#amara personal

[hazel-the-librarian]

I'm probably going to be a bit snarker for the next few days. Have a few family issues and I apologize in advance for anything though I'm actively trying to stay on top of it.

Thank you to everyone who knows what's going on and all your kind words I really appreciate yall.

[hazel-the-librarian]

Just noticed the rose on your profile pic. Crazy For You? I've got two in my front garden watching of the house.

Actually it's a 4th of july climbing rose it has thicker bands of red than a crazy for you and is almost always asymmetrical there are some petals that are completely red unlike crazy for you where almost all the petals are variegated Red and white with out sold petal colors 4th of july also have fewer petals over all, on top of doing well on trellises.

I'm a bit of a rose nut.

😅

[hazel-the-librarian]

The reality of living in a food desert in the middle of pandemic when you're a single parent.

you have to go two hours and any directions in order to go get groceries and nobody to keep your kid so you can go in because when your kid is under 2 and they're not requiring people under 2 to wear a mask.

I get it it's for health reasons that it's not as easy for them to get oxygen but they're just as likely to catch the virus and pass it on to somebody else all that means is that a single parent with a child under 2 years old can't go into a store and isn't really welcome out in the public right now.

but I have a small mom-and-pop restaurant just down the road owned by people that have known me since I was born.

I mentioned in conversation once my issues with getting groceries and the next thing you know not only am having bags of fruit and vegetables dropped at my door you're also having meals randomly dropped by.

Gosh I love my community.

Supporting small businesses is so much more then just taking money away from Big corporations it's reigniting the soul of a community. It's having genuine compassion for the people around you and trying to take care of them and then try to take care of you in turn.

[amaradarkmoon]

I can sense you wishing ill on me. I can see the shady shit your doing. And hell yeah I’m doing something about it.

[amaradarkmoon]

I’m dreading work so bad right now because I have to work a position I HATE because everyone is on vacation. Luckily, my job is great about honoring availability and I’m off the next three days to do my other work that I enjoy SO much more 

[amaradarkmoon]

I have a dr appointment finally to get referred to a psychologist. I need to get back on my meds cause these past 4 yrs have been absolute hell. So grateful to have finally found resources I can afford. I'm so happy I'll maybe get to feel normal and not just waste away in depression and anxiety.

[amara-darkmoon]

You know.. I also want to take the time to express how grateful I am for my practice.

Getting through this divorce is hell and the process is far from over. But my practice is a reminder of how I can do something about it. Divination can help reassure me and provide useful advice and wisdom, I can make spell jars for where I’m currently staying to help with the mood/atmosphere cause I know my depression and sadness has got to be putting a damper on things right about now, and when I’m ready (which won’t be for a looooong time, I can already tell) I can use spell work to help lead me to new love. I 

Knowing this helps me so much.

[amara-darkmoon]

I had a nice little tarot reading this morning.

I used the Feeling Better spread. I can’t remember where I saw it, pretty sure it’s in my tarot tag somewhere. I’ll be sure to provide a source later when I find it. Going through with leaving an abusive, toxic relationship has been liberating but also very sad and draining. My tarot cards helped pick me back up a little(:

Pretty much it let me know that I have the moral high ground and if I stand strong victory will be mine eventually. This is so nice to know especially since relationships like the one I was in have a way of making you feel guilty and like everything was your fault. Like maybe you should have changed or stopped being such a baby. But seven of wands told me otherwise.

It also showed me that I had a whole new me to manifest and reminded me that I can now dream and chase my dreams e before I was restricted. 

So I’m going to keep moving forward and continuing my life that is far from over despite how I may feel atm.