Saw a tweet that said “if you don’t open your buttcheeks to the water during a shower, you shouldn’t be giving any life advice” which has me wondering which of the crew + Vi do that, if any of them. I need to know if Silco is able to give life advice based on these parameters alone.
This tweet is on to something and I agree 100%.
Re: Silco and the crew + Vi
Silco: Yes - he's actually a bit neurotic when it comes to keeping folds, cracks and orifices clean in general. So this guy's probably doing some absolutely unhinged yoga positions in the shower to really get that water up there if he needs it. He also has one of those handhelds for really intense washing sessions.
Bonus: it lets him control the stream and keep water out of his bad eye.
Sevika: Her sense of smell is ten times more acute than ordinary people - she can determine with a whiff what you had for lunch, when you last brushed your teeth, how many times you've recycled your socks, etc. With that in mind, she has a low threshold for stench, and makes it a point to wash every day.
I say 'wash', not shower, because like many of her compatriots, running water was a rare luxury. She makes do with a big metal tub, a heavy-duty scrub brush, soap and hot water. Everything gets scoured, cheeks included.
Also it's easier to perform maintenance on her prosthetic this way.
Lock: He's not a fan of showers in general; more a bucket of hot water, a stool, a bar of soap and sponge kind of guy. He grew up in an environment with limited running water and has grown accustomed to low maintenance type of cleanliness. So unless he knows he's getting lucky, or has had an extremely rigorous sparring match, he just uses the aforementioned set up. No cheek-spreading prioritized.
Ran: Showers twice a week. They're one of those freaks of nature with low oil production, so they rarely reek like some of their compatriots. Also they're accustomed to a lifestyle with minimal access to washing facilities, so keeping clean usually just means tidy hands, combed hair, a good toothbrushing regimen, plus a washcloth where it counts on a daily basis.
Cheeks are rarely spread unless it's the height of summer, and they feel they really need it.
Dustin: Showers when Sevika orders him to. Otherwise it's once a week... maybe. His olfactory receptors are dead and his hygiene regimen mostly hinges on whether or not he'll be around the Boss that day. Yes, your boy can go three weeks wearing the same clothes, slathering on layer after layer of cheap cologne, and still think he's a suave motherfucker. At some point, Sevika gets fed up with the reek, and shoves him into the bathroom before locking the door. He won't be allowed out until there's no longer any risk of contagion from coming near him.
Bonus: when Dustin does actually wash, he bathes in an antique clawfoot tub in his grandma's apartment, and will use anything as long as it has bubbles. Soap? Good. Body wash? Better. Dish detergent? Excellent! Just as long as it foams up, he's in.
As for cheek-spreading...meh. Most likely, he'll only scrub what he sees.
Vi: Oh hell yeah, this gal will pull her cheeks apart and wash every bit of her nether regions during a long hot shower. She learned in Stillwater that cleanliness is not guaranteed and so now takes advantage whenever she can.
Also, of Silco's entire crew, she and the boss are neck-and-neck for their obsessive love of showering. In the summer, that can be as often as twice a day.
Jinx: Has a deep-seated dread of stagnant water. As a little girl, she'd wash with Vi in the same tub, with her sister doing most of the shampooing and rinsing. When Silco took her in, she'd legit leave the door ajar and ask him to stay in the adjacent room while she splashed away, consoled by the sound of his voice nearby.
Naturally, Silco ordered the tub removed and a shower installed, because what the hell is this nursery room bullshit? He's a busy man with things to do.
The shower is a replica of his own - detachable head with adjustable settings; lots of different temperatures and massaging effects.
Jinx has only used it five times in seven years.
Mostly she makes do with 'bird baths' i.e. undressing next to the basin, then pouring a disinfectant solution from the mines called Aqua Del Pillar - one part water, two parts lye - over herself before scrubbing with a washcloth . The solution doubles as a styptic for the days when her tattoos were fresh, as well as for removing bacteria and accumulated dirt from her gunpowder-encrusted hair. For every half-liter of aqua del pillar consumed, approximately a pound of toxins is stripped from her pores. Her hair is washed separately over a clean bucket thrice a week, with a concoction made from finely pulverized rosemary, sage and lemon. After rinsing, she brushes her hair with coconut oil to detangle.
As far as spreading the cheeks... yes.
Absolutely yes.
But only if she plans on wearing very fitted shorts that day.
