#ancient-lemonade-lich

[rarware]

consider: Robert who cries during sex sometimes, esp post crash and coma. it's not that he's upset or anything, he just gets a little overwhelmed (both physically and emotionally) and reader is endeared by it. 👀

oh do not even get me started (no wait do)

you know the drill. MDNI

tags - cw pretty nsfw, crying during sex, no physical descriptors for reader

wc - idk writing on the tumblr app. not very long?

It’s unfair.

You already feel envy over the thick lashes framing Robert’s tired doe eyes.

Already feel the curling green vines of jealousy whenever he’s below you, said lashes fluttering and pupils blown wide as he stares up at you in a daze.

So, it’s incredibly fucking rude of him to look so pretty with dewy tears clumping his lower lashes, fattening with each half-baked blink.

His furrowed brows deepen the sweet expression on his flushed face, bite-plump lips parting around each trembling exhale that leaves him.

It’s unfair how the copper of his irises almost glitter in their wetness, especially when his eyes roll and stutter shut when your hips give another slow grind against him.

“Fffuh–ck.” Robert chokes out, fists twisting in the sheets fitfully before they release the fabric to blindly fumble for purchase on your waist, “Sl–ow down.”

The envy continues curling in on itself until it reinvents, blooms into an almost aching adoration as you watch him. The hand you have braced on his chest skims his collarbone on its trajectory to his throat.

Your fingertips make contact with the sweat on his neck before they travel up, up, up to his jaw. They form a cradle against his heated cheek, his head easily tilting back further at your gentle direction.

“Look at me, Robert,” you murmur sweetly, thumb drifting over to press on his bottom lip with light pressure, a soft low sound puffing around it, “Open your eyes.”

He sucks in a stunted breath through his teeth before they peek open, just barely able to focus on your face above him before they’re rolling again when you reward him with another grind.

The resulting wheezing groan that punches from his chest vibrates from his jawbone to your fingertips, the tendons in his neck flexing as his head presses further against the pillow it rests on.

It’s almost sinful—how the tear that falls from his lashes adds so beautifully to his thoroughly debauched demeanor, how his eyes struggling to stay open send another wave of broiling heat to your stomach.

It’s so. Fucking. Unfair.

[rarware]

okay okay not your usual brand, BUT please consider: Robert and a reader who are rekindling their romance because being Mecha Man was putting a strain on the relationship and it came to a head when his suit went down. consider 👀

i almost feel bad for a few fics i have planned because all i've posted so far has been nothing but tooth-rotting sweetness and i know the whiplash that will come with the posting of said fics... almostttttt ;) this actually isn't too far off to one in the works! it's gotta little twist to it, perchance kekekeke.

oh, i very consider this.

this concept drives me up the WALL in the best possible way. there are so many avenues it could take (albeit, with the subject at hand, usually not good ones lol) and it makes such a good mental jawbreaker.

undercut because i am insane and write with the guidance of visions and the like

like how long did reader put up with the self-destruction that got progressively worse and harder to ignore? what was the breaking point? would robert be resigned to it and let them walk out without a fight (already tunnel-focused on leads on shroud and thus blocks the mental & emotional space to confront his feelings)? would he feel almost betrayed by the only pillar of support and love he had left in his life seemingly giving up when he was so close to his goal, causing a more defensive pushback? would he be bitter until he almost dies? would he hit the bottle again?

what was the tipping point for reconciliation? reader can only stay around for so long with no change, i don’t think they’d make the move to reconnect. after settling into sdn, i bet chase would smack him upside the head after he recounts the timeline of events while drinking together, calling him a dumbass and to reach out. i think he’d be nervous. he never deleted their number, no matter how many late nights he laid on the floor staring at the contact while a thumb hovered over the block button. he has no excuse. he’s mecha man for fucks sake, why is he borderline terrified of texting an ex. has he even grown or changed to healthier habits enough to deserve the chance? he’d like to think so but some vein of thoughts he has to bury occasionally makes him feel otherwise.

would they almost fall back into old routine, without the self sabotaging? like they were never apart? or would there be a period of relearning the other? either way, the love that he thought he had stomped out with a heavy heel immediately starts thrashing and clawing in his chest when he even sees them again.

holy text wall my apologies but THANK YOU. now i am scheming. oh goddd what if i edit what i have so far. fuck oh god you are feeding the worms in my brain.

