No but so seriously Mao I think khaslana coming back to see you is like 75% of the torture for him. With the others, it hurts, but he can force himself to be pragmatic about it. The story has to end before it can start again. And maybe this time it will be better and kinder and finally, finally, what he wants it to be.
But killing you feels like a butcher slaughtering his most beloved sheep. It has to be done. And it will stain his hands and he will never forget the smell of it on his skin or the look of you from his eyes-and that is both heartbreak and relief. It has to be done and he will do it. But do not cry do not fear do not tremble before the knife. Close your eyes and it will be little more than a dream and do not worry because you will be loved again. He knows his own heart he knows his own mind and he knows you will awaken to be loved once more. You exist to be loved, most beloved before the end of the world, so there is no need to fear.
Every version of him loves every version of you.
hi this is the most devastating thing I've ever received in my inbox over my 7 years of being on this webbed site I have to go cry now