young segment with sweets, or often going shopping to buy beautiful stationery items for education. New notebooks, pens, and folders. He observed you helping the kid choose a lovely new backpack, adjusting the straps on his shoulders, and encouraging his earnest opinion.
Dottore didn't intervene. He didn't have it in him; instead, with a quiet hand on your waist, he paid for the shopping spree. The image of young little Zandik, perched in your arms while you let that boy have the best clothes and school items of his interest, was a contradiction to what a certain boy actually had 400 years ago. Or rather, never had. The segment may be a mirror image of him, except he never bore such a radiant smile, inspired by you.
✧ Upon receiving news of the sudden “pretend marriage” to Scaramouche, the Harbinger avoided you like the plague. He was nowhere to be seen, suddenly occupied with matters in Inazuma, never once writing to you in regards to the sudden decision. Naturally, you felt heartbroken. Not that you were surprised by his reaction. Human sentiment was not a language the Balladeer was known for.
But you hoped for his reassurance, and his silence gnawed at you. Maybe neither of you needs this imposed relationship? Why can't things stay the way you two previously were: close, untainted by false titles? You prayed he didn't despise you for the circumstances forced by the Archon.
Eventually, you were summoned to Inazuma to prepare for your own marriage. The Harbinger's best subordinates accompanied your travels as messengers and dutiful servants, bowing to the soon-to-be-wedded spouse of the 6th. Adorned in resplendent white Shiromuku, you were taken care of with utmost elegance, as the servants adjusted your sleeves. However, even they noticed the cloud of melancholy looking upon you.
“Huh? Lord Balladeer, detesting you?” – one servant gasped. “Perish the thought, the 6th has done nothing but toil to arrange the most grand ceremony for this occasion.”
“Indeed, he hurried to change even the flowers and decoration to be based on your preference, stern on each detail as always.”
You were baffled.
Yet when the day of the small ceremony dawned at last, Wisteria flowers were hung by an arch, carpeting the cobblestone floor with lilac petals to a shrine. Scaramouche awaited you by the steps, his black Hakama kimono creaseless as his porcelain skin. When his gaze finally met yours, he quietly beckoned you with his hand.
“You look exquisite, as expected,” – he murmured, his gaze not scrutinizing or distant. It was apologetic. “I'm sorry to keep you waiting, I needed some time to make prepa-”
“Scara!” – your voice echoed through the shrine courtyard, ignoring the clanking of your Geta sandals, you rushed towards him “Why didn't you tell me you were arranging all this?! Was it so hard to at least send a word, to tell me that everything is alright?”
“H-hey, hey, calm down…!”
The shrine mikos and a few Fatui subordinates exchanged awkward glances while you scolded the young groom. He was flustered, hands coming to clasp your own in a vain attempt to cease your complaining.
“I'm sorry, alright! Just do not blame me, I was as surprised at this foolish decision as you.” – he ushered you beside him with a hand holding yours, with the other wrapped around your shoulder. He could not deny, you looked beyond elegant in such a traditional wedding kimono. “I didn't wish you to think I took this occasion as a joke.”
“You mean… you're not against it?”
The young puppet held in his pride. He guided you gently by the shrine, his gaze averted in modest timidness.
“I hoped… that even if we were to feign such naive, domestic bliss, I would not be enough to give you a memorable ceremony because you were forced into this. So instead, for just this once, let me pretend to be yours like a normal human marrying his second half. Even if it's a selfish dream.”
✧ You? Married? To Pantalone, of all people? Hilarious, you thought, except it was not the first of April to spread such bizarre tricks. Yet when a close acquaintance approached you to sincerely congratulate you on the sudden announcement, you realized you were absolutely in trouble.
Was Pantalone informed by the Tsaritsa? Was he in on this? Because you prayed to the stars above, he will refrain from overdramatic reactions and-
“Ah! My sweetheart,” – he busted in, approaching you with renowned zest. “My fiancée. My darling. My beloved, adorable spouse.”
He definitely didn't overreact. His arms shamelessly wrapped around you, one hand cupping your cheek to pull you in a very much smothering kiss on your face.
