Your Teeth In My Neck (Fucking Sucks)
"Whatever. We're getting off topic." Vox waved his hand. Alastor gave a mocking tilt of his head, his arms spread wide as if to implore Vox to speak. "So last time we fucked, it was good, real good. Except for the part where you ripped out my carotid artery and had a little snack while I cauterized the fucking chunk missing from my neck." Alastor's smile widened. "Yes, I remember." He swirled his wine. "Your arteries have such a unique flavor. Not nearly as chewy either because of your mechanical kidneys!" Vox leveled a glare at Alastor but the other simply smiled larger. "Yeah. So, then I was thinking over all the times you've deigned to sully yourself with me and I noticed a pattern. You-" Vox pointed a finger at Alastor's chest. "Are a fucking biter."
Ever since Vox had lifted the wards on Vee Tower, Alastor had decided that-to use some of the Spanish Val had taught him-Vox's casa was his casa. Nowadays, he could often find Alastor lounging on his couch in the evening or rummaging through his record collection with an expensive vintage in hand.
It wasn't with any sort of rhyme or reason that Alastor visited, as always, he was a creature powered by whims and boredom. Sure, he was cunning and calculating and all that, but at his core, Alastor was a thrillseeker and a little shit.
So he loved showing up unannounced and ruining Vox's evening plans. Granted, sometimes he greatly improved the trajectory of Vox's evening (who wouldn't say yes to getting some pussy?) but generally he came over to be a nuisance and enjoy Vox's company.
Tonight was no different as the voice of Ella Fitzgerald greeted Vox when he stepped inside his penthouse. Alastor had taken up residence on his couch and was lazily conducting the music with one hand while the other held open a book. A glass of merlot sat next to him on the side table. No coaster in sight, the fucking bastard. It was like he knew that Vox had had that table imported from Earth.
"Hey." Vox greeted. He toed off his oxfords and tossed his wallet into the little rhinestone dish Val had gotten for him last Hellmas.
"Evening." Alastor replied. He turned a page and kept reading. Vox rolled his eyes fondly at the other's antics. Alastor loved to play little games like, pretend to ignore the man you came to see, and I'm God's gift to demonkind and you're just a lowly sinner-why would I pay you any attention? Too bad that Vox saw right through his fake ass.
He made his way to the kitchen and began to unpack the takeout he'd bought from its bags.
"Hope you're hungry. I bought sushi." He called out.
Alastor's nose twitched as he took in the smells emanating from the bags.
"Did you buy the-"
"The Envy ring sashimi? Yeah, I did." Vox pulled the container out and shook it for emphasis.
Alastor raised his eyebrows, unimpressed.
"Well, I suppose I could eat a bite or two." He hedged.
Vox knew better.
"Sure you could." He snorted. "I got two orders this time so I expect to get at least one before they all disappear, capische?"
Alastor hummed.
"I make no such promises!"
The deer closed his book and scooped up his wine. He meandered over to the end of the bar to watch as Vox opened up each container and then collapsed the bags. One remained standing however, a smaller bag with no telltale fish emblem from Vox's favorite sushi shop.
"And what sort of tchotchke have you brought home today?" Alastor pointed to the last bag on the counter.
Vox spared a glance over at the bag. He shrugged and grabbed two plates from a cabinet.
"It's a gift for you, actually."
"Oh? Well do tell!" Alastor preened.
"Well, I was thinking about our nights together and I wanted to try something out." Vox slid the bag over. "Here."
Alastor peered into the bag and then hummed in disinterest. The bag disappeared into a shadow and Vox felt something hit him over the head.
Out of instinct, he raised his hands to catch the bag.
"I fail to see what that is for, but I'm sure your depravity has an explanation that will burn my ears."
Vox snorted.
"You say that as if you didn't literally attend orgies as a voyeur when you were alive." He said as he plated up some sushi for them both.
Alastor smirked.
"Attended, certainly. Participated? Hardly." He leaned forward on his elbows and tucked his chin on his interlaced fingers. "It was rather less than sanitary, and I do so hate to ruin a good suit."
