I hate TV shows' stance on vasectomy. It is a small procedure that amounts to the least you can do for your partner. The least you can do for your partner is also a way to show your love: "Honey, I went through a non-invasive procedure, so you don't have to ever push a watermelon out of a small hole or go through pregnancy or miscarriage/abortion ever again."
Why do these characters act like they're being asked to be castrated ?
Why is it okay to lie to your partner about having it done?
Why are the women in this situation treated like they are overreacting to being lied to about something that affects them?
Phil Dunphy (Modern Family) is nervous, and that is okay because he talks to his wife, and they both decide to wait.
Burt Chance (Raising Hope) is nervous and not sure if he truly doesn't want any more children, but he goes through with it after talking to his son.
Hal Notlastname (Malcolm in the Middle) doesn't want to have the surgery, and instead of talking to his wife, he lies to her and pretends he had a vasectomy.
Pairings: Miles Tuner x Ashley Turner Andre Johnson x OFC Black!Reader (Leah Watts)
Chapter Rating: M for strong language 18+ Minors DNI
Dividers: Me💁🏽♀️
Word Count: 3.6 K
Chapter List Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Next Chapter
First Straw
Miles made it to the front of the school he looked at Sean who was uncharacteristically quiet the entire ride. Usually, Sean talks Miles head off when he drives him to school, since Ashley usually does it Miles takes advantage whenever he can. Even though it was four years ago he’s still trying to make up for the time he was in prison.
“Alright, man. Here you are.” Sean didn’t say anything, he looked up at Miles.
“Dad?”
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“Are you and Mom okay?” That took Miles back, he adverted his gaze. He knew that Sena heard them fighting last night but he wasn’t sure how much he heard.
“I know you heard me and your Mom last night. We didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“Amir’s parents fought last year and they got a divorce. Are you and Mom—”
“No, not all.” Miles shut that down before Sean could get it out. Four years ago he’d promised himself Sean would never have to ask questions like this. Promised himself he’d never let their life feel unstable again.
“Your Mom and I love each other very much. We’re just trying to figure something out and we didn’t do a good job talking to each other last night.” Sean didn’t look convinced, Miles grabbed his should and made him look at him.
“Mom and I are good. Okay?” Sean nodded his head
“Okay.”
“Alright, now get on before you’re late. Have a good day at school.” Sean grabbed his back bag before climbing out of the car
“Thanks Dad.”
“I love you Sean!”
“Love you too.” Miles waited until Sean was inside before he drove off.
The Last Straw
“Alright, Collin isn’t in today he’s training at the San Leandro location. So, you mutha fuckas stuck with me today.” A chorus of playful boos filled the locker room. Yorkie and Rob being the loudest. Miles flipped them the middle finger before looking back at his clip board. He stood up a little straighter; this was his chance to show that he could be a manager too which meant more money for Ashley and Sean. He wants Ashley to cut back on her hours. Wanted her home more. Wanted her less tired and she can’t do that if he wasn’t bringing in enough.
He wants to give her the wedding she deserves; no matter how many times she said the one they had was perfect.
In Miles eyes, Ashley deserves the world.
Miles quickly named off assignments to everyone, went down the list of things that they need to achieve before clocking out and the complaints from the previous shifts.
“Aight, so I need my drivers to really be careful on the road. Y’all fuckin up our reputation, according to Mina, we got six complaints yesterday about y’alls driving. If you can’t handle driving the trucks then ya ass gonna be sitting passenger princess.” Miles was met with a few laughs, he was about to close out and dismiss everyone when,
The Branch Manager, Knox, entered the locker room, a young college boy who just graduated with a Degree in Gentrification who had a knack for sucking all of the energy out the room. Miles bit his jaw, this kids was fresh out of college and walked in the door and was just handed the job without a second thought. Miles could name ten people that were deserving of a promotion, but that’s the perk of being the owner’s nephew.
