#ask:marcus

[ruvviks]

32 and 33 for marcus if youre still taking these :]

oc asks!

32. How does your OC handle rejection?

very, very poorly. on the surface, marcus would appear mostly fine; he would take it, and leave it, but at the same time on the inside he is already making a variety of backup plans to ensure he will never have to be in that same situation ever again. the moment of rejection itself will be handled as gracefully as he possibly can, but it will absolutely show in his behavior afterwards that he did not take it lightly, and he will go very far to prevent similar situations, or simply avoid them altogether

33. How does your OC handle jealousy?

in all honesty, marcus wouldn't really know jealousy as a feeling or emotion. there are absolutely moments in which he would feel a pang of it in his chest, but he has never been able to fully put into words what exactly he's feeling in that moment, and i don't think he ever will. marcus isn't one to compare himself to others very quickly and rather focuses on himself and what he can or could or should be; skills and belongings and traits of other people remain theirs and theirs alone, and marcus doesn't necessarily feel one way or another about any of that. he's got better things to do, such as making sure to make himself so palatable he will never have to face rejection ever again

[ruvviks]

5, 9 and 13 for any oc?

oc asks!

5. What is your OC’s gender identity and sexual orientation? Is this also what they identify as in canon, or are they not (fully) aware?

marcus is a cis bisexual man, but wouldn't identify as bi in canon since he doesn't really concern himself with his sexuality. he does end up kissing a man later in the story, but it wouldn't open up conversation about his sexuality at all; and if anything, it all lines up perfectly with the themes of the story and how marcus pretends everything is still the same as it used to be, and nothing ever needs to be brought up because there's no point to it

9. Describe a mundane day in your OC’s life.

as a radio host, marcus starts his day early, often a little bit before sunrise. he wakes up as one of the first in the house, giving him some time to start up his radio show for any other early risers in town, after which he will put on a record while he goes to take a shower and freshen himself up. he has his breakfast while finding news to share on the show after a second and third record, then lets one of his housemates take over the station to make sure records keep playing while marcus himself is out of the house to run some quick errands

he returns around noon, picking up his radio show by answering some calls and having some conversations with the locals over lunch, after which he lets some more music play while he does some chores around the house; cleaning, washing up, doing laundry, etc. in the afternoon, he takes a moment to give listeners an update on the news he shared that morning and gives a weather forecast for the next day; then he lets one of his housemates take over again while he goes out to work at the community kitchen

marcus returns home between 6-7pm, and has a quick dinner before setting off again to take care of his mother in the quarantined part of town. after that, he leaves for the deep wastes to meet up with rue and see how georgie is doing; he returns home after sunset, and quickly wraps up his show for the day before brushing his teeth and going to bed

13. What is something your OC does (to others) that they would not like if others did to them? Are they aware that they do this?

marcus can be very condescending without realizing it. he has a very neutral tone of voice and demeanor, which makes it hard to tell if he's being judgmental or just trying to help out; it doesn't help that because of the objective and unbiased persona he has for his radio show he can also come across as cold and disinterested. one thing marcus really needs to learn, is that if he wants to properly help people when they need it, sometimes that means they don't want to hear the truth and just want someone to be there for them or to have someone's support

[ruvviks]

8, 12, 16, 26, and 31 for marcus!!

oc asks!

8. What does your OC’s family look like?

marcus' family consists of him, his older sister georgie, and his parents. in reality he has his grandparents on both sides too, as well as many uncles and aunts, and cousins, but he hasn't spoken to any of them in well over a decade and they may as well be dead to him. marcus' father passed away a long time ago and lay buried in the cemetery behind the church in his hometown, declivity; georgie is affected by the waste, stage-4, and lives in some abandoned apartment somewhere in the deep wastes with marcus' friend, rue. his mother is also affected by the waste, early stage-3, and she lives in her own home in the quarantined part of town

12. What is the worst thing that has happened to your OC? How has it affected their behavior, their health, and their life in general?

a couple of years ago, marcus spent a full week in a house with later stage waste affected people, to help take care of them. he did it willingly, and if you were to ask him he wouldn't say it was bad; he chose to do it, he wanted to make a difference, and he came out of it unscathed. yet at the same time, if anything, this week is what caused him to end up stuck in this endless cycle of denial; it's why he keeps pretending everything is fine, and the waste is just a disease like any other

ultimately, his mental state declined quickly after that week. he was unwell, and his housemates thought he had caught the disease, too; wouldn't eat, barely slept, didn't speak. he recovered, eventually, and pretended nothing had happened in the first place, pretended he hadn't been on the verge of starvation just so he wouldn't have to come face to face with reality. it's still easier for him to pretend nothing went wrong at all, and he loves to live in the comfort of the present moment, which can be a good thing; but in his case it's to not have to acknowledge anything in the past, to not have to admit he's doing bad