"Besides, it wasn't like I sought it out. Jazz is just so liberating! A few dances, a few drinks, and suddenly everyone's swinging on the dancefloor with a little less decorum!"
"Uh-huh." Vox replied. "Doesn't make you any less of a fucking freak."
Alastor cackled.
"Well now, my dear, that'd be the kettle calling the pot black, now wouldn't it?"
"Whatever. We're getting off topic." Vox waved his hand.
Alastor gave a mocking tilt of his head, his arms spread wide as if to implore Vox to speak.
"So last time we fucked, it was good, real good. Except for the part where you ripped out my carotid artery and had a little snack while I cauterized the fucking chunk missing from my neck."
Alastor's smile widened.
"Yes, I remember." He swirled his wine. "Your arteries have such a unique flavor. Not nearly as chewy either because of your mechanical kidneys!"
Vox leveled a glare at Alastor but the other simply smiled larger.
"Yeah. So, then I was thinking over all the times you've deigned to sully yourself with me and I noticed a pattern. You-" Vox pointed a finger at Alastor's chest. "Are a fucking biter."
"Guilty as charged." Alastor grinned and raised his glass in salute before taking a sip.
"So as I was thinking about all the times I had to patch up a nasty gouge from your teeth, I decided maybe the solution wasn't to get you to stop biting, but instead for you to bite something else."
Vox reached into the bag and pulled out the gift.
"Voila! Your very own chew toy that isn't me."
For the first time in a while, Vox was treated to the very special experience of a stunned Radio Demon. Alastor's glass had paused halfway to his mouth and his signature smile had dimmed down to almost a frown, with his lips pressed tight. His ears flattened and his eyes flickered between shock and indignation.
Vox drank it all in. And recorded it too-for posterity. It took Vox moving the toy closer to him before he finally snapped out of his stupor.
"Get that thing away from me before I take your hand for my evening snack." He snarled.
Vox smirked and wiggled the toy. To be honest, this reaction was absolutely worth the trip to the pet store alone. Vox hadn't seen Alastor so scandalized and offended in a long time. He was gonna have to make a montage of this later to enjoy.
"Aw c'mon, Al, give it a tryy-ahhhh fuck!" He swore as Alastor's teeth clamped down on the toy through the meat of his hand.
"Shit. Fuck! That smarts." He hissed. He shook his hand to dislodge the absolute freak of a demon he had fallen in love with but all Alastor did was growl and sink his teeth in deeper. Blood burbled up from between Alastor's teeth, down his fingers, and onto the floor with a gross plop.
Vox scowled. Great, he was gonna need to call his cleaning service for a deep clean tomorrow if this was where the evening was headed.
Vox tried smacking him next but Alastor simply growled louder, his antlers cracking as they grew. His frequency sent out a short burst of warning and Vox quickly withdrew his fist.
"Al, c'mon. That's my fucking hand. I need that."
Al merely hummed and began gnawing on the flesh between his teeth. His tongue lapped at the blood still gushing from the punctures in Vox's hand. It rasped over his raw skin like sandpaper, dragging over every cut. Vox grimaced at the unpleasant sensation.
Alastor was a weird amalgam of predator and prey with the instincts of both and one of the weirder things about him was his tongue. It was covered in hooks like a large cat's and just as rough. Vox had literally seen him lick the skin off a deer carcass down to the muscle underneath like some fucked up red mountain lion about to start a feast. Needless to say, it was fucking gross to watch.
So no, Vox was not enjoying the way his beloved's tongue was laving over his palm and fingers.
It was better than losing his fingers to Alastor's gullet, yeah, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Vox could admit that he was maybe a slut for pain, but getting fucking vored was not a kink he was into.
Vox sighed and rocked back on his heels. It was probably gonna be a while before he got that hand back, so he might as well get comfortable. At least he would probably regenerate most of it by lunch tomorrow. He could just take all his meetings digitally to avoid the handshakes.
