@evcravens asked: 🔆 regency babeeeeeey
TW: mentions of drug overdose, death mentions, awkward pining
MENTIONED/APPEAR: @ofaguilar, @ofrosso, @deadvalentinagallo, @matthiaswarren, @priam-taravella, Pandora Phan, Roman Montague, Hazel Accardi, Alvise Vernon, Damiano Montague, Armand “Ajax” Giordano
Miss Ramona Aguilar and Miss Castora Aguilar, or “The Aguilar Girls”, as they were sometimes referred to in order to save time, were perhaps the most unlucky members of the ton, with Castora being a hare more unlucky than Ramona.
Their streak of rotten luck began about four-and-ten years ago when Castora’s father, Lorenzo, an unrepentant rake with neither the desire nor the capability to reform, left his wife and Uppercross estate, never to be heard from again. Uppercross then passed to Matteo, Ramona’s father; a widow of most gracious temperament; while this was bad luck for Miss Castora and her mother, Isabella, it was a pleasant turn of events for Matteo, a second son who was better suited to be first.
Isabella, as tender hearted as she was, did not bare the change in life circumstances well and soon departed the estate with Castora in tow. She had passed two years later from influenza at her parent’s home in the countryside (in the poorhouse). Castora returned to Uppercross as Matteo Aguilar’s ward and he promised to provide a dowry of 800 pounds per annum for her. It was a little less than Ramona’s dowry of 1,000 pounds per annum, but that was to be expected and was not malicious Matteo had only expected to provide a dowry for one girl, not two. If Castora ever took any insult to this, she didn’t remember it. She was simply too happy to be back at Uppercross, and in the company of her cousin’s Ramona and Andrés again.
“I do not need the money, uncle,” she had said. “For I promise I shall never marry unless it is for the greatest love, which I vow to never seek.” It would be an easy promise to keep, Castora had thought, already realizing at a young age that a poorer relation with an infamous father was not likely to draw a good sister. Ramona, already famed as a beauty, would be able to draw a rich husband and Castora could be a very happy spinster.
Whatever damage Lorenzo had done to the Aguilar reputation, Matteo had been able to undo it with some help from powerful friends, Lord Montague and Lord Vernon, and get his daughter and niece into the ton for the 1813 season the year both girls turned eight-and-ten. Everything was going as expected.
Ramona was hailed as the Incomparable, had a dance card full at every party, and managed to convince the newly minted Viscount Warren, the talk of the ton for his good looks and melancholy refusal to dance because of his grief over his father’s recent death, to dance with her. She’d befriended Miss Valentina Gallo, a half-feral girl whom Castora had insulted on their first meeting; the two had caused much scandal when they came dressed as men during Lord Vernon’s masque.
Castora caught the eye of Lady Pandora Phan, the wealthy daughter of a duke on her second Season, who took her under her wing when Castora said, perhaps too loudly, that she’d only marry in the case of two unlikely events: One) a year without rain in England; and two) the greatest love. It also helped that Castora was dear friends with Marcelo Rosso, the good friend of Lord Montague’s heir, Roman. She helped Pandora secure a betrothal to Roman during the second-to-last ball of the Season by bullying all his friends into dancing with her so that Pandora could dance with Roman.
Marcelo gladly whirled his “little sister” on the floor, but Bellamy needed to be strong armed, and quiet, sullen, proud Ajax who had barely spoken two words to her all Season and whom Castora was convinced hated her, practically had to be dragged onto the floor for a quadrille. His name was not Ajax, but everyone called him that, which Castora found to be odd, but she’d never overstep her place and ask for his real name.
During the last ball of the Season, Matteo Aguilar clutched his heart and fell to the ground. He joined his wife in the ground soon after. Neither Ramona nor Castora Aguilar ended up with a match. Andrés took over Uppercross and promised to care for his sister and cousin, but by next year he had died from influenza (in an opium den, a part of the story rapidly hushed by Castora, with the help of Miss Valentina, Lady Pandora, and Viscount Warren) and a quick look at the books revealed that Castora and Ramona’s dowries had disappeared (into the opium den.)
Uppercross was entailed to a distant cousin, who supplied them with a small allowance and agreed to let them stay in London for the Season in order to get them married. The Aguilar Girls were sometimes the talk of the ton, particular when Miss Castora almost broke Lord Priam Taravella’s nose with a pall-mall ball to the nose, but they had good, loyal friends in high places who would not let them be destitute. Ramona wrote letters to Viscount Warren nearly every day, and he wrote back just as quickly. They danced the first two dances – or, scandalously, the first three – at every ball, and a proposal was to come any day now.
