#amandaanarchyy

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It would be nice if my important emails got answered. 

I mean it's not like I'm in marketing and rely on consistent and effective communication. Nope. Not like that at all. 

Ughhhhhhhhhhhh. 

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Now I want a new theme. Thanks a lot, Mandy.

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Thoughts on Queen Gertrude.

This has been floating around in my brain for quite a while and I've got a lot to say about her. I find her the most fascinating character from Hamlet to look at.

I think that Gertrude was once the most beautiful woman in Denmark.

King Hamlet fell in love with her, and she with him, and when they married, all of Denmark was jubilant. They now had a young, beautiful, loving queen who was the pride and joy of the country. She cared for them. She loved and protected them, and she and King Hamlet ruled together and Denmark prospered like never before. Everyone loved her.

As did Claudius.

He had always been jealous, Claudius had. His brother had the seat of power, he had the kingship. And he had Gertrude. 

There's always the question of why Claudius would murder his brother. I choose to believe that it wasn't primarily because he wanted to be king. It was for her. For Gertrude. The kingship was an added bonus. 

Gertrude had no choice. If she wanted to keep her life, save her son, make sure her country never truly fell into Claudius's corrupt hands, she had no choice but to marry him. Just being near him quenches her insides. He repulses her. She knows what he's done, and she knows why he did it.

It kills her. Knowing the love of her life is dead. Her country is ready to fall into ruin. Her son, going mad before her eyes. Because of her. Because Claudius wanted her and stopped at nothing to get her.

He's forcing her to give him a son. He needs someone to inherit the throne once he's gotten rid of Hamlet. But she can't even look at him. He looks so much like his brother. Like her son.

She knows Hamlet feels betrayed by her. He used to love her so much when he was a child. It's just another stab to her already shattered heart. Her son, her only joy, the last reminder of her beloved husband thinks she is cold and uncaring. That she enjoys this, that she never loved King Hamlet. But he's why she hasn't killed herself yet. She has no reason to live, not one. Except for her country. Except for Hamlet.

And Ophelia. She sees so much of herself in Ophelia. Young, beautiful, in love with a wild, passionate prince. But Gertrude's love made her whole. Ophelia's poisons her, and it breaks Gertrude's heart to see it. It makes her think Hamlet has more of his uncle in him than his father.

No one looks at her anymore. She is no longer admired, and beloved. Even to Claudius, she is a possession, not a lover.

So maybe she's grateful when she realizes she's been poisoned. She's lost Hamlet's love completely, her beautiful son has gone mad. Ophelia is dead. Claudius hangs over her like a dark shadow, slowly killing her. And then the poison is just the final blow.

Gertrude was once the most beautiful woman in Denmark.

Now she is the most broken. 

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Lunch with Mandy and pretty much all we talked about was motivations and inner thoughts of all the characters in Hamlet.

It was awesome. 

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Dear Mandy,

I went to graduation today and I couldn't find you afterwards and it made me really upset. So, naturally, I write you a letter on the internet.

Mandy, you are one of the very best and greatest friends I could ever ask for. You are beautiful and smart and funny and so, so kind. I remember when we were in Tom Sawyer and our friendship was still relatively new, and you listened to all my problems and gave me advice and told me I was right and they were all stupid and you've had my back ever since. 

School hasn't been easy for you, I know. But I've never heard you complain about how much you hate it and how horrible it is and how you wish you could be anywhere but here. You've never done that, and this year you worked your ass off and this morning I saw you walk across the stage and get your diploma and it was wonderful.

I'm glad you aren't truly leaving, because I don't know what I'd do without you. It's already going to be hard enough without you practically attached to me whenever I look for a job to do in drama. Or during rehearsal. I'm going to miss you so much.

I'm even probably going to miss you storing your ipod in your shirt. 

So now you have to visit at least twice a week and you have to come see me in Hamlet/R&J and whichever one I end up being in you have to see more than you see the other one because I say so and you have to go to lunch with me over the summer because I realized what it would be like without you during senior finals week and I didn't like it at all. 

I don't know if I've said this yet, but....I'm so proud of you.

All the love I could possibly give,

Dania

P.S. ( I may miss you, but Mrs. Beveridge still wants you back on the maggot farm)

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Special Project #2!

My theatre department now has a tumblr that is set up, run, and managed by yours truly <3

This is something i'm really excited about and proud of because I've worked pretty hard on it. At the moment it has very little content, but the pages for the two most recent shows are up and complete with some pretty cool stuff!

I've got exactly a year left with this department, so this is going to be my special project and my baby for the next year and I'm really happy that it's a thing that exists. 

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hey Mandy remember that time Reduced Shakespeare Company did Hamlet and then puppets happened.

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Making dinner with my parents

My Dad: You could put lettuce in it.

Me: Lettuce makes you pregnant.