Warnings: Angst
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You had spent most of the day sitting down on the couch with your laptop glued to your knees as you binged watched shitty shows, you honestly weren’t interested in any of them but they were useful since for a brief moment all of them were able to erase the conversation Jinyoung and you had from your head. Jackson had locked himself in one of your bedrooms as soon as he stepped into the apartment, he wasn’t mad at you or Jaebum but the frustration he felt was too big to easily deal with and he needed some time alone. When he was in one of those moods, Jackson was like an alive ticking bomb that would explode when you least expected, you had learned that the hard way and now knew to gave him the space and time he needed without bothering.
Jaebum, on the other hand, decided to stay around you.
Without starting any kind of conversation to break the silence between the two of you, Jaebum had simply claimed the seat next to yours on the couch as his. He had turned on the television and did the same thing you were doing on your laptop, somehow you guessed this was his way of not making you feel lonely, of telling you that no matter what Jinyoung had said to you, your place was still in this house with Jackson and him, that they still loved you despite the problems you might caused them in the future.
Even though in the exterior Jaebum seemed to be as calm and collected as ever, he was kind of tense and conflicted in the inside. Jinyoung was determined to cause some trouble in the relationship the three of you shared and after today’s events, he knew the male wouldn’t back up until the three of you had broken up or until your secret was revealed. Unfortunately, Jaebum wasn’t happy with any of those options and he was still hoping he could convince Jinyoung to leave you and Jackson alone, to not blame them for the awful decisions he took in the past about their relationship. Jaebum regretted now ending things the way he did, he closed his eyes, the memory of that exact day coming back as if it had happened tomorrow.
*Flashback*
Jaebum and Jinyoung had been left alone in the practice room, the both of them sitting on the floor exhausted as the looked at their reflections on the mirror. Jinyoung was the affectionate one in their relationship, he knew it was hard for Jaebum to talk about his feelings or express them and that’s why he was always the one to initiate physical contact or a conversation that had to do with their future.
Jinyoung had spent the whole day trying to think of a way of asking Jaebum out on a date. They still weren’t popular enough to not be able to go out by themselves and if the guys asked, they could just say they had some stuff to do together or something like that, Jaebum was good at making up excuses so that would be left to him. Taking a deep breath, Jinyoung looked up at Jaebum on the mirror, their eyes met and both of them spoke at the same time.
“I have something to tell you”
“We need to talk”
Now, Jinyoung may not have too much dating experience but he knew by the dramas he had seen that those words were never a good sign. His stomach started twisting in small knots as his fingers started nervously playing with the hem of his hoodie, Jinyoung nodded, quietly signaling for Jaebum to keep talking but the other just shook his head.
“You first” Jaebum said, looking as nervous as he did.
Call Jaebum coward but he really wasn’t looking forward to break his best friend’s heart. After a whole night of no rest and thinking, Jaebum had come up with the conclusion of their relationship not being possible. The scandals that would appear if somebody ever saw them together would definitely end their career and break the amazing group the company had formed and called GOT7, he hadn’t worked so hard during his whole teenage years to ruin everything because of a small, childish crush.
Jinyoung would understand for sure, he had to.
“Okay, uh…” Jinyoung distracted his shaky hands by twisting the hem of his hoodie, his eyes darting nervously to Jaebum and then back to the floor “I thought we could go out for lunch tomorrow...Together? Or maybe to the arcade when practice is over? Just have some fun, you know?”
“Sure” Jaebum accepted quickly, Jinyoung smiled relieved “Maybe we could tell Youngjae or Yugyeom and Bambam, they seem to be a little stressed la-”
“I...I said us...Just, you and me, you know?” Jinyoung insisted, Jaebum sighed.
“As friends right?” Jaebum asked, he didn’t really know how to speak the words echoing in his mind without hurting Jinyoung so he was just hoping that the latter would get the clue.
Jinyoung felt as if his heart broke a little when Jaebum spoke again, he didn’t want to be friends, hadn’t they made their feelings clear already? Why was he backing off all of a sudden? “What?” He asked, a small frown on his face “Why? D-Did I do something?”
Jaebum shook his head, this time, he was the one that looked down to the floor “No, I just...It’s just better if we don’t...If we are just friends, you know? Better for the group, for the company and for everyone else” He muttered clearing his throat awkwardly, too ashamed of what was he saying to speak with Jinyoung.
“We could keep it as a secret” Jinyoung tried, not wanting to let their relationship go “Nobody would have to know, it would be our secret”
“Secrets always end up being revealed Jinyoung” Jaebum said, standing up already heading to the door “This will only cause us more trouble”
After those words, Jinyoung was left alone in the practice room staring at his own reflection as he watched tears rolling down his cheek, as he watched how his heart had been broken in mere seconds.
“Jaebum? Hey?” Jackson snapped his fingers in front of his boyfriend face for the umpteenth time in merely five seconds, getting slightly frustrated at the lack of attention the other male was paying him.
Jaebum, still with a dazed look on his face, finally looked up at Jackson “(Y/N) and I just asked you if you felt like having some fried chicken for dinner?”