“Morning everyone,” he greeted was met with a few grunts in return. “I’m gonna hand out assignments—”
“Oh I already handled that for you, big dog.” Miles interjected patting Knox on the back. Knox turned to Miles a tight lip smile plastered on his face.
“we changed the schedule.”
“Changed the schedule? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“It was in your mailbox. You didn’t check it?” Knox asked a subtle smirk that only Miles caught
He clenched his jaw, he did this shit on purpose. He couldn’t prove it but he just knew it.
“Don’t worry about it buddy. It happens, that’s why I’m the manager.”
“So did Miles give us the wrong assignments?”
“Yeah, but it’s alright team we can pivot. Now listen up for your updated routes.” Miles stepped back as Knox took over the room. He moved over to stand next to Yorkie and Rob who gave him a sympathetic look.
“Don’t worry about him, he just mad because he ain’t got no bitches on his dick.” Yorkie whispered
“Yeah, the only girl on his phone probably his Mama.” Rob added
“Miles.” His head perked up “You’re on Yard Duty.”
“Yard Duty? Man that’s some bull shit.”
“Well, since it’s obvious you’re not quite ready to properly lead a crew. You can make yourself…useful today.”
“Useful? Man fuck—”
“Everyone here at Commander Moving is a team player. No one is above any task. Isn’t that right, Miles?” Knox smirked; he knew what he was doing.
It took everything in him not to say anything; he was already on thin ice. He was lucky enough to get his job back. One mistake and that’s it. He’s gone. Miles let out a heavy sigh before putting on a neutral face.
“That’s right.”
“Good. Let’s a have a fantastic Commander Moving Day.”
Miles wiped his forehead, huffing as he plopped down on one of the benches in the locker room. Of course this had to be one of the hottest days and he spent most of outside--thanks to Knox--bitch ass. He sniffed his underarm and winced. Hopefully he still has that deodorant that Ash bought. That's when he smiled...slightly. He pulled out his phone and without out thinking opened Ashley’s contact and immediately started typing.
You won’t believe the bull shit that Knox just pull-
He stopped. He probably shouldn’t, he doesn’t want to pretend nothing happened.
“Miles! Can you give me a hand with this customer?” Someone called out to him.
“Yeah, give me a sec.”
He sucked his teeth before deleting the message and stuffing the phone into his pocket.
You can do it, put your back into it
I can do it, put your ass into it
You can do it, put your back into it
I can do it, put your ass into it
Put your back into it
Put your ass into it
First Straw
The bass from the speaker made the walls vibrate. Andre as he rolled over on the small futon in the makeshift guest room that doubled as an office. He reached for his phone only to see that it was dead. He looked further and saw the charger wasn’t fully plugged in. He groaned as he got out of bed and plugged it into the outlet completely. Then it hit him, he had an interview today.
Andre rushed into the kitchen, Tico didn’t even acknowledge him, too busy counting stacks of money with two girls, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
“Aye,” Andre said the music drowning out his voice.
“Aye.” He tried again, louder. Still nothing
“Aye!” Tico finally looked up and smiled
“Aye, what up Dre? How you sleep?”
“Fine, you know what time it is?”
“Uhhhh, 9:53.”
“Why you ain’t wake me up? I told you about my interview!”
“Nigga, I ain’t yo Daddy.”
Andre went back to the room without an explanation. His interview was at 10:00 in Alameda. His P.O. set up a job interview at a Hardware store, they’re second chance friendly and he didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot already. He stumbled over his shoes as she checked his phone battery
12%
Close enough. He raced out of the house and dialed his P.O.’s number as he ran to the bus stop.
Hey this is David. I’m not available—
Andre ended the call and dialed it again. After a few rings it went to voicemail again.
