#asexual arguments

[privilegedenyingasexuals-blog]

You know, just while I'm at it.

I hate the Tumblr asexual community. I hate the concept of demisexuality. I hate ~queer heteroromantic asexuals~. I hate people who think not wanting to have sex in and of itself makes them just as oppressed as LGBT people. I hate the appropriation of the pink triangle.

But if there is one thing I hate more than Tumblr asexuals, it's off-Tumblr Tumblr sexuals. By which I mean sexual people who use Tumblr, taking their Tumblr politics onto other sites like Livejournal and Dreamwidth. These people are all wound up and ready to pounce every time the word "asexual" is so much as whispered.

"Why do asexuals have to be such special snowflakes?" they'll demand the instant they see the slightest discussion of asexuality crop up. "Why do they always have to play Oppression Olympics and act like they're more oppressed than queers? Ugh, demisexuality is so stupid!" they will add, even if nobody had even mentioned demisexuality up until this point.

When you do this, if you do this, you are the problem, not the innocent non-Tumblr asexuals you just jumped all over for no reason. When you bust out the "Queers are more oppressed than asexies!" line even when nobody had been claiming otherwise, you are the one playing Oppression Olympics.

Just some food for thought.

[privilegedenyingasexuals-blog]

And now for something completely different.

Usually I post about asexuals being idiots. Today I'm going to post about sexuals being idiots. This is because, contrary to popular belief, I do not hate asexuals. I hate stupid asexuals -- I hate stupid people, period.

So I'm hanging around on a certain anon community when I see a link to a post someone's made on Plurk (Plurk being what would happen if Twitter and Disqus had a baby).

so apparently you can be an ace and still masturbate. this makes no fucking sense to me.

you're still being sexual! you're just doing it by yourself. it's like saying i'm aurinic because i can't piss in a public urinal

And from there it basically devolved into a bunch of pissing and moaning about how people who masturbate cannot be considered asexual omg!!

(It should be noted that the two most vocal people in this post are one of those middle-class white cis gay guys who thinks he speaks for the entire LGBTQ community, and a woman who was trolled viciously by certain Tumblr asexies and then decided that those people's actions should reflect on every asexual ever.)

Guys, we need to decide on the definition of "asexual" here. While operating this blog, I was going by the assumption that the "-sexual" in hetero, homo, bi, pan, and a-sexual referred to the gender(s) one was attracted to; hence, a man attracted to a woman or a woman attracted to a man is heterosexual, regardless of whether that attraction is romantic or sexual. Although I admit, I did dumb it down and use words like "heteroromantic" because otherwise I would have spent all my time explaining myself to dumbasses hellbent on missing the point.

But if the "sexual" actually does mean that one has sexual urges, and therefore someone who masturbates is not asexual even if they aren't attracted to anyone, this breaks down.

What exactly are the definitions we're using?

[lantean]

The People Who Think Only Some Asexuals Are Queer.

If these people saw Asexuality as an actual sexual orientation, they would look at it as a whole and decide how they felt about it from there (hopefully become an ally). But they don't see it as a sexual orientation so they feel free to come in and pick and choose what parts they like the most, what parts they want to keep, and throw the rest to the dogs.

They're blind to what they're doing, and any attempt at enlightening them of this fact is met with hostile remarks and mockery. According to them, we are considered slut-shaming for something we can't help, something we were born as. Just like most of them were called unnatural by the majority. They don't see the parallels.

They think that we're doing them wrong by being a minority and wanting to be known and accepted. They come into our space and divide us by their standards. Not ours. Theirs. While they accuse others when they define them, they define us. Again, they don't see the parallels.

But why are they doing this? They've been wronged before, they've been hurt. And they think we haven't been hurt enough. Not in their eyes. They call out others on their privilege, but they do not see their own. They don't want to be lumped together with the majority that has hurt them, but just because they hold one of the same privileges as the majority doesn't erase the things that they don't have privilege for. And when they're called out, told that what they're doing is hurtful, they ignore it and ridicule the ones who spoke out.

And this is just for aces. They ignore demis, grey-aces, and aromantics, and when they make their arguments, they ignore everyone's experiences besides gays and lesbians. To them, even without realizing it, we're all just something they can take their rage out on with little to no consequences to themselves.

Is this really about having Asexuality included in the word queer? Not really, but the GSM community really needs to figure that word out or accept all the definitions. What this is about is the Asexuality spectrum as valid sexual orientations that should be respected but are not by these people.

This is all I have to say on the subject, and I know I'll probably start an argument with this, but I hope that you've actually listened to what I've said instead of just heard.

I'd like to take this time to thank all of the people who are our allies. I'm extremely grateful for all of you even though I've never met most of you in person. I've never met another asexual in person either, but we do what we can.

Thank you.

[ace-reporter]

No response on why certain blogs were deleted...

Tumblr does not have a press contact. This is all I received from the organization.

Jim, Sep-27 19:34 (EDT):

Hey,

What email address and blog URL are you using on Tumblr?

An example of a blog URL is http://staff.tumblr.com. Please give us your blog URL in that format.

Jim

-- Tumblr Support [email protected]

This canned response has nothing to do with my concerns and the name of my blog was irrelevant to my inquiry.

Keep in mind I promised no results on this.

[apollyptica]

Aight.

At this point it's totally whatever. It's fine. 

Whatevs. I'll take blame for something I didn't do. 

I didn't get H-A taken down, but whatevs. It's cool. 

I thought H-A had valid criticisms but the way they were displayed was faulty. But whatevs. We can play the blame game.

It's all cool.

I'll sit here and watch my LPs on youtube while chillin' with my tablet.

[lantean]

What does attraction mean?

Let's see: The people who are saying that heteromantic are heterosexuals and homoromantics are homosexuals, etc. because the definitions of hetero/homosexuality have always meant just attraction to the opposite/same gender, let me tell you what you are really saying.

(I'm just going to use only one example instead of two now because I can get my information across just fine with one example.) Yes, the definition of heterosexuality was attraction to the opposite gender, but the term attraction implied both romantic and sexual. Why, you ask? Because before asexuals became known, there was no need to separate the terms. Now there are. Asexuals lack one part of the term attraction. 

And what does society do when something new comes around (medically, because of an invention, etc)? It makes new words to describe this "new" thing and refines the current definitions of already-in-use words so as to better understand everything.

Okay, I'm just going to leave this here. The people who believe that asexuality isn't a valid orientation need not reblog.