“Or you prefer pizza?” You asked glancing at him
“You guys choose whatever you want, I’m not that hungry”
Right in the moment you realized there was something wrong with Jaebum. You had lived with both of them for enough time to know that when one of them wasn’t hungry then that meant there was something bothering them, that there was something stuck in their heads which was worrying them enough to take away their appetite. Jackson shrugged and picked his phone from the coffee table, calling your favorite fried chicken place to order some while you leaned back against the couch, eyes glued to Jaebum’s expression trying to guess what was wrong.
“Everything okay?” You asked hugging your pillow, putting your laptop away to pay attention to him
Jaebum sighed “Just have to figure out how to solve this issue” He muttered running his fingers through his hair
“There’s nothing to solve here Jaebum, either Jinyoung accepts who we are and what we are or he doesn’t” You replied looking to the television, speaking out your thoughts for the first time “And if he doesn’t, I’m ready to go down putting up a fight, are you not?” You had expected him to answer, confident in himself like he always was but instead silence welcomed you. Frowning, you turned your head to face Jaebum but he was just looking down at his hands, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
“Jaebum?” You asked quietly
“It’s more complicated than just that (Y/N)” He said sounding frustrated, tired, exasperated. Honestly, Jaebum didn’t know what to do in this kind of situation, Jinyoung seemed pretty determined to ruin whatever they had even if that meant taking the whole group down with him but could he really choose between his career and you? Jaebum wasn’t too sure about it.
“But you-”
“I ordered chicken!”
Jackson, who had been listening to the brief exchange in the kitchen, interrupted the conversation before another argument could be started. This was obviously the biggest crisis the relationship the three of you had was going through and none of you knew who to handled it. Jackson truly realized this was serious when Jaebum, the most calm one out of the three of you, seemed to be on edge too about to explode if somebody pressured him too much. Willing to not hurt you anymore, Jackson got in between the conversation you and Jaebum were having, just the confused and stressed look on your face when Jaebum didn’t reply to your conversation was enough to shatter his heart into small pieces. You didn’t deserve this, why things had to go incredibly wrong now that they seemed to be getting better? What was Jinyoung’s problem anyways? Whatever the answers to those questions were, Jackson was determined to find a solution, one in which the three of you would have your happily ever after.
Dinner was more of the same. Whenever the three of you ate together the time during the meal was usually lively, kind of noisy too since the boys and you shared anecdotes and stuff you three had done during the day. Laughter was what filled your kitchen but tonight it was full of silence, awkward glanced and clearing of throats as attempt to break the silent spell between you and your two boyfriends.
The roles between the guys seemed to change once again, for the worse this time. Jaebum was back to being cold and distant, too busy with his own thoughts to even follow the random conversation Jackson was trying to keep up. On the other hand, Jackson was still being his lively self, keeping his frustrations hidden for another time as he desperately attempted to cheer the both of you up. It wasn't working though, at least for Jaebum who hadn't said a word since he sat down by the table.
Everything turned worse when Jackson brought up the wrong subject.
"Have you informed your boss about the tour yet?" Jackson asked "We have the green light from the company, they said you could come with us"
"Yeah" You said with a small smile "I explained the situation and he said I could go if I use all my free days and stuff" Looking at Jackson you saw his smile getting bigger "I need to think about which clothes to wear and stuff"
"Oh, that black dress that I love" Jackson said playfully, wiggling his eyebrows "And Jaebum and I are taking care of your underwear, right Jae?" He asked with a smirk, glancing at the other male
“I think it’s not a good idea to let you come with us”
Jaebum’s sudden words felt like somebody had poured an entire bucket of icy water over your head. Somehow, your subconscious had seen this coming, you knew Jinyoung’s behaviour was affecting Jaebum as much as you and that scared you so much that you couldn’t even bring yourself to look up at him in that moment. You heard Jackson scoffing besides you, seeing him lean back against his chair by the corner of your eyes.
“Yeah, we might as well ask Jinyoung what could we have for breakfast everyday or if he agrees on the positions we fuck” He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes “For fuck’s sake Jaebum, are you hearing yourself!? What the hell is wrong with you!?” He asked raising his tone, big mistake because he knew that nobody was allowed to yell at him. Jaebum might be calmer than him but he was way more intimidating and dominant than Jackson when it came to arguments and sex.
Jaebum lifted his eyes up from the plate and stare at Jackson “Bringing her would only make things worse Jackson” He said in a warning, threatening tone “The atmosphere would be tense as fuck and the rest of the group wouldn’t be comfortable! The staff would eventually notice something is odd and boom! Our secret is out, revealed and exposed thanks to us”
“Are you serious, right now?” Jackson asked shoving his plate away mad, you glanced at him worried. When Jaebum didn’t answer Jackson turned his head to look at you and sighed trying to calm himself down before speaking again “Kitten why don’t you wait for us in bed? Jaebum and I have some things to discuss”
You hesitated, it was obvious one of those issues were you and your relationship but Jackson had already stated that he didn’t want you to be there “If this is about us then I should discuss it with you guys, shouldn’t I?”
