I have such a weird relationship with colors that maybe only a couple of people knows about. Usually I wear black, white, grey clothing. I hate combining colors and I feel so uncomfortable when I wear bright colors. I tolerate red (but still don't wear it). Recently, maybe like a couple of years I started to like pink, many variations of it. Usually pastel pink. I have forced myself to be comfortable to wear it. But sometimes I have hyperfixations in colors specifically. When I was obsessing over HL I really liked green (slytherin colors). But when obsession ended green, as always, started to make me so sick. Like I couldn't wear any of the clothing I've bought over the fixation. And it comes and goes for specific characters.
I have no idea what's the actual thing that causes it. Maybe its a bpd thing with like unstable self image and shit but it's actually affecting my art too. I have no problem seeing colors on other's paintings and stuff but I have such discomfort using it?? Maybe it's cause I lack skill and color theory but it comes to a point where I don't touch my art because I know I have to color it. And I know how much discomfort it would bring me to see the colors.
