Locus slammed the mongoose into park, scowling as he approached the stopped Warthogs on the road. One job. He gave them one fucking job. Take the Warthogs, go from point A to point B. It should have been, by all counts, impossible to screw up. AND YET! Here he was, having to come to their rescue.
Unfortunate and worse, irritating.
At the very least, most of them had the good sense to keep their helmets on. The same could not be said of Donut and Neko, who were both helmetless and mid-conversation like it was a nice day in the park, not high value targets stopped in the middle of the road in a warzone. Not to mention Neko’s… frankly ridiculous perch across the top of the Warthog, legs wrapped around the barrel of the turret and his head on the windshield. Genuinely, what was that idiot doing? That couldn’t be a comfortable position to maintain, especially while talking to Donut who was leaning against the driver side of the vehicle.
Locus wondered if the sergeant would shoot him if he walked over there and threw a blow at Donut to prove a point. Agent Washington almost certainly would. Better not to risk it then, no matter how effective it would be at proving a point. Neko was a lost cause at this point, short of taking a blade to that ridiculously long braid, but there were some lines even Locus hesitated to cross. Actually, where was the sergeant? Or Pavoz for that matter?
He was so focused on the thought for a moment, Locus almost tripped over Lopez’s legs. The robot was half way underneath the other Warthog, no doubt checking for anything else that could be wrong. Locus’ half a stumble was easily brushed off as him nudging the brown calf plate to get Lopez’s attention.
"<You have my part?>" He asked as he pushed himself out from under the car. He was without his helmet as well, surprisingly. But forgivable, seeing as how the light under the Warthog remained steady enough to assume Lopez had been using his helmet as a light source. Lopez, despite being a robot or maybe because of it, was very quickly becoming the second most competent soldier in this group. If nothing else, at least Locus knew he wouldn't fuck around half as much as the rest of them. He pretended he didn't notice Neko's helmet hanging off the turret of the other Warthog.
"I do." Locus removed the mechanical component from the compartment in his chestplate, leaning down to hand it to Lopez.
"What happened?"
"<Dunno. Bad luck, from the looks of it. Or someone drove this thing over a fucking tree, and picked up a squirrel nest or twelve. It's a mess, but this,>" Lopez gestured the piece Locus brought, "<seems to be the only part that needs replacing to at least get this disaster on wheels to a base.>"
There was that, at least. Locus crossed his arms.
"How long?"
"<The rest of today, probably. I need to actually clear this shit out of the undercarriage or it's just going to cause more problems,>" Lopez rolled his eyes, a very human gesture set in a metal face. "<And even then, we won't be able to get moving again until morning. Sarge kept trying to start the damn thing and killed it's battery. It needs time to build up a solar charge before we jumpstart it with the other one.>"
Unfortunate.
At least the question of the sergeant and Pavoz was answered, as the pair of them came through the underbrush off the side of the road like they were summoned by Lopez mentioning Sarge by name.
"-make a Red out of you yet, boy!" Sarge laughed, clearly mid sentence as they rejoined the rest. Pavos nodded along, though how much he actually agreed with the conversation was debatable.
The sudden sound of a horn going off had every weapon in the vicinity raised in reaction, before the source became clear as the sound dragged out. Agent Washington's helmet rested on the wheel of the second Warthog, defeat written in the angle of his shoulders. Donut laughed at something, presumably the same thing Washington was reacting to. Neko looked smug, so safe to assume it was probably something he said.
Idiots. All of them.
Unfortunate.
I'm not immune to roadtrip arc, and Kimball does say the Federal Army of Chorus moved the Reds and Wash around a lot sooo like >> i'm just saying, it'd be a shame to not make Wash suffer through a red team roadtrip
Bonus, sometime the s12 finale and reveal of the armies:
felix's text is so much harder to read off my tablet screen than i thought it was fuck okay transcript time
Felix, while reaching for the radio: I'm gonna lose it if we do this entire drive in silence, I swear-
Locus: DO NOT