[rarware]

hi it's my dumb ass again YOU SEE MY VISIIIIOOONNN THANK YOU

I raise you this: Robert who is, in fact, deeply betrayed by reader leaving him, but does not push back for their sake because it's finally apparent to him how much his self destruction has also destroyed them in the process. :3

your brain is beautiful and so big and very full of wrinkles you are more than welcome to come back as much as you want are you kidding

i couldn’t help the angst aspect, that’s been a long time coming i’m afraid

god, this could branch in so many directions also.

like would he just accept it? almost anticlimacticly?

maybe reader had a whole speech about it, finally able to get him to listen to them for the first and last time. their concern, their fear for his life, “Robert, you’re killing yourself. You aren’t the mech. You can’t keep pushing yourself like this, you’re going to get hurt. And I can’t just sit idly by while you do it anymore. I can’t. I love you too much to.”

a simple, “…okay.” that’s it. he can’t even look at them when they pause, almost laughing in disbelief. “okay.” like the thought of even absorbing their words would allocate too much energy that could be used on tracking this toxic guy down.

no “you’re right.” no “i can be better.” no “please, i need you.”

no matter how much he wants to say it; knows he should say it.

he keeps those words burning like a live wire connected from his auditory cortex and his frontal lobe, burning white hot until it crisps itself. by that point, they’re long gone, having offered one last crumb of support that he won’t be seeing for a while.

“be careful.”

or could it be a bit more vitriolic?

instead of pushback, it’s straight up pushing.

the walls he’s learned to build from the early days of mecha man raise on instinct. his nervous system can’t tell the difference between a hulking giant villain trashing downtown and his partner gently asking him to slow down, to be careful.

to slow down is to lose track of his mission, to lose track of his mission is to run the risk of shroud getting away, shroud getting away is… not an option.

his brain sees this intervention as being cornered in a fight, and when he’s cornered in a fight, he’s learned to fight dirty.

and so he does.

he isn’t foaming at the mouth, but he’s cold. he’s already closed the reinforced hatch to his mental fortitude.

what hurts about what he says is that they’re fundamentally true, that they cut deep in a personal way only years of being together can be. and with each word, with all the forced indifference, he can see them try to remain above the cutting board.

so he keeps on. he keeps running his mouth until he knows he can’t come back from this. until they’re staring at him like every memory they’ve had with him were wiped from history’s playbook. selfishly, until he knows they are hurting without a doubt, just to bring them to his level.

the borderline horror in their eyes as they stand with a gaped mouth twists his stomach sharply, guilt and regret beginning a dizzying tango in his gut until he shuts that out too.

“you don’t want to get involved?” he asks rhetorically, knowing damn well that is not at all what they were trying to say, “fine. leave. don’t get involved. this has been a problem for me long before you become one.”

that was it. that was the last thing he said to them until they meet again after the explosion.

and how the hell would he start fixing that?

[rarware]

TIS I. bobert songs, go!

♡

Dark Signs - Sleep Token (mostly the backing vocals)

Youngest Daughter - Superheaven (purely vibes)

New Person, Same Old Mistakes - Tame Impala

Deathwish (slowed) - akiaura

I Don't Wanna Be Me - Type O Negative

Past Self - Sleep Token (tbh I could put just about any ST song on here, ST is for the yearners ✌)

Hollow Moon (Single Version) - The Crane Wives

Cogwork Core - Hollow Knight OST

You Know Me Too Well - Nothing But Thieves

Die Your Daughter - Susannah Joffe

A Little Death - The Neighborhood

Jericho - Sleep Token

The Future - Mystery Skulls

Honey Whiskey - Nothing But Thieves

got so violently excited over seeing idwbm - type o negative. same with youngest daughter - superheaven. also HELLO crane wives and susannah joffe (i actually haven’t been able to stop singing die your daughter recently LOL).

