Her name was Iris
Her name was Iris. She was your average twenty-something software developer. Well, average except every cell in her body was programmable by top secret technology. Kind of like 3D printing, only much faster, and more personal. This software was engineered to receive text input and output what it determined to be perfection, to every cell in her body, in realtime. So she was literally twenty-something, no older, no younger .. because the software determined this was the perfect age to be. everything was a further test used to acquire further perfection. She could enter a few words into her mobile device any time to make quick improvements, or to switch from one version of herself to another.
His name was Nick. He was 29. He was also pretty average, no automated perfection engine involved. He was just looking for a way to kill the boredom of the Easter long weekend. He somehow lined up eight blind dates within five days with girls he met online. He felt a little unsure if meeting eight different girls within five days was a good idea, but a few drinks later he was ok with it. What Nick didn’t realise was, Iris had hacked tinder so every time he swiped left or right on his device… a new version of IRIS would show up in his results, each time, looking more perfect than before, with a slightly more perfect personality. All of these variations were saved for later. Stored within her mobile device, accessible anytime. She could be any one of these different women within a moment. She just had to type a few words and her body’s cells would rearrange, her personality would slightly change, even her clothes were made up of programmable material.
So they went on a few dates. Nick had coffee with a redhead named Frankie. The next day he had lunch with a dark haired woman named Rachael, then later that same day found himself out at a nightclub with an Asian woman whose name he couldn’t seem to pronounce correctly no matter how many times he tried. For Nick, keeping track of all these different girls he had planned to meet and trying to remember the brief conversations they had had a night before online was a challenge. For Iris, it was simple, she selected one of the versions of herself available, the software rearranged her cells, and she continued.
On each date, beneath the surface, Iris got to know Nick. tested him, tested herself against his conversations, his awkward glances and his likelihood to ever call or text this version of herself back after the date was over. In the background beneath Iris’s actual thoughts, the computer program ran its own tests, made its own measurements and made adjustments to the next version of Iris to be tested. Always seeking perfection.
On one date, Nick and Iris spoke to each other as if they were secret agents, even though they were just texting each other on the way to meet for a Movie. On another, they got incredibly lost trying to find a theatre in Iris’s car, because she had decided to drive, and Nick is pretty much the worst at helping someone navigate from the passenger seat. During the last date, Nick brought Iris (this time a blonde named Kate) to the same bar he’d taken Iris on their second date a few days earlier. The first time around she was Rachael. The same bartender was there, unimpressed by Nick showing up more than once with some new woman he barely knows from Tinder. Nick thinks back for a moment and wonders why he’s returned to this bar. the utter nonsense of getting mixed up in such a ridiculous situation as juggling eight dates in less than eight days catching up to him and stopping him in his tracks. “Kate, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve got to make a quick phone call.” Said Nick as he placed his phone just out of view and selected Rachael from his contacts.
He stepped outside the bar for a moment to make the call. As Iris’s phone received the call it vibrated and various subroutines in the software acknowledged the selection of Rachael as as factor in the perfection engines calculations. Iris breathed deeply. Her entire body ready to edit itself from one version to another at a moments notice, she replied to the call with a text message instead of answering. “I’m not free to chat right now” Nick doesn’t leave a voicemail, he hates leaving voicemails. He replies to the text. “I just wanted to say I really had fun getting to know you the other night. I was wondering if you’d like to do it again sometime.”
Without waiting for a reply Nick begins deleting the other contacts from his phone, Guilt flooding his senses as he tries to think of some excuse to use to get out of his current date. He can’t think of anything, he considers just walking away. He vows to get less drunk, to make wise choices, he realises he’s been outside for ages and starts walking back to find Kate. The text message in Iris’s phone is inputted directly into her software’s perfection engine. The version of herself known as Rachael is restored from backup, small improvements and optimisations based on recent conversations are applied. Rachael waits silently out of sight as Iris displays Kate to the outside world with every cell in her body. Nick returns from outside looking embarrassed.
“I’ve got to go. I’m really sorry.” Said Nick.
“It’s ok, it was nice to meet you.” Said Kate. Nick walked towards the train station.
What was this lost weekend of blind dates for. What purpose did it serve. It’s like some sort of test, and he thought he might have failed.
A message from Rachael appears a moment later on Nicks Phone.
“I’d love to see you again, let me know when you are free”