Any. Day. Now. Castora would very much like to be a viscount’s sister-in-law (well, cousin-in-law, technically, but all knew that Miss Castora and Miss Ramona were as close as sisters). It’d be so much easier to sleep at night knowing Ramona was taken care of and she could embrace her destiny as a spinster.
But, for some God forsaken reason, that day did not come. It did not come during their third Season, nor by their fourth, and by their fifth – the last this distant cousin was willing to pay for – Castora was ready to drag them to a church and perform the ceremony herself. Her favorite evenings, a respite from her cousin’s romance, came at the gatherings Pandora would host at her and Roman’s lodgings.
She always bested everyone at whist, but never Ajax, Roman’s quiet friend whom she learned from Pandora had amassed a small fortune in the Navy, at whist. Apart from the fact that his back was always determinedly straight and the intense look in his green eyes, she wouldn’t have pegged him for a soldier – he was too quiet. When she mentioned this to Pandora, she laughed. “Oh, Ajax? He’s quiet, Castora, but he’s got a good humor. You should hear him talk about what adventures he and his ward, Hazel, get up to...”
It was then that she noticed that Ajax did talk in the company of their shared acquaintances – to Pandora, to Bellamy, sometimes with Matthias, at length with Roman, and even terse words with Marcelo. But never to her.
One day after he’d beat her at whist again, Castora had remarked, “If you’re going to beat me so often, you could at least tell me your name, so I can properly curse you.” His cheeks turned red, and he stood up and left the room. He came back, just ten minutes later, and entered into a rousing conversation with Roman, and Castora had come to realize that Ajax just didn’t like her, and well, if he didn’t like her, then she didn’t like him.
“I’d rather help you write a love letter than spend a minute with him, I swear,” she’d whined to Ramona once.
Then, one day, she woke up to find Ramona had left their London house with nothing but a brief note – Gone to Greta Green with Matthias. Love, your cousin – and Castora was ready to walk to Gretna Green on foot in order to murder her cousin. News of Ramona Aguilar and Matthias Warren’s elopement spread quickly, and suddenly Castora found herself in a very unfortunate position where her reputation was damaged by association and no one would believe that Castora – Ramona’s closest companion – knew nothing about these plans.
Said cousin wrote as soon as he heard the news that Castora, an associate of wanton wickedness, could no longer stay at the London residence. To make matters worse, no one had heard from Ramona nor Viscount Warren, leading doubts as to whether the pair had actually married at all.
--
In summation, that is why Castora Aguilar – penniless daughter of a vagabond, unwitting accomplice to an elopement, future murderess of Ramona Aguilar – considered herself the unluckiest member of the ton. And that is precisely what she told Pandora, having wound up sobbing in her hallway, in full view of her servants, with her things.
“You can stay as long as you need to,” Pandora said, pulling her friend out of the hall where any servants could see and gossip. She wiped away her tears. “I will fix this, Cas. I will find a way.”
Castora simply nodded, thankful to not have be turned out or go back to the poorhouse, but the tears kept flowing –– a rather odd, unsightly thing to witness from the elder Miss Aguilar, who hadn’t cried since her mother died. “What’s wrong, Cas?” Pandora asked, more alarmed than she already was.
“Nothing,” she sniffed. “It’s just –– I can never marry for love, now.” It was unlikely before the scandal, but now it would be nothing but a dream. Castora had never realized had badly she would have liked to be loved. “I cannot even marry for comfort. Who will want me, Pan? What can I give them? How...how will I live?” Perhaps if Ramona and Matthias returned as man and wife there would be hope for her, but there was no word. When a lady’s reputation is damaged, it is a stain that can never come out.
Pandora took her hand, “We will find a way.”
“I cannot take more from you than I already have,” Castora had insisted. It was a blow to her pride – always the poorer relation, always needing help from friends in higher placer. For once, she’d like to just be Castora and be comfortable and be enough.
“You only take what I willingly give.”
--
Two weeks later, Castora was trying to stave off a foul mood by reading a book in Pandora and Roman’s drawing room when Ajax bounds in. He had not stopped to take off his coat or his hat, and his brow was covered in sweat. He looked positively undone, like he was about to be sick.
“Roman and Pandora are calling on Lord Tomas and Lady Celeste,” she informed him matter-of-factly. “I can ring for tea, if you’d like?”
“No,” he said suddenly. “No,” he repeated softly.
“Would you like to wait for them?” Ajax looked her at like she was sprouting another head. Castora closed her book and made her way to the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To the library?”