“Apologies, ladies and gentlemen, I see you have heard the news,” – he casually waved a hand off to the circle of well-wishers. “Yes, indeed, we decided to make it official at last. Now, if you'll excuse yourself, my darling and I have much to discuss. Isn't that right, dear?”
That forever polished smile of his tightened the same as the hand that anchored on your shoulder. You were, without a doubt, in big trouble.
“As you can see, Her merciful Majesty The Tsaritsa expects much of us, darling.” – he explained, his hand on your back as the sight of his familiar office greeted you, welcoming one to sit on the leather armchair; free at last from prying eyes. “And a contract is a contract, as you know. We will be assigned as a married couple, an act that would surely fool those Snezhnayan elites when they see we are planning lavish celebrations. Lots of occasions for making connections.”
You crossed your arms – “I'm not playing the role of a trophy spouse for you, Pantalone.”
“Oh, so crude. You don't wish to boast your status as the fiancée of the richest man alive? You'll have everything at the tip of your fingertips, you know. I could be the trophy husband, if that pleases you more.”
You raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. Indeed, for one so young, yet so perilously business-minded, many questioned the Harbinger’s relationship status. Luckily for the Regrator’s wit, a fake but carefully picked wedding band gleamed on his right ring finger where, in Snezhnaya, such symbols of union customarily rest, accompanied by his usual profusion of tasteful ornaments. People would kill for your position today, but you refuse to let some hollow decree compel you into the charade of devotion for mere spectacle. But it appears even the Cryo Archon decided to take matters into her own hands and settle Pantalone’s status.
“And what's the catch? We can stage a wedding, smile to the crowd, then we don't have to reside or share any further space if it's just for the public eye.”
A document was slapped flat onto the table with a loud thud, Pantalone's smile never once wavering as he slid the paper closer to you.
“A contract, dear, is a contract,” – he reiterated. “The stipulations have been settled plainly for us. Or did you miss the fine print in the footnotes? This is not just upholding a public image; not for a moment can we allow suspicion to take root.”
You winced, your gaze tracing the endless jargon of the contract he presented. His words punctuate each rule: shared accommodations, shared chambers, shared life. It doesn't help that the deadline for this pretense of a marital status is “until further notice”.
Alas, this was your cruel fate. Tethered to the 9th and dragged into his orbit as if the two of you were latched by the hip. At every soirée, he introduced you proudly as his betrothed, his public affection a deliberate signal that both of you are off limits. You forced a smile. It's thankless labor to endure these social gatherings when his hands remain caressing your waist. Therefore, to catch him off guard, you resolved to reclaim the stage in your own fashion.
Amidst idle chatter with his fellow investors and guests, you decided to lean in and tenderly kiss his cheek.
Silence uncharacteristically robbed his poise. You didn't know Pantalone could make the tip of his ears redden on command. Is that even a skill one trains for?
“Dearest, don't make me a melting mess in front of our guests,” – he murmured, his frayed voice not going unnoticed before the guests that chuckled. Your simple gesture won over everyone.
“It's alright, honey, I'll show you more when we're back at home.”
Now you must see who the regrator truly was in private, when he shed his pretenses to disarm his businesslike smile. Behind his mask was another. A face mask, to be precise. He was dressed in towel robes, having just emerged from a thorough bath, his face covered in some opulent moisturizing facemask and hair wrapped in a towel.
You blinked and stifled a scoff.
“Don’t you dare laugh. Where is my kiss? You promised.”
“Wait, are you serious? I was clearly joking in front of people, Pantalone. Or is the contract now mandating obligatory kisses even in the privacy of our own home?”
“... It will be soon!”
(this is 10 pages long... Why did I do this to myself? Also, titled part I in case I get inspired for more silly scenarios.
You set their soul on fire. They burn for you and would burn everything else for you. To them, you are their ultimate end and the reason they keep going. They would protect you from among the shadows, never letting any danger come near you. If you bore hatred towards them, they would love you ten times more. Men who are full of secrets and will push you far away but pull you so close over and over again.
“May we meet again in this and every other universe my dearest.”
They see you in everything ethereal and beautiful. They admire you, observe you, all from afar. Your touch is like gold. They're afraid of that gold because nothing is permanent. One might lose even gold. As years go by, they realize loving you is so easy but they would never get to fully know that love. Sacrifices are to be made, you're too precious to be lost to them forever with time. So they long for you. Even when they are striding along their own path, they reminisce their moments with you and the thought of you is long etched inside their heart.