Alastor's teeth sank even deeper-stupid fucking cryptid ass with an unhingeable jaw- and Vox yelped. The chew toy wheezed out air as Alastor's teeth sawed back and forth.
"Motherfucker! Al!" He snarled. He tried to tug his hand to his chest and ended up bringing a radio demon with it, still attached. The movement dislodged his beloved nutcase somewhat and the strangest thing happened as Alastor's tooth snagged on something embedded in the toy.
A loud weee-wooo! squeaked out into the air and both Alastor and Vox froze.
Now, when Vox had gone to Demon's Den Pet Supplies, he had not been paying the most attention as he wandered the aisles looking for the most annoying chew toy he could find. He was half reading emails, half scanning the toys for the most obnoxious one and at the time, he hadn't thought to actually read the labels before he picked up the lurid yellow and orange toy and decided that this one would offend Alastor's sensibilities the most.
And because he did not read the label, Vox was now attempting to make peace with the fact that he most likely would need to call his EMT team to stitch him back together and take a couple sick days after Alastor was done with him.
"Heyyyyy Al, let's not be too hasty now, okay?" He chuckled, eyes lasered in on Alastor's face. "It was just a joke, yeah? Just a little prank! No need for any further maiming."
Alastor growled and Vox flinched.
Oh this was so gonna hurt.
A beat.
Another.
Vox cracked open his eyes and stared down at his lover.
He blinked. Then he closed his eyes and opened them again.
Alastor's eyes were wide and dilated, focused down on the hand in his mouth and his ears were twitching wildly.
"Al?" Vox tried. "Alastor? You in there, bud?"
His ear flicked towards Vox's mouth but then swivelled away as if searching for something.
Vox frowned. He sent out a tendril of static and was met with a vibrating intensity, almost as if Alastor was waiting for something.
"What the fuck?" He muttered. Well, maybe whatever had set Alastor off was enough to get his hand back. He tugged his hand again, his other one tried to pry open Alastor's jaw. Alastor's ears airplaned downwards and his eyes darkened further. Vox kept going.
Alastor snarled at his impetuousness and clamped down harder. Vox yelled as his abused nerves took another beating from Alastor's teeth but his scream wasn't loud enough to cover the second weee-wooo! that sprang forth from the toy still trapped in his hand.
Alastor's ears shot upright and his eyes got bigger.
Huh.
Vox slowly squished his hand as best he could inside his dickhead of a lover's mouth and squeezed the chew toy one more time.
weee-wooo!
Vox cringed as it rang out but he kept his eyes trained Alastor. Once again, Alastor's ears perked up and he chittered-he fucking chittered.
"Holy shit." Vox breathed, "Holy shit!"
He started to cackle.
"You fucking-" He gasped. "Oh! Oh, this is too good!"
And the best part of all, was that Vox had bought two. He summoned the other toy to his free hand and squeezed it by Alastor's head. It let out a shrill shriek and Alastor turned so fast his neck cracked. Vox squeezed it again and Alastor's mouth loosened. A rumbling sort of chitter emanated from his chest.
Vox squeezed the toy one more time then tossed it as hard as he could against the nearest wall. In seconds, Alastor had melted into shadow and pounced on the unsuspecting toy. A terrible chewing started up interupted by little weee-wooo!s. Vox smirked and turned his attention back to his latest love tap from his beau.
Vox flexed his hand. He had all four fingers but his palm was sliced to bits. There was practically no skin left and it stung like a mother fucker. He'd definitely have to wrap it. Probably would need to wear gloves for the next few days too. Typing was going to suck so much tomorrow.
He sighed.
Sometimes, Vox wondered what the hell he saw in that psycho.
He rolled his hand in his jacket and made his way to the bathroom. The fabric snagged on the edges of the lacerations and Vox kept up a solid litany of swears as his hand continued to burn like it'd been dipped in lava.
As he ran his hand under the sink, he could still hear Alastor going to town on toy in the living room. He started chuckling again. His chuckles turned into hearty laughs and soon he was wheezing and bent over the sink.
