#aroacemisia

[rjalker]

Allos-cubed are like "Aroaces can still date and have sex!" as an excuse to erase the identity of aroace characters who explicitly do not want to do those things, but then the second an aroace or character *does* do those things, the allos-cubed insist it proves they cannot possibly be aroace.

And then meanwhile Not Hikaru hasn't even done any of those things but the allos-cubed are *still* insisting that their headcanons "prove" that Not Hikaru can't possibly be aroace.

[rjalker]

damn. I was so excited for the new ace flag, but arospec aces are represented by the pink stripe for love, and I just checked, and the creator's response to aro people pointing out that this is a problem is to brush them off and say "you should unlearn the western idea of love, and then you won't be upset by this"

which is just flat out aromisia and belittling as hell. Especially when the flag is meant to represent multiculturalism and intersectionality. The stripe is literally pink for love. A western symbol. But then if you're aro and don't like being represented by the color of love, it's only because you have a western mindset?????? That is just blatant hypocracy.

and the creator has specifically said she *doesn't* give permission for people to change the shades of the colors unless the whole entire thing is getting changed at once, so you can't edit it to make it more accesible, cuz the "final" version right now is eyeburning almost on par with the usual intersex flag.

i don't feel like making an instagram account just to bring up the innaccessability, and other people have already brought up the aromisia, and I don't know how substack works.

Apparently there were tons and tons of surveys and polls about this. If that's true, how is the final version *this* eyeburning, and this belittling and erasing of aro aces?

I also just don't understand the purpose of attempting to reject the AVEN original ace flag, (for valid reasons. Why the hell does the white stripe officially stand for allies???) but then clearly just doing that again with two extra colors.

sigh

Once again. to the Queer community in general and especially those who make pride flags:

Please remember that disabled people exist. You should pretty much never be using full saturation, and if you want your flag to be accessible, you need to talk to lots of disabled people with photosensitivity to make sure it's not going to cause us migraines or seizures.

There's a reason the disability pride flag was almost immediately changed to be less saturated, and it's because the original *was causing seizures*

I'm just very bitter that aroaces always seem to get the short end of the stick whether it's in the ace or aro communities.

And no one ever wants to remember that disabled people also exist in these communities, and deserve to not be caused pain by trying to interact with the symbol that's supposed to represent us.

Editing to add the next day: There is no reason for any of this to be set in stone. This flag has already been changed from its original pastel form to this. It can change again. Nothing is stopping it from doing so if it's meant to actually be inclusive and intersectional and able to be something the whole entire asexual community can use.

But that won't happen if aroaces continue to be ignored and dismissed, and the inaccessability continues to be ignored and defended.

[rjalker]

[ID: A picture of Murderbot in its armour, holding up a sign that reads, "Days since people have lied about The Murderbot Diaries not being the bioessentialist nonbinary/aspec robot stereotype: 0". End ID.]

Lying to people about the representation in this series not being just the same old tired stereotypes isn't going to make people thank you, it's going to make them feel betrayed and pissed off at you because you've fucking betrayed their trust and lied to get them to read books that are everything they wanted to avoid: Biologically essentially stereotypes that say the only way to be nonbinary or aspec is to literally lack genitalia.

I have literally seen so many people who feel betrayed because this fandom lied to them about this shit and now they never want to look at the books or fandom again.

Stop fucking lying to people about this series being more progressive than it really is. The only reason Murderbot is nonbinary and aroace is because Martha Wells thinks the only way to be nonbinary or aroace is to literally lack genitals. It is literally just more biological essentialism. It is literally just the exact same tired old nonbinary / aspec robot stereotype all over again.

Just because you like the harmfully stereotyped character does not mean it's not a harmful stereotype.

And stop lying about "Murderbot actively rejecting gender" it has done no such thing. It is literally just Martha Wells' biological essentialism. Murderbot has "actively rejected" jack fucking shit. It was assigned genderless because of its lack of genitals and just goes along with that because as a character it represents Martha Wells' shitty, bioessentialist views of gender and sexuality.