“Should the day ever come that we are not together, you will continue to shine like gold in my memories.”
Pierro: He says he prefers to see you in his colors, mainly blues and black. Truthfully he adores you in red. He can’t keep his hands off you when you wear red. He also buys you anything that’s red, dresses, shoes, lipstick, flowers, all because the color reminds him of you. For events he prefers you to wear jewelry with darling bright sapphires but your jewelry case is filled with too many rubies to count.
Il Capitano: He says he prefers his hair straight and unrestrained. The truth is he will fall asleep if you play with or style his long back hair. Capitano feels the most loved when you are braiding his hair or giving him a scalp massage. When he misses you he braids his hair but he starts at the nape of his neck because his big fingers can’t braid from the top of his head like you do.
Pantalone: He claims he doesn’t care what perfume you wear. This statement is partly true. During galas and social functions he tells you to wear sents that are known to be pricey but not oppressive, expensive and understated he says. However at home he loves your natural sent, with out shame he will set you on his lap and tuck his face into your neck and take a deep breath, it seems like a sigh but he really is smelling you.
Childe: He tells you he loves everything about you equally, but it’s clear that he adores your boobs the most. Ajax loves to hug you from behind and squeeze or caress your chest while hugging you and will whine and beg to let him if you deny him. He loves to burry his head in your chest after a long day. When you don’t wear a bra you can persuade him to do pretty much anything.
Scaramouche: He tells you that he doesn’t care if you learn Japanese or not. In reality his knees will buckle if you call him “anata”, after you two got married. When you speak with him in Japanese he is so much more animated and emotional. His heart swells with pride when you two speak Japanese in domestic settings. Sing to him in Japanese and he will cry and or fall asleep.
Dottore: He claims to be dominant, which he is, most of the time. He will boss anyone around and make them conform to his will, but he will burn the world for you if you wanted. You tell him to jump and he will ask how high. He will also be extra pliant if you tug on his hair a bit.
Mondstadt
Albedo: He tells you he doesn’t mind not having a “domestic” relationship. In truth he loves seeing you play with Klee. He loves when you cook for him. He loves coming home to you, if he could freeze time to stay in those homey moments he would.
Diluc: He tells everyone that he doesn’t play any instraments. However at home he will play the sweetest melodies for you on the piano. His playing is for your ears only. The only other people he will play for is your future children.
Kaeya: He promises you that he will never hurt you. However, he will bite, scratch, and suck on your skin all day every day if you let him. He adores leaving possessive marks on you as well as giving you painful pleasure, the best kind of pleasure in his book.
Venti: He claims to be chill and not possessive at all. But he will stare and scowl at people being flirty with you. He will place his hands possessively on your waist when anyone gets too close to you. He would keep you locked up at home if he could, he just could never share you with anyone.
Liyue
Baizhu: Baizhu claims to dislike your bossiness, but in fact in almost any scenario it kinda turns him on. He loves when you use him for your own pleasure. He loves when you tell him what to do to make you happy or to get you off.
Xiao: He tells you that he doesn’t want anymore people in his life. However, he truly wants a few kids of his own running about, helping him make breakfast for you every morning. The thing he wants most is a family with you.
Zhongli: Not exactly a lie but Zhongli doesn’t like you eating non home cooked food. Any food that isn’t made by someone he trusts, he won’t let you eat. However whenever you’re feeling down or kind of out of it he will order food and bring it home to make you smile.
Inazuma
Goro: He tells everyone who asks that he hates his ears and tail touched, everyone is too rough with them. On the other hand, you’re so gentile with him, when you play with his hair that he can’t help but enjoy when you gently pet his ears.
Kazuha: He will tell you that the world is inspiration. He tells you his poems stem from the sights he sees and emotions he feels as he travels. But in truth Kazuha has not written one poem without you on his mind, you have been his muse and inspiration since you met.
Ayato: He says he doesn’t mind what you wear. But he can’t help but feel happy when you wear the expensive silk sets he bought you. Silk just fits you for some reason. To him silk complements your soft skin perfectly, the smooth reflective fabric just radiants and amplifies your beauty.
