god i fucking hate gender.
It's this whole system of socially codified power moves. And ways of expressing relational posturing and social domains of control that's treated as if it's this totally sophisticated and subtle thing, really civilized and gracious and shit
Except sometimes you step wrong and land in the wrong Gender Mediated Social Position, and people spring this total saw trap of power dynamic behavior on you
and you're like what the fuck I am just walking here. Why is your gender booby trap situation my problem! Why are you trying to put me in my place in a ranking I am making every effort not to participate in!
But in gendered society participation in the gender dance is non-optional! You gotta keep up with the steps or people will absolutely plow you over and make it your fault for not dodging! You don't get to opt out!