Alastor, the mighty Radio Demon, felled by a fucking chew toy. It was too good to be true.
Vox had heard about why dogs loved chew toys, something about them having an overactive predator drive and the noise reminded them of prey, but he hadn't thought that his little predator would maybe have the same instincts baked in.
"Awww, Alastor's been too cooped up in that little hotel," he joked to himself, "Can't get any enrichment through murder!"
"Poor, poor Radio Demon!" He wheezed and reached for the gauze. "Doesn't little Miss Morningstar know how to take care of her pets?"
Vox had to stop to laugh again. He couldn't help it. He had never seen Alastor like this before and it was honestly priceless. It took him several minutes before he sobered up enough to continue dressing his hand and strode back out to the living room.
Alastor was kneeling by the wall with one hand holding the toy in his mouth, teeth clamped around it like a bear trap. His eyes had blacked out completely and his antlers had grown to their full 12 point rack. The toy was making pathetic little mewls as his teeth crunched down.
Vox whistled. His internal server whirred as he snapped picture after picture.
"Damn, Al. You're in deep, huh?" He muttered, waving a hand in front of Alastor's face. All his beau did was growl a warning and hunch deeper over the toy.
Vox brushed his frequency against Alastor's, but there was little to no thought coming from the other. He got a few vague impressions and a contented sense of satiation before he pulled back.
"Well, this wasn't how I expected this evening to go, but I suppose I'm not complaining." He commented. "Will you kill me if I eat all the sashimi?"
Alastor just kept chewing.
"More sushi for me then!" Vox crowed and moved to the kitchen. He finished plating the sushi and brought both plates out to the coffee table in front of the couch with a glass of riesling for himself and a coaster like a civilized demon.
Alastor seemed happy to chew his toy as Vox flipped through his streaming catalogue to find something worth watching. He put on a crime procedural and settled in to eat his sushi.
Ten minutes in, Alastor approached the couch with the toy in his mouth. Vox watched as he dropped it onto his slacks and then stared expectantly at him.
He grimaced as the black saliva oozed over his good slacks and started to seep in. The toy was practically torn to shreds. It looked like someone had put it through a woodchipper and the noise box hung limply from the end like some sort of technological entrail.
"Thanks, Al. That's...that's great, baby." He managed. He picked up the toy and placed it on the floor next to him. It spilled out even more black saliva.
"Eugh, that's fucking disgusting." Vox muttered and summoned a napkin to try and dab at the stain on his pants.
Alastor snorted and pawed at the hardwood. His frequency shoved displeasure at Vox.
"Fuck! What do you want? A fucking treat? God, you're such a diva." Vox complained, but he reached down to Alastor's plate and tossed him a sashimi. Alastor caught it with his mouth and let out a gravelly purr. "There. Eat your fucking sashimi, you bastard."
Alastor swiped the rest of the sushi into his mouth with his tongue and settled back on his haunches to chew.
"You know, it really is a shame that you refuse to eat ass." He observed. "The things I would do to get your tongue inside me."
Alastor merely blinked lazily at him and swallowed. Vox sighed.
"Well I guess we're not doing anything tonight but waiting this out, huh? In that case, I'm getting out the shark onesie because you can't make fun of me right now."
Alastor merely yawned and then walked off.
Vox took that as his go ahead and got changed into his favorite pjs and the onesie. When he came back, Alastor was curled up on the couch with the first chew toy in his mouth, gnawing gently.
Vox cooed and took another dozen pictures before he sat back down and started the show again. Alastor shifted and Vox watched in amazement as he curled into his side and placed his head on Vox's lap.
"Holy shit. Holy fucking shit, you are going to kill me tomorrow but it'll have been worth every second." He whispered. His fingers twitched towards his lover's ears, the opportunity presented was way too good to miss. He stroked the ears and Alastor hummed deep through the airwaves. His head nestled closer and he leaned into the featherlight pets.