Heizo: Whenever he is tired he will go on and on about how he “isn’t sleepy” or how he’s “just gonna rest his eyes.” This man is stubborn when it comes to going to bed. He just wants to spend more time with you. You might have to make him tea and scratch his back while he lays on you to get him to fall asleep without a fuss.
Thoma: He claims to be neither here or there on who cooks meals. In actuality in his brain he cries and begs for your cooking. It could be any cuisine and he will be happy. He just loves your cooking and your adoration especially after a long day of taking care of others.
Itto: Itto tells anyone and everyone that he’s married to you. He just loves you so much and fantasizes about your wedding to much sometimes he forgets you’re not actually married yet.
Sumeru
Alhaitham: He tells you that you can sleep by yourself. In reality you and him both know you can’t sleep without each other. If you’re angry with him and you sleep on the couch you two will end up making up in the night when he comes to pick you up and take you back to your shared bed.
Cyno: He claims to not get jealous often but truthfully he craves your attention and gets jealous when he doesn’t get it. He knows how his friends don’t favor his humor so he gets a little insecure when you laugh at their jokes sometimes. Just know he will be clingy behind closed doors to make up for being jealous of his own friends.
Kaveh: Everyday he tells you that he won’t overwork himself, he will take breaks today. He doesn’t, no matter how determined he is he will not take a break until you make him. On days when he’s stuck in his head you have to visit him while he’s at work or at home so he can come back down to earth here and there.
Tighnari: He will complain anyone who will listen about how he hates going into Sumeru city for one thing or another. However he will be giddy when he goes onto Sumeru City to visit you. While he doesn’t like the city, it isn’t so bad when you’re with him.
Fontaine
Lyney: He claims to love all the ways you touch him. However he does have a favorite, he loves when you scratch and massage his back. When you work through his back with your skilled hands he is a happy groaning mess. After a massage he will be like a napping pile of jello. Cuddles with a now loose muscled Lyney are so heart warming.
Neuvillette: He hates the taste of coffee, that’s a plain fact. However, he can’t help but enjoy the taste of coffee if it’s from your lips. The quick good morning kiss you give him as you sip on your coffee makes his head dizzy instead of disgusted like he normally is at the taste of coffee.
Wriothesley: He claims he doesn’t mind you going out alone or without him. Truthfully you are never actually without his surveillance. He has a tracker on your phone and he sends one of his coworkers to make sure you are always safe.
synopsis-you find yourself in an arranged marriage with a member of one of the most feared groups in teyvat. certainly they won't shed their intimidating exterior and begin to fall for you...unless?
warnings-arranged marriage, gn reader, some mentions of violence, alcohol (in arlecchino's part), some manipulation (mostly in pantalone's part), probably a bit ooc (especially for dottore lol)
pierro:
-at first he has no genuine interest in you, but he’ll still be courteous towards you for appearance’s sake. he’ll hold doors open for you, assign guards to escort you anywhere you want to go, and put his arm around you whenever you’re walking together. despite the tenderness of his gestures, it still seems like his feelings towards you are as cold as the snowy snezhnayan winter, very few things are able to sway pierro’s stoic demeanor
-in an attempt to get closer to you, he’ll take you out on walks in the middle of the night, it’s just about the only free time he gets and he likes to avoid the watchful eyes of the public. since you’re being forced to spend the rest of your days together, he figures he might as well spend some time with you. for a while you walk side by side in silence with your hand resting upon his arm as he guides you around the city, you can’t think of anything that you could discuss with the head of the fatui harbingers. one night when you’re feeling particularly bold, you ask him how his day was. pierro pauses for a moment before letting out a barely audible chuckle that rumbles out of his broad chest. he simply states that he’d rather hear about your day and says your endeavors are likely more interesting than his since he spends more time giving orders and doing paperwork than anything else. under the guise of wishing to listen to you excitedly talk about what you do with your time, pierro keeps you protected from the reality of the dirty work he finds himself caught up in as the director of the fatui (although he has come to enjoy the sound of your voice)
-you realize that he’s actually starting to become fond of you when he briefly neglects his duties to be with you. he’ll cut meetings with the harbingers short so he can visit you and allow you to come into his office while he works through mounds of diplomatic paperwork