Hey this is David—
“Come the fuck on David!” Andre ran to the bus stop hoping he wouldn’t be too late. He couldn’t mess up already; it’s only been one day. Then he saw it—the bus, he ran harder. Faster. Just as he made it the doors shut. He banged on the doors,
“Come on man! Open the door!” The bus driver ignored him as he drove off
“Fuck!” Andre shouted in frustration. He plopped down on the bench, resting his head in his hands. The judge’s words replaying in his mind,
“You are now a convicted felon, Mr. Johnson. It is your job, no, your duty to prove them wrong.”
Andre checked his phone for the time
10:05
He stood up and ran for the next bus stop.
Second Straw
Andre huffed as he entered the hardware not without earning the judgmental looks of customers. He must’ve looked crazy, a hot sweety mess, shirt wrinkled and disheveled, pants sagging, belt halfway buckled. He waited in line to speak with the cashier an older man eyed him suspiciously. Andre offered a tired smile before the man huffed and walked away.
“Next!” Andre quickly approached the counter, leaning on it for support
“Uh, can I help you?”
“I’m here for the interview at 10:00.” Both their eyes glanced to the clocked above the front door.
10:36
“Look I know I’m late, but I really need this job. I’m tryna,” Andre huffed out of breath from running here from the bus stop. “I’m just tryna to get myself together.” The man looked him up and down before checking what looked like a planner
“You said you’re here for an interview?”
“Yeah, Andre Johnson, my P.O. set it up, David Whitaker.”
“Sir, that’s not until tomorrow.”
“What? No, he told me it was today. April 6th at 10 AM.”
“I’m telling you, it’s tomorrow.” Andre sucked his teeth and reached into his pocket to pull out his phone.
“Imma show you the text.” Andre tapped his phone screen. Nothing. He tapped it again. A blank screen stared back at him. He held the home button and dead.
“Man, today’s the 5th.” The cashier showed him the planner and sure enough, it’s the 5th. Not the 6th.”
“Damn it,” He whispered
“Just a heads up, just give us a call next time. We’re just a hardware store.” He patted Andre’s shoulder “See you tomorrow.”
The Last Straw
Andre nervously tapped his foot on the ground as he waited for her to walk out the door. If he remembered this is where she worked. He used to bring her lunch from time to time and they would sit on this bench during her break. Talk about where they see themselves, what they’d hoped to accomplish. All that faded away when Andre went to prison.
Andre’s head snapped up when he heard the door open and that’s when he saw her. Wearing her favorite color, emerald green scrubs, her hair’s different…very different, shorter than when he last saw her like it was growing back after she cut it. Her face a bit colder, he was partly to blame for that.
“Leah,” Andre breathed, he almost smiled when their eyes met…almost, until he saw her entire demeanor change from disbelief to anger.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Montrell?”
“Montrell? You using my government name again?” Andre tried to joke awkwardly but dropped his smirk when Leah held her glare.
“I’m gonna ask you again, what the fuck are you doing here?”
“I came to see you. Maybe talk.”
“When you get out?” Leah asked, ignoring his answer.
“Yesterday. I’m on probation.” Leah nodded stiffly
“You at a halfway house?”
“Nah, I’m with Tico for now.” Leah rolled her eyes, not surprised, which Andre noticed and immediately tried to clean it up
“But it’s not permanent. Imma stay with Ash and Miles.” Leah raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.
Andre took a step forward and Leah, a step back. He can’t lie it hurt but he deserved it.
“I just wanna…” Leah looked at Andre expectantly. Andre sighed
“I wanna see Malik.” Leah scoffed, she fucking knew it.
“The answer’s no. Good bye.” Leah said curtly before brushing past him.
“Leah! Leah!” Andre followed her as she kept walking toward her car
“Leah, don’t fucking keep my son from me!” That made Leah freeze. She turned around and approached Andre slowly.
“You don’t get to demand to see my son! Where the hell have you been?”
“Leah, you pushed me away! You left me out of my son’s life.”
“How the hell did I get there?!” Leah yelled
“Don’t show up here again.” Leah said lowly, storming to her car without a second glance. Andre watched as she got in and sped off. Andre roughly ran his hand over his head.
“Fuck!”