“Why?”
“Because it looks like you’re going to wait here and I’d prefer to continue my book.”
He looked at her desperately. “But I’m hear to see you, Miss Aguilar.”
“Me?” Now she was looking at him like he was sprouting a second head. “Whatever for?”
He gestured for her to sit. She stood obstinately for a moment, before deciding to sit lest the man collapse. So, Castora sat and waited, but Ajax didn’t speak.
After a long, quiet moment, he opened his mouth and said, “I cannot hide my feelings anymore. I love you, most ardently and most fiercely.” It was a good thing she had heeded him and sat down, for Castora was quite certain she would have fainted. Instead she looked at him blankly. “I love you,” he repeated, as if she had not heard the first time. “I love you and I would like to marry you.”
She rolled her eyes, “This is Pandora’s doing, isn’t it?” It all made sense – a sudden proposal from a man in their social circle, not rich but could certainly keep Castora comfortable for her days, who could be persuaded to attempt to save the future of his dear friend’s wife’s friend.
Ajax looked at her dumbstruck. “What? No --”
“I’m not offended.” Well, maybe a little. “I know she wants to help, but you don’t need to throw yourself on this sword...with such verve.”
“Miss Aguilar, I think you misunderstand me.”
“It’s alright. I know she simply enlisted you to try to help me with my current predicament, and while I appreciate what you are doing for me, there is no need to say you love me.”
He was starting to get annoyed, “I am following no one’s will but my own. I love you and I want to marry you.”
“Love me?” Now Castora was well and truly offended. “You need not lie to me, sir. It is one thing to propose a marriage of convenience and of duty. It is another thing to lie about the matters of the heart.”
“I am not lying to you. I cared for you, and I have cared for you since the day I first laid eyes on you.”
She stood up suddenly, “But you don’t even like me!”
“How can you think that?”
“You don’t talk to me. You engage everyone in conversation, even Marcelo on occassion, but never me. You won’t tell me your name! And you never let me win at whist! If you loved you, you would’ve put me out of my misery and let me win at least one game.”
“Perhaps that’s because you’re not good enough.” He, quite noticeably didn’t know to answer the first part of her accusations. “What is you answer?”
For a moment, Castora forgot she was being proposed to. “No,” she said coldly. “If you had asked in a gentleman like manner and not pretended to have an attachment to me, then perhaps my answer would’ve been different.”
“I apologize. For being so presumptuous as to believe that you would--”
Someone by the doorway clears their throat. “What is going on in here?” Pandora asks. Roman is by her side, and almost just as confused as his wife.
“A proposal, apparently. Pandora, I appreciate what you are trying to do for me, but I could do without false protestations of love.”
Pandora’s eyes widen. “Oh, Cas...”
Castora looks between Pandora, Roman, and Ajax, realization dawning on her. Oh no. You’re really in love with me. This was a real proposal. This wasn’t a game. Her cheeks are bright red, and she wishes the floor would open up and swallow her whole.
Ajax lowers his head. “I should go. Apologies for intruding. Roman, Pandora.” He moves past Roman and Pandora to the hallway, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. Before Castora knows what she’s doing, she runs after him, grabbing him by the hand before he is able to open the door. Ajax stops cold in his tracks.
Castora doesn’t know what to do next, her hand in his. He looks at her with something like hope in his beautiful green eyes, and suddenly pulls her hand away. “I’m sorry. I did not know you were being earnest in your proposal to me. All that talk about love confused me and I was wrong to be offended by it. I see know that you were only saying it because you thought that would be the best way to make overtures without injuring my pride.”
“What?”
“I’d like to say yes. If you would still have me.”
She hopes he says yes. This is perhaps her only chance to avoid ruin.
“Yes. I would -- that would be....suitable,” he says. “I’m sorry for saying that I loved you. I should have realized it would be the wrong approach.
He leaves and Castora feels like she’s had the wind knocked out of her. Oh, yes, I’m definitely going to wring Ramona’s neck next time I see her.
--
The wedding is slated for a month from tomorrow. Roman and Pandora Montague publicly supported the match, so the rest of the ton falls in line and whispers about the match behind Castora’s back. She pretends not to notice. Soon-to-be-married ladies with less-than-perfect reputations cannot wack people with pall mall mallets.
There is a garden party and she’s taking a turn about the room with her future husband. They’re walking silently arm-in-arm. If there is anything Castora has realized about Ajax recently it’s that he’s actually quite handsome. The pair were both pretending like the love confession never happened.