-you’re sitting on a couch in pierro’s large office absentmindedly flipping through the pages of a book when a fatui underling stumbles in through the door with a bouquet of padisarah flowers cradled in both of his arms. the young and very obviously nervous young man stutters out something along the lines of “where is your lover’s room again, lord harbinger?” your face flushes as you glance over at pierro, who pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, “just bring them to my desk.” pierro stares down the underling as he scurries towards his desk and gently places the massive bouquet on it before swiftly making his way to the door. your eyes stay locked on pierro as his spindly fingers wrap around the flowers, grasping the carefully trimmed stems just above the pale blue ribbon tied in a bow around them. he saunters over to where you’re sitting and gently places the flowers in your arms. “i had them imported from sumeru since…” pierro’s voice trails off and your eyes widen at the thought of him feeling shy in your presence, “we got married one year ago today.” his intensely blue eyes meet your gaze after he finishes speaking. “they’re beautiful,” you smile, “thank you, pierro.” “not nearly as beautiful as you, my dear” he replies as his gloved hand gingerly cradles your face, his chilly fingers being a stark contrast to your flushing skin. the interaction leaves you unspeakably flustered and has you looking forward to many more years of being wed to pierro
capitano:
-much like pierro he’s not particularly interested in having a romantic relationship with you, but he won’t be completely cold and stoic with you like he is with other people, he doesn’t want you to be afraid of him. he also won’t really be physically affectionate, the most he’s going to do is put his arm out for you to hold while you’re walking together as he doesn’t want to lose his reputation of being a formidable and powerful harbinger
-he allows you to follow him around most days while he gives orders to fatui soldiers and meets with the other harbingers. he’ll stop to talk with you every now and then but doesn’t go out of his way to be romantic or give off the impression that your marriage is founded in the two of you being attracted to each other
-part of him finds your presence comforting, capitano hasn’t had any sort of companion in so long and being around someone that isn’t ordering him around or battling with him makes a foreign sense of warmth well up within his decaying chest. he eventually finds himself infatuated with you and the softness you bring into his life–he longs to find a way to show you he cares about you without making you uncomfortable
-one night while you’re waiting for capitano to get out of a confidential meeting with the other harbingers a couple of guards begin frisking you, asking why you’ve been lingering in the hall for so long and not taking your answer that you’re married to capitano as the truth. just as tears begin to crawl across your lashline, you feel a large, heavy hand fall onto your shoulder. as you turn around, your eyes fall upon your foreboding husband standing behind you. “are they bothering you, dearest?” capitano asks in his deep, stern voice. you nod frantically, taking the opportunity to cling onto his strong arm. the guards skitter away at the sight of one of the most powerful harbingers staring them down, not wanting to subject themselves to whatever getting on his bad side looks like. even after they leave, you remain clinging onto capitano, reveling in how protected he makes you feel. gazing down at your still shaking form, he says “i’m sorry you had to deal with them. is there anything i can do to make up for my absence, sweetheart?” the emphasis he places on the pet name has your heart fluttering, so much so that you can’t find the words to respond to his question (even though you know exactly what you want). instead of responding, you simply curl into his chest. you assume that he can tell how you feel about him from the way one of his arms wraps around your waist while his other hand gently holds the back of your head–you’re completely unaware of how long he’s been waiting to do so
dottore:
-he uses you as a lab assistant…until you make a mistake…then he just lectures you and expects you to watch and ask questions about his (evil) genius scientific process. he loves to show off and he knows that you really have no choice but to stay with him so you’ll be stuck in his lab a lot of the time watching him work (unless he’s doing one of his cruel human experiments, he spares you from the sight of those)
-it takes him forever to show any bit of warmth towards you. he’s never really cared for marriage and being wed to you is no different to him, he views forming relationships as a waste of time. however, he’ll eventually start to realize that you’re the only person whose presence he can tolerate and he curses himself for beginning to go soft. you’ve lingered around his lab for so long that he’s gotten used to your endless questions and sometimes clumsy movements, he’s even begun to find them comforting, familiar. the way that you bump into his desk and occasionally hand him the wrong test tube used to anger him, but watching you learn how to navigate his lab and what subjects interest him the most has been (as much as he hates the word) endearing