[rjalker]

The fact that Martha Wells is equating "lacks genitals" with "must be aroace" is just fucking absurd. Last time I fucking checked, attraction isn't stored in the genitals. People who've been injured in their genitals still experience attraction to people. So she's just adding ableism to the bio-essentialist aroacemisic stereotype by desexualizing people. But that's what being a bigot will get you.

[rjalker]

absolutely absurd that people in 2024 are demanding that posts about being aroace not be tagged with aromatic or asexual. And we're supposed to pretend that this is a progressive stance to have.

[rjalker]

"I'm ace myself so that's why it's okay for me to claim that other people fighting back against aroacemisia (in particular) are all just hysterical and screaming for no reason!"

yeah congrats you're amisic. Why do you think being ace means it's okay for you to demonize the aspec people who are actually taking the time to fight for all of us?

[rjalker]

[ID: The asexual, aroace, and aromantic pride flags next to eachother, with text over top reading, "Asexual and aromantic are umbrella terms that represent every single person who identifies with them. You do not get to tell people they don't belong just because they don't fit your personal arbitrary definitions of what asexuality or aromanticism 'really' are or 'really' include. You do not get to define other people's orientations or experiences for them. You do not get to tell someone that something is 'only' an aromantic or 'only' an asexual experience.". End ID.]

Stop telling people they're not allowed to tag their posts as "aromantic" or "asexual" or "aroace" because you have decided that their personal experiences have nothing to do with what they've tagged their own post.

You are not the arbiter of what aromanticism and asexuality "really" mean. They mean different things to every person who experiences them.

You do not get to force your arbitrary definitions of what an aromantic or asexual or aroace experience "really is" onto anyone else.

Stop trying to exclude people from the literal gods damned terms that represent the entire community because you think they don't fit into your arbitrary definitions enough to be allowed in.

If you hate the diversity of experiences in the aromantic and asexual communities, you have a personal problem you need to deal with. And you do not get to exclude anyone else because of it.

The split attraction model is not mandatory.

Stop erasing and speaking over non-SAM aros aces and aroaces. You literally do not get to define our experiences for us.

Stop excluding people from the community for failing to live up to your arbitrary and strictly defined definitions.

Exclusionism will never help anyone.

[rjalker]

"what does not wanting to date have to do with being ace?!?!"

"what does not wanting to have sex with people have to do with being aro?!?!"

The current amisic stance is just as ridiculous as it sounds.

It's 2024 and people hate aroaces and non-SAM aros and aces so much they're literally trying to define us out of asexuality and aromanticism because they want the asexual and aromantic tags to literally be For Allos Only. I'm not even fucking joking.

the split attraction model is not mandatory. You literally do not ever get to demand people use it.

The asexual tag is for literally every single asexual person in existance. Not just allo aces.

the aromantic tags is for every single aromantic person I existance. Not just allo aros.

You do not get to ban aroaces and non-SAM aros and aces from using the main general tags for the fucking community just because you're allo and completely separate your romantic attraction from your sexual attraction.

Your experiences are not universal.

There is no fucking definition in existence that separates sexual and romantic attraction.

You literally do not have the right or ability to define other people's orientations or experiences to them.

"well I can easily separate my sexual attraction from romantic, so that means everyone can!"

No we fucking can't and newsflash, asshole, we're literally not even required to try! No other fucking orientation comes with the demand to forcibly separate sexual from romantic attraction. The fact that you think it's okay to demand this of aspec people just shows you're blatantly amisic.

The allo aros and allo ace tags exist. Use them if you hate seeing aroaces and non-SAM aros and aces existing so much.

If you hate seeing posts in the aromantic and asexual tags that don't conform to your personal definitions of asexuality and aromanticism that is literally just too fucking bad. Suck it up you whiny fucking self entitled brat. The world does not revolve around you.

If you hate aces and aros and aroaces so much you want to define us out of the aspec community to make sure allos are the only ones allowed...you will be the laughing stock of the whole fucking community. Get over yourself.