“(Y/N) please?” Jackson begged in a low, quiet tone “I’m just asking for a few minutes? When Jaebum and I come to a conclusion we will discuss it with you tomorrow” He muttered looking at you sadly, tiredly and frustrated “I promise we won’t make any decisions without you, I just need to talk some stuff out with him”
Sighing you nodded and stood up, not even picking up your plate to wash it, Jackson wanted you out of the kitchen as soon as possible, he hadn’t said this out loud but you knew him well enough to see that urgent, impatient spark in his eyes “Fine”
Like parents who were about to discuss their divorce with their kids around, Jackson waited until he heard you closing the door of the bedroom to start discussing with Jaebum, little did he know, that you had closed the door indeed but you had stayed outside in the hall where you would surely be able to listen to some moments of their conversation. They stayed quiet for a minute or two, you didn’t need to be there to know Jackson was probably staring intensely at Jaebum with his arms crossed as he leaned on the table, the faint scraping sound that you could hear came from Jaebum chopsticks as he ate and stared at his food simply to avoid Jackson’s mad glaring. The tension was palpable even outside the room and for a brief second you considered the possibility of going back in and attempt to ease things between both of them but one of your boyfriends decided to break the silence.
“You’re not going to fix this problem by staring at me” Jaebum was the first one to talk, his tone wasn’t as tense and threatening as before. It sounded lazy as if he had given up on the argument already. “Say what you want to say, I’m tired and I want to go to sleep”
“You sure ain’t going to solve the problem with that shitty attitude either” Jackson defended himself, still with his eyes glued to Jaebum “What’s your problem?”
“This whole situation is my problem Jackson” Jaebum replied without hesitating, shoving his plate away too
Jackson scoffed again “So? It’s her problem, it’s my problem too! Do you see us being jerks? No, right?” He asked sounding even more frustrated than before but keeping his voice low so you wouldn’t be able to hear him well “What I want to know is why, a few minutes ago you talked about her as if SHE was the problem, as if she was a burden to you”
“I just said bringing her along would make things worse”
Before you were gently kicked out of the kitchen, Jaebum’s words had unconsciously made you feel like a burden, as if you were the root of the problem but in order to not make things worse you had discarded it as quick as it appeared, blocking it and forgetting it. But now that you knew Jackson had heard it the same way as you, you knew it wasn’t something you had made up, it was something Jaebum had said with that intention.
“You know who makes things worse?” Jackson asked losing all his cool, ready to start a fight with Jaebum if he had to “Come on! It’s not a complicated question!”
“Jackson you don’t really know what’s going on here” Jaebum muttered pinching the bridge of his nose, avoiding to look at the other male to not lose his cool too “Like just...Let me think for a solution”
“A solution? We don’t need a fucking solution Jaebum!” Jackson raised his tone, punching the table hard enough to make you flinch “The solution is tell Jinyoung to fuck off because he’s just speaking bullshit! He got in her head Jaebum! You didn’t see how she was when I got there!”
“We DO need a solution Jackson! We can’t just...We...This wasn’t supposed to happen!”
“What do you mean?” Jackson asked frowning, looking at him extremely confused “We talked about telling the guys a lot of times! This would have happened eventually”
“I’m talking about US Jackson!” Jaebum spitted out. His frustration was talking for him but for some reason the male couldn’t stop himself and kept saying one thing after another without thinking about it too much “Jinyoung is right! What the fuck are we doing with our lives!? With our careers!? If we get caught is over, Jackson! Well be back to being nobodies, she will be a slut for the public eye! We got ourselves into such a huge mess without realizing it!”
“A mess huh?” Jackson’s voice was quiet and calm which was even more scary than when he was shouting “That’s how you view our relationship? A mess? A problem?”
“I didn’t mean it like that” Jaebum shook his head frustrated “You just don’t understand, you don’t get us”
“Us? So now you and Jinyoung are a thing?” Jackson scoffed, Jaebum groaned frustrated “You know what? You can sleep on the couch tonight, I really don’t want you to be talking more bullshit around OUR girlfriend and hurting her feelings even more”
“You know I can’t sleep there Jackson, my back hurts so much when-”
“You’re free to go back to the dorms too, you’re not getting in our bedroom tonight” Jackson repeated again in a really stern tone, looking into his eyes “And I swear to God Jaebum, you either stop acting like a jerk or I won’t hesitate to take her away from you, do no tempt me” Jackson threatened “Because I love you but I love her with all my heart too”
“Would you really kick me out like that? So easily?”
“Seems like your doubting about this relationship, we don’t need that”
“I want to stay, I want this to work but...Can’t you see it Jackson? If they find out about us, if they know what we’ve been doing...It’s over, we’re done...Our dreams are gone”
“There’s something you really need to think about Jaebum” Jackson said, walking out of the kitchen, shaking his head “Try to think what is more worth it, the fame you’ve worked for or the love you’ll never find again” He sighed, ready to get in bed “Talk to us when you find the answer”