-the next time dottore beckons you to his laboratory so you can hand him samples while he works he finds the tips of his ears burning every time your hands come close to his. he huffs under his breath, infuriated that his body is subjecting him to such trivial, juvenile emotions. you notice the change in his demeanor and ask him if he’s feeling alright to which he frustratedly throws his hands against his desk, sighing deeply before motioning for you to come closer to him. hesitantly, you approach him, even after knowing each other for a while his anger still intimidates you. the moment you look up at him he presses his lips against yours. his kiss is fleeting, more so his lips briefly coming into contact with yours than an actual kiss–it ends before you can fully process what’s happening. he can’t help but smile crookedly at the sight of your face heating up just as his did moments earlier. “fascinating,” he mutters, “so you have begun to fall for me.” your cheeks flush as dottore speaks, the way that he talks about your feelings so clinically like you’re one of his experiments makes you feel embarrassed for having a physical reaction to his kiss. before you can muster a half-hearted excuse, he turns and walks away, calling out “i’ll see you after i’m done working, darling” in a condescending tone as he wanders to another part of the lab. you take it as a cue to go back to your room and contemplate what your relationship with dottore has evolved into
arlecchino:
-she is extremely cold towards you for a while, she sees your marriage as nothing more than a legal union and doesn’t really care to pay attention to you. she won’t be rude to you when you’re together, but she believes she has more important things to do than form any sort of relationship with you. most of the time you spend with her is at political events where the two of you are expected to make an appearance together and whenever you happen to run into her in snezhnaya
-arlecchino tends to keep her distance from you–she doesn’t want you to distract her from her work and also thinks you deserve to be protected from the dangerous fatui business that you didn’t ask to be a part of.
-after you’ve been married for a while she takes you with her whenever she visits the house of the hearth because the children keep asking about you and desperately want to meet the person who father married (that and she doesn’t have to worry about protecting you from the other harbingers while you’re in fontaine). the first time you visit you’re greeted with a chorus of “oos” and “ahs” from the children crowding around you who marvel at the sight of arlecchino’s supposed lover. she can’t help but grin ever so slightly at the sight of you reading to and playing with the children she cares about so much
-while you’re in fontaine together she takes you on a date at hotel debord. you’re surprised and somewhat intimidated by the invitation, but also afraid of what will happen if you turn her down. she reserves a private table for the two of you on the second floor and orders a bottle of champagne that you can tell cost a few thousand mora just from the intricate design on the golden glass bottle. the two of you spend the evening talking, arlecchino seems much more willing to open up to you outside of the harsh environment of the fatui’s headquarters in snezhnaya. she tells stories about her travels and leaves out the gruesome details, her face flushes when you stare at her, your eyes sparkling as you compliment her strength. towards the end of your date she looks at you and says “we should do this more often.” it’s the softest you’ve ever heard her usually monotone voice sound, and you can’t help but agree with her
signora:
-she treats you like you’re her new pet kitten–like you’re a plaything for her to show off. she’s not exactly romantic or affectionate with you behind closed doors but in public she’ll flaunt your relationship to whoever’s willing to listen. she tells all of the other harbingers about how perfect you are and is all over you whenever you’re out together, she loves to wrap her arm around your shoulders and keep you as close to her as humanly possible so everyone can see that a lovely little thing like you is hers
-signora doesn’t spend much time with you in private but she loves to take you out on dates and be as flashy as possible. she’ll buy you expensive custom made clothes and make your outings as much of a spectacle as she can. she loves watching reporters attempt to subtly follow the two of you and obtain information regarding your relationship while she parades you around as if you’re a priceless piece of jewelry
-whenever you’re not around signora does find herself feeling lonely. her attitude causes most of the other harbingers to keep their distance from her so you’re really the only person she has to talk to and she finds herself wanting to get closer to you. however, she has no clue how to approach you romantically without scaring you off or being too bold or embarrassing herself so she just waits for an opportunity to do so to naturally present itself
-one day you return from an outing with a few fatui skirmishers somewhat beaten up after getting a little too close during their encounter with a frostarm lawachurl. upon seeing the state you’re in, signora scolds the entire group, going on about how someone closely associated with one of the harbingers should never be put in such a dangerous situation and how the skirmishers should feel lucky that she’s not ending them right then and there, all while caging you in her protective embrace. you assume that her touch is purely for show, but even when the two of you are alone she keeps her arms wrapped around you, gently running her hands over your scrapes and bruises. you can’t help but avoid making eye contact with her, you’re not used to signora being so genuinely affectionate with you. “you must be more careful,” she says, her typical cocky demeanor softening, “you are very precious to me.” her admission makes you hide your face in the crook of her neck, to which she chuckles softly. you would have never expected it, but signora’s grand displays of affection for you were starting to become genuine
