#anissa rambles

[issalovescandyclouds]

Closed Tumblr just to reopen it

[namjoonchronicles]

i think i understand when finneas wrote ‘cause he made a little too much money to be 20 and sad’ and he lost a friend ‘like keys in the sofa, like wallet in the backseat’—its losing someone slowly and the pain only comes after you realise they were gone.

friend is a very subjective word and as you grow, the meaning changes. it went from ‘the person i share my color pencils with’ to ‘the person whom i trust to hold the door shut when i’m changing my cloth’ to ‘the person i tell everything to’ and then finally ‘to the person i want to succeed with’

but what happens when your friends succeeds first and you feel lacking? you feel like a boulder pulling them back at the ropes, and this connection you call friendship. you learn to let go. neither finneas or the friend is at fault. the other succeeds or is happy, but the other had to console themself to be patient.

we had the same hurdles, we had the same aspirations, we thrived and worked as hard, but only one succeeds—it becomes a competition. suddenly you can’t be friends because you see your flaws and how they’re in shiny shoes and you’re in sandal, torn on the sides. and then you see what you don’t have and how others see you with them.

sometimes you don’t want to break off that friendship, but you don’t feel the need to stay. its seeing how they can be a better person without you. its to realise that you’re not yet anything.

[issalovescandyclouds]

I don’t really like Lana Del Rey that much but I do like this song :p

[issalovescandyclouds]

I NEED him to tape me down

[issalovescandyclouds]

Computa, play Choso whimpering at max volume. And turn on noise cancellation.

[issalovescandyclouds]

“He’s 150 yrs old.” Idc I need that senior citizen

[issalovescandyclouds]

Me as soon as a single sapphic girl my age calls me pretty

[issalovescandyclouds]

I need Dick Grayson’s glute workout routine.