i will definitely listening to the others i’m not familiar with, you have given me enrichment. thank youuuu <3

i absolutely adore connecting with others over music regardless of topic and this has made my day, so in return i offer a few songs that i’ve connected to robert myself :)!

disclaimer; these are a mix of character analysis and straight up projection/what i picture him personally jamming to/songs i just associate with him so have fun deciphering what’s what ;)

Papaoutai - Stromae (self explanatory /shrug)

* Morto - O Terno

What’s My Name - Noshows (where i got the title for my fic of the same name; literally no relation to the story other than i was listening to it at the time of writing LOL)

Daredevil - Fiona Apple

Bombshell - Powerman5000 (idk seems like a song he’d have on like a patrol playlist to get his blood pumping. also c’mon. powerman.)

* Logging Field - Annabelle Dinda

The Nurse Who Loved Me - A Perfect Circle (i just imagine him liking how this song sounds tbh)

* I Couldn’t Say It To Your Face - Arthur Russell

Father of Mine - Everclear (also very self explanatory. also also ouch)

1979 - The Smashing Pumpkins

Jane! - The Long Faces (yes because of that incredible dispatch fan animation but i also really adore this song)

* Drinking Age - Cameron Winter (heavy on this one. also the lyrics to my header lol. if you listen to any of these, let it be this one first and you will see how i see him.)

Chase the Feeling - The Devil Makes Three (i haven’t posted it yet, but this ties in with my rerun of dispatch robert)

* Slow Moves - José González

Toxicity - System Of A Down (honestly, i can see him liking a lot of soad’s songs)

Hysteria - Muse

Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nicks (my robert absolutely loves belting stevie sorry. i’m not i love stevie.)

Sextape - Deftones

Bullet With Butterfly Wings - The Smashing Pumpkins

Paper Bag - Fiona Apple

Today - The Smashing Pumpkins (jesus that’s a lot of pumpkins.)

Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away) - Deftones

Breathe (In the Air) - Pink Floyd

Linger - The Cranberries

Noid - Tyler, the Creator

Oil - Gorillaz (Ft. Stevie Nicks)

other general artists/misc - definitely listens to paramore, maybe some nirvana, more deftones if he’s been drinking maybe, foo fighters, if i put every song i can think of we will be here all day

[rarware]

do you have a guidelines post or anything for requests?? like topics that are and aren't allowed. Ive got lizard brain but I wanna be Respectful™

i’m fast tracking a faq page to the top of priorities of writing :)

for now, the basics are i don’t tread dead dove/dark topics. that’s really it. other than that, it’s up to my own discretion of what i want to post so go nuts!!! (obviously, within the bare minimum boundaries)

[rarware]

hello hello! I just wanted to say how much I love your dispatch fics. they're so soft in such an intimate way- like, in hypotheticals, how Robert and the reader are cuddled up and joking felt so real and intimate I felt genuine yearning.

I would love to bounce ideas off each other sometime, if you'd want to chat!!! have a nice day 🧡

ahhh thank you so very much!! :) this takes away some of the worry i had with hypotheticals lol. if the yearning is strong, then i accomplished what i set out to do >:) #yearner

and absolutely! my askbox is open for any concept or thought! i love volleying ideas with others a lot and will absolutely jump at the chance haha

[petrichorium]

HI. hope it's okay to send an ask- the fic of yours I read mentioned messaging you but your DMs are closed (which, fair) but I just wanted to tell you personally how much I love your Roommate!Sero fanfic. It was a favorite of mine in HS, and still a favorite after rereading it years later. It was so comforting to see no gendered language for the reader since I've transitioned my gender since my first read. I just really really love that fic, it's so well written and so funny and so lovely and it's holds a special place in my heart. I personally think it's part of why I love Sero the way I do now, so thank you for such an amazing fanfic

🥺 omg I missed this ask when it first came though but thank you for the lovely words!!!! It’s so nice to hear when my work impacts people like this. I’m so glad it brought you joy like this and I appreciate you reaching out 🫶🏻