“Lovely weather today,” Castora remarks insipidly. Ajax nods in agreement, but says nothing. This is why she had wanted to marry for love – to have someone to talk to. Loneliness she could bare, but not the quiet. But it was different with Ajax. The awkwardness was still there, but the silences were comfortable. She could get used to his quiet.
“Can I ask you something?” Ajax looks like he’s about to be ill, but nods. “Can you tell me why I can’t beat you at whist?” He almost smiles. It was a rare sight, to see Ajax smiling. She felt a flutter of pride that she could bring one to his face.
“It depends on the game. Some days you overexert yourself, thinking about what my strategy could be. And then there are days you are so impatient that you make silly mistakes.”
“Yes, that all makes sense, but how can I beat you?”
He smiles again. “You’ll learn one day.”
“Can I learn your name, then? I suppose I should not find out what you are called at the altar.”
Ajax thinks for a second. “Armand. My name is Armand, but I would prefer if you continued to call me Ajax, Miss Aguilar.”
Armand, she thinks. The name would sound lovely rolling off her tongue.
She nods. “You can call me Castora, if you like. Since we are to be wed, I think it only reasonable.”
--
Ajax escorts her back to Pandora and Roman’s home. When they return, the is a solicitor named Mr. Fredericks who insists that he’d like to see her in the drawing room. Then, he presents her with documents and says, “Miss Aguilar, I represent an individual who has bequeathed you 50,000 pounds.”
Castora and Ajax’s jaws drop. “You must be mistaken.”
“I’m not. Believe me, I double and triple checked with my client regarding this matter. He’s quite insistent in leaving you this sum.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. He wouldn’t say. All he said is that a Miss Castora Maria Aguilar, daughter of Isabella, who currently resides in London with Lord and Lady Montague is to receive this sum.” He takes a good, long look at her. “I have my theories though.”
“What theories?”
“I’d prefer to keep them to myself.”
Ajax cuts in. “Who is this individual?”
“He would prefer to remain anonymous, particularly as he is still living.”
“Can I find out who he is when he dies?”
Mr. Fredericks shrugs. “Perhaps, although that may not be for some time.”
They see Mr. Fredericks out and return to the drawing room. Castora is rich, and she’s smiling so brightly her face is starting to hurt.
“Pandora and Roman will be back soon. I’ll inform them upon the return about the wedding.”
“What about the wedding?”
“...You don’t wish to end our engagement?”
“No, whatever for?”
“You are rescued, Castora. You no longer need me.”
Her heart sinks in her chest. She should have realized that he would have no longer wanted to marry her now that he no longer had to, particularly after she offended him so.
“I see no wish to bring further scandal to my name, and the wedding is one month. But if you wish to break the engagement, I promise I will not be offended. I have....some 50,000 pounds to cushion the blow.”
“I would...like to continue.”
“Then we are in agreement....would you like to play a game of whist?”
He nods and sits down at the table across from her, taking out a deck of cards. They play with hearts first. He beats her six times in a row before she insists they stop.
--
The wedding day comes and goes without major fuss. Marcelo walks her down the aisle, glaring at Ajax the whole way. Pandora smiles for her. Ajax’s ward, Hazel, looks at Castora like she doesn’t quite know what to do with her. Castora and Ajax say their vows, and she thinks they’ll both mean them. Even if they won’t ever be in love with each other, for how could he love her after his first proposal, they would be loyal.
When the wedding night comes, Ajax takes her back to his lodgings. Hazel is spending the evening with some friends in town, so they have the place all to themselves. “I figured it would be best to wait until the marriage to look for new lodgings.” A good idea, considering Castora’s sudden inheritance.
Later, he shows her to an empty bedroom and places her luggage on the floor. “We can figure out precise arrangements later. Good night, Castora.”
He turns to leave. She looks at him perplexed. “Is this not your room?”
“No. Mine to the left.”
“So -- are we not to...to.....” Castora blushes, rarely at a loss for words. “To consummate the marriage, Ajax?”
He looks at her as if she’s struck him. “There is no need to.”
“Why the devil not?”
Ajax doesn’t answer. He just leaves, closing the door behind him.
--
Castora cannot sleep. She’s tried, but not matter what she does, all her thoughts are of Ajax and why he didn’t want them to share a bed tonight.
At half past two, she knocks on Ajax’s bedroom loudly. Her husband answers. “Did I wake you?”
“No.”
“Good. You didn’t answer my question. Why the devil not?”
He looks pained. “Please, Castora.”
“I don’t want you to share your bed with me if you don’t want to. I just want an explanation.”
“Because I love you, and I know you do not return my feelings, so I would prefer...I would prefer it if you did not break my heart.”