"Oh Al, you're gonna kill me if you keep being this cute, you little motherfucker." Vox groaned. He'd flipped from pictures to video and was now zooming in on the happy little swish of his partner's ears and tail. Alastor had even let his frequency unfurl to tangle with Vox's. Vox let his own free in response and the two began to thrum and pulse in harmony.
They sat like that for hours, watching episode after episode until Vox could barely keep his eyes open. Alastor had fully fallen asleep on him and was letting out cute little snuffles as he breathed.
Vox looked over at his bedroom door, then back at the adorable demon on his lap. Yeah, it wasn't worth getting up for the bed. He snuggled down into the armrest and shoved a pillow behind his head and conked out.
****
The first thing Vox was aware of was little pinpricks of pain circling his wrist. He grumbled and shook his wrist.
"Vark, fuck off." He mumbled.
But the pinpricks didn't go away. They came back in a barrage of sharp shocks and Vox bolted upright. His arm tried to curl to his chest on instinct but it wouldn't budge, instead the pain made him yelp.
He cracked open his eyes and was greeted with the sight of Alastor's teeth embedded in his wrist. His eyes were black and ticking and his smile had grown feral. A low growl was emanating from the radio in his chest.
"Oh shit." Vox hissed. He tugged frantically at his hand but Alastor held firm. His teeth began to clamp down harder and Vox yelled.
"Ow ow ow ow! Hey Al, buddy, you don't want to do this!" Vox babbled. "It was just a joke! I didn't know it would do this-ahhhh fuck!"
Vox howled as Alastor's teeth scraped his bones. It felt fucking awful. It grated like nails on a chalkboard and Vox retched.
Alastor snapped his head backwards suddenly and Vox ragdolled forward. Alastor growled and shoved a hand against Vox's chest before he resumed his pulling.
Vox screamed. There was an unnatural stretch as he felt his tendons start to tear, each one snapping like strings on a harp. Blood gushed down his arm like a cyan waterfall. His vision blurred and black spots tap danced across his screen.
Alastor kept up a consistent gnawing on his radius and ulna in between pulls and Vox fought to stay conscious through the pain. Alastor's teeth nicked the bone with each bite and Vox swore he could feel his arm splintering. Bile rose in his throat.
With a sickening crack, Alastor snapped his teeth through the bone. Vox vomited, tears dripping down his casing.
"Oh God, oh fuck!" He whimpered.
But Alastor wasn't done, with one vicious tug, he ripped Vox's hand clean off. Vox's voice broke into a hoarse sob and the black spots swarmed his vision.
When he woke back up, Alastor was back to his normal size and chewing loudly on Vox's hand. Neon blue blood ran down his chin and his radio was chirping out a little ragtime tune.
Vox stared down at the bloody stump of his arm in stupor. It was pouring out blood like a fucking fountain. Vox felt queasy. He used to have a hand there.
It pulsed hot pain and he hissed. He tightened his fist over it and let out a sob as his nerves wailed. He braced himself, then shot electricity through the wound to cauterize it.
His vision whited out. All he could feel was pain for what felt like hours. He blacked out again.
When he came to once more, Alastor was humming as he licked Vox's blood from his fingers.
Vox's throat felt raw. He swallowed and tried to sit up. His mouth tasted coppery.
"I fucking hate you so much." He rasped.
Alastor turned to him with a cold fury in his eyes.
"If you ever treat me like some pet again," he spat, static thickening his voice, "I will scatter your parts across all seven rings and mount your head on my wall as a trophy."
He stalked over to Vox and let out his demonic form to loom menacingly.
Vox glared back, but wisely kept his mouth shut.
Alastor shrunk back down. He dusted off his overcoat and summoned his microphone.
"Well, thank you for the breakfast, but I really must be going." He said cheerily. His hands came to adjust his bowtie. "A hotelier must always keep his duties! Ta ta for now, old friend! See you soon!"
And with that, he melted into the shadows.
Vox scowled deep at the spot he had occupied.
"Rat fucking bastard." He muttered. His fingers fluttered over the stump that used to be his right hand and he sighed.
Today was going to be a long fucking day.