Since Miles took the car, Ashley called Scotty to ask for a ride but he was coming in later because he had an appointment. So, Ashley had to take the bus. No big deal, she’s been taking the bus all her life. When she first got her job at the Alcatraz Hotel she had to take the bus.
First Straw
Not only was the bus late, but it broke down. Ashley had to walk three block in three inch heels to the hotel. By the time she got there was tired, hot, and irritated.
Ashley marched through the hotel lobby ignoring the looks of her coworker, the newest one some college kid, didn’t quite read the room.
“Good Morning, Mrs. Turner, how’s you day?”
“Well it feels like a bunch of tiny fucking needles are stabbing my feet right now. How’s that sound?”
“Um-uh-I?” He glanced at his peers for backup who immediately either looked away or attempted to hold in their laughter.
“I didn’t think so.” Ashley said before heading straight to her office.
Second Straw
Once she got to work and logged onto her computer she was met with emails upon emails full of even requests, wedding walkthroughs, vendor approvals, and so on and so on. Just as she was about to her lunch she should’ve eaten an hour ago; she was pulled away to diffuse a situation with a guest and the newest Front desk associate. Ashley wasn’t technically a manager — but when things went wrong, everyone looked at her. She saw an older white woman practically berating one of the new hires.
“Hello Ma’am, I’m Ashley, Guest Relations Coordinator, what seems to the problem?” Ashley asked a fake smile plastered on her face.
“Your incompetent staff member here, what’s your name?”
“Keri.”
“Keri, refuses to let me check in.” Ashley turned to Keri waiting for her to elaborate.
“Her ID and the name on the credit card don’t match.” Keri said
“And I don’t see why that’s a problem.” Ashley turned to the woman with a knowing smile
“Ma’am, we would love to get you settled into your room however, if the names do not match on your ID and the credit card you are attempting to use we are not allowed to check in you.”
“That’s ridiculous, this is my mother-in-law’s card. I’ve done this same thing at this hotel many times before.”
“Okay, well that’s not true—”
“You’re calling me a liar?” Ashley exhaled deeply
“Ma’am, per hotel policy—”
“I don’t give a damn about hotel policy. I want to be check in right God damn now!” The woman slammed her hand on the desk. “I mean what’s the problem? I can call my mother-in-law.”
“Ma’am, it doesn’t matter who you call. We can’t verify that it’s actual your mother-in-law. Until you give us a card that matches you ID, you will not be allowed to check in.” Ashley stressed, she couldn’t believe that she was having to explain this to a grown woman.
“I’m a platinum member, is this how you treat your platinum members?”
“Ma’am I don’t give a fuck if you a platinum, diamond or blue member. If you don’t have a credit card matching the name on your ID you can’t fucking check in. So either give us a credit card with your name on it, it’s probably Karen or some shit. Doesn’t fucking matter. You know what, get the hell up outta here and take ya ass to a damn Motel 6! How many fucking times do I have to—”
“Mrs. Turner!” Keri said, nudging Ashley’s shoulder, bringing her back to reality.
“I’m waiting. I do not have time for this. I’m supposed to meeting a very important client or lunch.” Ashley’s eye twitched is she seriously rushing them?
“Bitch if you gave us a credit card with your name on it none of this would be happening. You probably maxed out on that shit with your low ass balance—”
Ashley was brought when the woman clapped in her face.
“Hello? I’m waiting. God, these fucking people.”
Everyone was looking at Ashley waiting for a response. How long had she zoned out? Doesn’t matter, she’s used to this, she’s Ashley, it’s what she does best. She cleared her throat and smoothed done her blouse before putting on her perfected costumer service smile.
“Ma’am, unless you can produce a credit card that has your name on it we will not permit you to check in. If you refuse to produce said card, we’ll be forced to not only call the police to have you removed but you’ll also be banned from ever booking with us.” The woman stared at Ashley as if it was finally sinking in that she wasn’t going to be able to scam er way out of this.