This is the first time they’ve spoken about the proposal since it happened. Castora is thankful it’s dark so he cannot see her shame.
“Still?” Castora doesn’t know what to say.
“Still.”
“I don’t want to break your heart,” she replies. “Can I come in, please? We do not need to share a bed, but it’s awkward to talk like this.” He moves aside and lets her in, her hand brushing his. She sits on the edge of the bed. There is a long moment of quiet before she says, “I do not want to break your heart. I didn’t...I didn’t even realize I was in possession of it.”
“You have been for years, Castora.” He’s not angry. It’s just a fact to him at this point. “Ever since that first day we met. Do you remember?”
Castora is surprised that she does. “Yes. It was my first season, when Pandora and Roman were still courting. We danced a quadrille, I believe. Lord Montague had introduced us earlier that evening.”
“He did. I had asked Roman to ask him to.”
“Why?” She laughed, unable to fathom why he would want to meet her.
“Your cousin had been declared the Incomparable of the Season, yes? And there was a lot of disappointment that she hadn’t secured a proposal at that point.”
“I remember.”
“And someone, I forget who, made a comment that perhaps the only way in which Ramona was the Incomparable was an Incomparable Failure. So, you---”
“So I told her that no, that role had been already filled by her.”
“And that Ramona was the Incomparable in every sense except for rapier wit and excellent penmenship, which was why she kept you around.” Ajax shrugged. “I--you love her so much, and you never stood by when people gossiped about you. It was...impossible not to love you. But, uh, Pandora told me that you would only marry for the greatest love, and I would never presume that I could give you that.”
Oh, how Castora wished she had never made that vow, even if it was half in jest. She’d forgotten how sharp her words could be, how easily they hurt. “You know, I also vowed to marry unless it didn’t rain in England for a year.”
“My point.”
“Do you know why I made that vow?” He shakes his head. “My father was not a good man; he lied, cheated, stole and abandoned my mother and I. She died in a poorhouse, but she loved him. She loved him to the very end, never losing hope that he would come for her, for us. I saw what insufficient love does, so I never wanted it. If I was ever to risk the dangers of matrimony, it would have to be for a love that would be steady, like a candle that would burn and never go out. It would have to be for a love that I could never deserve.”
She takes his head and kisses it. “I’m frightened, too. Frightened of what love would do to me, if it would destroy me like it did my mother. She wasn’t strong enough. And...And I know that I’m already half in love with you. I can’t give you tonight, or tomorrow, but I know I’ll been in love with you soon, and I-- I don’t want it to be too late. It’d be just my luck – the second I fall in love, you will have given up on me, Armand.” It slips out by accident. “Sorry, Ajax.”
“I like it when you say my name.” He looks at her and Castora feels seen since the first time in ages. “I promise not to break your heart if you won’t break mine.”
“Deal.” Castora leans in and kisses him. He startles, then pulls her close and kisses her back. Unlike their wedding ceremony, this kiss is only for them. Just for Castora and just for Armand.
--
Two weeks after the wedding, her maid informs her she has visitors in the drawing room. Castora comes downstairs to find Ramona and a sheepish Viscount Warren sitting in her drawing room. The cousin’s run into each other arms for a big hug. This was the longest they’d be apart in years and Castora hadn’t realized how badly her heart ached. “I can’t believe you got married without me, Castora Maria Aguilar. Well, I suppose it’s Giordano now, isn’t it?”
“It is. Are you still Aguilar, or are you Ramona Warren?”
“Warren.”
“Very well then. Ramona Cecelia Warren, I’m going to murder you.”
Ramona and Matthias both look a little afraid. “How dare you run off to Gretna Green without telling me! And how dare you both take a month and a half to return without sending word! Do you know what you put me through?”
“We didn’t want to wait! And with the dowry situation ––”
“I don’t give two figs about the dowry situation! He’s a bloody viscount, Mona, he could afford to marry a woman with no fortune! I, on the other hand, could not afford to be a woman without a fortune and no reputation! And why did you not come home earlier?”
“But we got married the second we got to Gretna Green! I wrote to you. Oh, the letters must have been waylaid. You know my penmanship is awful, Castora! And when Matthias’s cousin’s heard we were in Scotland, they invited us to stay and---”
"Yes, yes,” Castora says impatiently, “And with the letters not arriving, you didn’t realize what a fuss it would cause.”
“Something like that,” Ramona replies. “Now tell me, dear cuz, what else did I miss?”
Castora smiles wickedly, “I’ll write you a letter and make you wait a month and a half to read it.”