pantalone:
-he doesn’t really bother to spend time with you, he instead chooses to commemorate your marriage by presenting you with an abundance of expensive gifts (include your massive, glimmering wedding ring that was custom made for you using the finest diamonds in teyvat, which everyone you encounter can’t help but stare at). almost every week you’ll find a new luxury item in your room–handbags, fur coats, perfume, jewelry–anything that pantalone thinks will keep you from demanding a divorce. he’s a busy man so it’s easier for him to perpetuate the illusion of you two being married by gifting you items that only his unfathomable wealth could come close to affording
-after a few of the harbingers begin teasing him for never bringing you around, pantalone keeps you by his side as if you’re some sort of luxurious accessory, hoping that he can use your marriage as another means to get whatever he wants. he’ll expect you to follow him around as he works and look expensive and intimidating just as he does. on top of that, he’ll sometimes treat you as his secretary, giving you the same condescending smile he gives everyone else as he asks you to bring files to his office or to deliver a message to someone
-although he would never admit that he’s falling for you, pantalone relies on you a lot. the small things that you do for him add up and make his hectic work life slightly less busy. pantalone begins to associate your presence with tranquility, like a beacon of gentleness in the ruthless sphere of fatui business. you never frustrate him like many other people do, you just walk alongside him and occasionally ask if there’s anything you can do to help him, something that he doesn’t realize he appreciates until he really thinks about it. although his first instinct is to repay you with material goods, he begins to realize that actually acting like your husband would likely be a more efficient way to keep you happy (and would make it easier for him to get what he wants from you in the future)
-while you’re carrying a large pile of papers down one of the massive corridors of the zapolyarny palace a fatui diplomat bumps into you, causing the pages in your arms to fly out of your grasp and scatter across the floor. “watch where you’re going,” he hisses as you scramble to gather the files that pantalone had entrusted you with. a moment later you hear a voice from behind you. “how about you watch how you’re speaking to a harbinger’s lover” pantalone chides at the other man who’s still standing a few steps away from you. the man can barely muster an apology as he tries to fearfully scurry away from pantalone’s intimidating stare. you gaze up at your purple-eyed husband who, much to your surprise, kneels alongside you on the floor and helps you gather the files you dropped. he then stands and takes the pile from you before cupping your face with his empty hand, the metal of the many rings adorning his fingers is chilly against your skin. “no one will ever speak to you like that again while you’re with me, my little gem,” he says in an unfamiliarly sweet tone. you can only focus on keeping your mouth from dropping open in surprise as pantalone offers his hand for you to hold while the two of you walk together so he can show everyone that you’re his
childe:
-really the only harbinger that acts like you’re actually a married couple. he introduces you to his family, showers you with gifts, and goes out of his way to spend time with you (he loves ice skating/fishing with you and telling you stories alongside his siblings). half the time you’ll forget that you didn’t actually choose to marry him, anyone who observed the two of you together would be convinced you’ve been in love for years
-childe knew it would only be a matter of time before he began to fall for you, from the second he saw you he thought you were beautiful, not tainted by violence and abyssal energy like he is. although he can be quite cocky, he’s still a bit nervous that his feelings aren’t mutual. you’re one of the few people outside of his family who’s shown him kindness and he doesn’t want to ruin what he has with you
-he goes all out when he plans to tell you how he feels about you. he takes you to liyue for lantern rite and buys you lavish jade jewelry and trinkets, accompanies you to any festivity you want to partake in, and gets the two of you a hotel room with a perfect view of the lantern release and fireworks. as you stand on the balcony watching the sunset he wraps his arms around you from behind. blood rushes to your face, you’re not used to childe being overt with his displays of affection. as you tilt your head to look at him he mutters “is this ok?” shyly, you nod, falling further into him as you realize how at home you feel in his arms, how you don’t want the warm, safe feelings he invokes in you to ever end. from that night on you found yourself feeling closer than ever to childe, the man that you could get used to calling your husband
݁(except maybe— if they were dying. Or worse, you.)݁
— Just a small note: this post was written with a gn!reader in mind. The “girlhood” line in Signora’s part is metaphorical—symbolic of vulnerability, seen through her lens—not meant to imply or specify anything about the reader! My apologies for not clarifying sooner. Take care, and thank you sm for reading ‹𝟹
✦Pierro
''You remind me of the human I buried to survive.''
