some thoughts on pressure:
I'm thankful that a lot of the bad practices of the dev team have been brought to light. I honestly never liked a lot of the dev team, but I ignored all official channels in favour of only interacting with the game or with select fandom spaces. I wish I never gave my time, effort, money, and appreciation to the pressure team.
even with the above, I've still lost a space and a community that were important to me. I thought it was a safe space when, in reality, the foundations had rot. in 2024, pressure became one of the few things I enjoyed during a severe depressive episode. in 2025 & 2026, it was a distraction from my job in an abusive workplace.
I regret loving the game, but I don't regret the love it created: my system has a Sebastian and a P.ai.nter fictive, and my subsystem's anger holder presents itself as an expendable in headspace. I don't think we can ever drop those associations.
I will still miss things. I'll miss badge-hunting with my brothers. learning speedrunning tech with my friends. the thing I'll miss most is guiding new players to their first win, I was always so proud.
I have 87 deaths and 78 wins. I was so excited to reach 100. I'm happy that I never will.