CW: descriptions of depression, mentioned limb loss
"Thank you." A saucer of tea was slid across the table and into Theryn's space before he even had the chance to ask for it. Caeus knew him far too well. It was still blissfully hot when he took a sip and Caeus sat across from him with a saucer and cup of his own. His long fingers drummed against the table as he seemed to debate whether or not to leave the room's elephant unaddressed.
"So…" Caeus began. "How is he?"
Theryn drew in a deep breath and gently scratched at his stubble. "He… isn't well." He blew out a heavy sigh after, his hand raking through his hair instead. "The healers say that he's improving with each day, but… they aren't the ones that have to come home to him, Cae. They don't see him as I do. He's miserable. He doesn't sleep, he barely eats. And when he does, it's because I make him."
Caeus looked upon him with pity, setting his saucer and cup aside to instead reach across the table. He took Theryn's hand into his own. "It's been weeks, I know, but… if the healers say he's to improve, then who we are we to doubt them, hm?"
Perhaps Caeus was right in thinking as such, but still, it left a sour taste in Theryn's mouth. As if his friend was only saying what he thought Theryn wanted to hear. His own tea was left forgotten to chill. "You haven't the slightest clue how bad it gets and neither do they." A frown curved his lips at the corners as he shook his head. "I catch him crying at night sometimes, claiming that it still hurts. You know… the one he lost.” In emphasis, his hand leapt to his own arm, and it stayed there as if the contact brought him comfort. “Most days, he won't so much as look at me. When he does, it's as if he's afraid of what he sees, and… I don't blame him. I know it can't have been easy, whatever he went through, but—"
"But you deserve happiness too," Caeus finished for him. Theryn wanted to refute it on instinct, to insist that he shouldn’t be thinking of himself while his husband suffered, but wasn't that the truth?
"I'm his husband."
"And yet you're so much more than that. You're his husband, yes, but you aren't meant to be his caretaker forever. You're… utterly brilliant. A mind on you sharper than the swords of most. The potential you possess is astounding." It was so very like Caeus to flatter him when he was feeling down, though he desperately pushed aside the way those words left something fluttering in his chest.
"I…" The words caught in Theryn's throat. "I don't know what to do."
Caeus huffed a soft sigh and gave Theryn's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Give him time," he repeated. "Have him continue to see his healers each week and perhaps, in time, improvement will show. But Ari has to want to get better. I've known many men who've lost limbs — most to war — and none have acted as he has."
"I know. It's just that—"
"Sooner or later, you must open your eyes, Theryn." Caeus's voice was firm, though it wasn't raised, and a deep ache settled in Theryn's chest. "Do not let yourself be buried beneath his grief. And if he isn't willing to better himself for you, then why should you continue to reward him with grace? Do you reward the dog that wallows in his own piss too?" Theryn frowned deeply at him, though… perhaps, in some twisted way, Caeus was right. Another squeeze was offered, Caeus's hand warm against his own as he said, "Just something for you to think on."