You remind him of something sun-warmed and pure. If the gods had been kinder, you were someone he could drink tea with in a sunlit herbarium. If he had met you before he lost everything, he might've asked you to become a part of it.
He watches you with the same bitterness of a man who once begged the stars and got nothing back
✦Capitano
''....''
Honor is everything to a man like him but you've smiled and for the first time, he wondered losing an army for a flicker of light was such a tragedy. No one will know. He will take that silence to grave, strapped in armor.
✦Dottore
"I’ve recreated your nervous system in glass and broken it seventy-two times. Still not enough."
He dissected every kindness you gave him and labeled it ‘contamination.’ He’ll never say it, but he studies you like an unexpected variable.
He has your laugh recorded. Reversed. Slowed. Studied. He plays it at midnight. You sounded like a child, once.
✦Columbina
''I am alone but not with you''
She wants to take you and put it in her pocket; folded and touched shut like a charm before a massacre.
From the places she's usually perched on, everyone below looks like insects. So she wants to keep you forever—in case the war forgets to.
✦Arlecchino
''I don't think I know how to keep people without owning them''
She's scared to treat you different than others, even if you'll never hear her say it. Because admitting means guilt, and guilt means you're not just another dog she picked off the street. Because domestication is just another kind of leash.
She still hides small bottles of poison between your perfumes. Maybe that's love, in her language.
✦Pulcinella
''I like how you're too old to be this naive. Foolish child''
He wants to scare you. Because if you're afraid, it means you’re wise.
If you’re smart, you’ll stay close. And if you’re close… Well… You’ll learn that sometimes, monsters teach you how to survive—by making you survive them.
✦Scaramouche
''If I had a heart, I'd rip it out and serve it on your plate. Or press your ear against my chest so you can listen to it beat for you.''
His tongue is venom and he speaks in curses and snarled comments. No one likes him for it. But his greatest wish is for you to come back; still smiling, hair wet and your hands cupping his after the storm passes. As if there is something human in him to hold.
✦Sandrone
''I envy the dolls. They get to be held by you''
She speaks your name with the same mouth that bit your wrist red. She watches you laugh and wonders if she could peel your joy off your skin and wear it like a coat—just for a moment. Just to see if it fits.
Every time you speak without being asked, she pictures tuning your vocal cords out of existence but leaving your hands untouched. If she sighs around you, don't mistake it for exhaustion— it’s restraint.
✦La Signora
“You remind me of myself before I realized softness is a liability.”
Rosalyne would never say it aloud, but she sees her younger self in the way you linger in doorways, one foot in girlhood, waiting for approval. She almost warns you to run. But saints and women die first. And you're too good at lingering in doorways.
✦Pantalone
“I was afraid you’d look at me like everyone else does. So I made sure you looked up to me instead.”
He made you depend on him. It was easier than being vulnerable. He wanted to see gratitude in your eyes, not judgment. So he bought your silence, your presence and your shampoo— if you smelled like comfort, maybe you’d feel it. Maybe you’d forget to look at him long enough to see the fear.
He didn’t mean to buy your love.
But now that's his, he polishes it daily.
✦Childe
“I worship The Tsaritsa, but I dream of you.”
He hopes you never see the parts of him that enjoy the killing, not just the chase. He’s covered in mud, not blood; and he's quiet because there were more toy orders than usual, not because he had to walk through children to kill the father. It's what he tells himself.