“I think I have another card.” The woman said slowly reaching into her bag.
“Great!” Ashley said brightly. “Keri, once she gives you her card get Mrs?”
“Donahue, Karen Donahue.” She muttered, Ashley’s smile got even wider.
“Get, Mrs. Donahue squared away.” Ashley leaned in close to Keri’s ear. “Put her on the fifth floor next to the sweet sixteen party.” Ashley looked up at Mrs. Donahue again, sweet smile plastered on her face.
“Enjoy your stay at the Alcatraz Hotel, if you need anything. I’m Ashley.” Ashley turned to walk away smile instantly falling.
Ashley pulled out her phone and without thinking about seconds from calling Miles. Her thumb hovered over the call button. She shook her head before going back to her office.
Third Straw
Three wedding walk-throughs and two event meetings later Ashley was ready to go home. She was seconds from logging out when she saw an email from the Hotel Owner.
Subject Line: Job Well Done on Food and Wine Event
Ashley smiled, she was the brain child behind that whole event, she worked all day and night on making sure it was the perfect event. From the food vendors down to the entertainment, Ashley planned things so perfectly that people thought she was the hotel manager. So, to be shouted out by the Hotel Owner would be a huge boost for her next promotion.
She skimmed the email, It was a beautiful event…staff did an excellent job…congratulations to our Hotel Manager Jessica Pratt for organizing the event.
Jessica fucking Pratt? The same bitch who doesn’t even know what to do with her mouth unless there’s a dick in it? Ashley slammed her laptop closed.
She looked at her watch: 5:00 PM. She stilled stayed longer than she wanted to. She packed up her things and locked the door before going to the Lead Front Desk Associate to give one last word of encouragement before handling the night shift.
“Don’t call me unless the hotel is literally on fire or the building is about to collapse. If you call me and neither of those things are happening I’m cutting both of your fucking balls off before they even get a chance to drop. Capise?”
“Capise.” The new Lead said more afraid of Ashley than the actual building possibly setting on fire.
“Great, don’t fucking call me.”
Ashley was lucky enough to catch a ride with Scotty who talked her ear off the entire ride when all she wanted was silence.
Last Straw
When Scotty dropped her off, Ashley couldn’t get inside fast enough. She kicked off her heel, reached under her blouse to quickly undo her bra and flung it to the side not caring where it landed.
She headed straight to the kitchen, grabbed her favorite wine glass, opened the liquor cabinet and…
“FUCK!”
Empty. Nothing. Not even enough for a shot of anything. She groaned in frustration and let her head drop. Which led her to now, sitting on the sofa drinking water…out of a wine glass.
Trish entered the Turner house using the key Ashley knew she’d copied, though she swore up and down Miles had given it to her. Ashley didn’t even care anymore. She was still bothered by the fact that she hadn’t heard from or seen Miles since he left for work this morning.
“What it is?” Trish asked, kicking the door closed behind her.
“Hey,” Ashley mumbled, taking a long sip from the wine glass in her hand.
Trish squinted. “What you drinkin’?”
“Water.”
“From a wine glass.”
“Yep.”
Trish frowned. “Why?”
“Because I don’t have any wine, Trish.”
“Then go get some. The fuck?”
“I can’t. Miles took the car this morning.” Ashley lifted the glass again. “So Imma drink this water until it start tastin’ like wine.”
“That don’t make no sense.”
“It ain’t make sense when Jesus turned water into wine either. So Imma pretend this is wine.”
“That still don’t make—”
“Shut the fuck up!” Ashley snapped. “I don’t gotta explain shit to you! Damn.”
“Damn Ash, what crawled up in you and died?”
“Nothing.” Ashley tired into the glass, not really sure what she was waiting for or if she didn’t want to say it out loud.
“Where’s my brother?” Trish questioned as she sat across from Ashley on the other couch.
“He’ll be here soon.” Ashley exhaled sharply. Then she got a notification on her phone. A text. From Miles.