16. Is there anyone your OC has lost contact with? What happened?

marcus lost contact with one of his friends, amy, for a good few years. they were high school sweethearts; often described as a bonded pair, loved by everyone, they were going to get married and would grow old together. but marcus wanted more out of life; wanted to move to new york and study, to find his own place in the world. and amy thought it to be her duty to stay in georgia and be with her family, take care of them as they would grow old. disagreements led to arguments led to fights, and they broke off their engagement, and did not speak for a good few years

they've reunited now, now that the world has ended. share a house together with a handful of other people, and they can stand to be in the same room without wanting to tear each other's hair out. but they both know that things will never fully be the same ever again, and whenever they look at each other all they can see is everything that has changed about the other in the years they were apart

26. How quickly does your OC reach their breaking point? What are they like when this point has been reached?

marcus' breaking point was reached years ago, at some point on a random weekday in spring, a day he already cannot remember and was never all that significant in the first place. it's a gradual process; everything piling up bit by bit until the bucket overflows, and it keeps overflowing until he stops to take a break and allows himself to recover. marcus generally doesn't realize he's long reached his breaking point and thus often never fully recovers from it, and this time is no different

when marcus has reached his breaking point, he is exhausted. he doesn't necessarily change on the surface; it's just that on the inside everything is tuned down by 60%, and he feels slow and sluggish with, to him, no clear cause or explanation. if anything, it all causes him to push himself further, forcing himself to perform as well as he did before without addressing what's wrong; that way, other people will rarely even realize something is off about him, or that something happened in the first place

31. Are there any places or people your OC is avoiding?

answered here!

[ruvviks]

2, 25, 37, 38 for marcus :)

oc asks!

2. How does your OC remember their childhood? Is this an accurate reflection of what their childhood was actually like?

marcus remembers the quiet saturday mornings, the golden rays of sunlight through sheer curtains, the sound of sprinklers and birdsong through an opened window. he remembers playing with his sister, his father helping him with his homework, and cooking with his mother; all the quiet little things that brought him peace, everything that makes a childhood worth looking back on

it's not that he doesn't remember the screaming. the fights between his parents, his sister yelling at him and pulling his hair because he broke one of her dolls. it's not that he doesn't remember spending a whole afternoon and evening locked in the shed in the backyard because he snuck into his father's office and got caught, or being forced to read the bible until he would pass out each and every time he would curse on a sunday. but it's easier to pretend none of that happened; much easier to pretend he had it good

if he has to admit that his life improved drastically when the waste started disrupting everyday life, that would just make him a bad person, right?

25. What is your OC’s deepest desire? Would they ever ask for this?

marcus wants to be wanted. not in a casual or a useful way, necessarily; but in an obsessive way, he wants to be needed. he wants someone to want him so bad that it drives them insane, and he wants someone to take him and never let him go. he believes that to be devotion, and he believes that if he can have that, he won't ever need anything else; but he won't ever ask for it ever again, because last time he did, all it did was accelerate their inevitable breakup. not as if he has learned anything from that

37. What is the most common feeling or emotion in your OC’s life?

everything marcus does, is fueled by grief; but he isn't necessarily aware of that himself. i'd say it's denial that keeps him going; as long as he pretends everything is normal and fine, he can continue living his life. to him, the waste is not as destructive as others see it; to him, it's nothing more than a disease, much like the flu, and those who are affected by it are simply sick people, and to a degree he is right

but he fails to understand that a life lived as stage-4 affected can no longer be called a life. it's a body piloted by a parasite that needs human flesh to survive, and if anything that last shred of humanity is causing the body to reject it, to turn against itself. it's constant agony and complete lack of agency, and whatever shred of consciousness is left is forced to watch the body do whatever the parasite tells it to

marcus' denial is effectively making the life of his sister georgie (stage-4 affected) an endless nightmare. he does snap out of it later in the story, but by then it's already too late; and the feeling that then takes over from grief, is guilt

38. What is the most recurring theme in your OC’s nightmares?

marcus often dreams of finding himself paralyzed, laying on a flat surface all exposed with no way of defending himself. he watches as a horde of affected stumbles over to him and begin clawing their way into his torso to feed, and all he can do is watch. sometimes it hurts; sometimes it doesn't. he cannot scream, talk, or close his eyes. it happens often enough that it barely fazes him anymore, though the imagery often gets stuck in his head to the point that whenever he comes across a stage-4 affected in the midst of feeding, he finds himself stopping and staring, and wondering

[ruvviks]

18, 22, and 31 for marcus :)

oc asks!

18. What are your OC’s bad habits?

marcus is late very, very often. he doesn't necessarily do it on purpose, but he also very rarely makes an effort to wrap up his own activities in timely manner. on top of that, he also often lies about his previous whereabouts and what exactly he was doing; and he really isn't good at it. others often know that he was in the deep wastes or in the quarantined part of town, spending time with his waste-affected family members. yet something stops him from being honest about this. shame, perhaps?

22. How good is your OC at apologizing, if they do this at all?

marcus is mechanical, stiff, academical. it sounds more as if he is reading his lines from a piece of paper than anything else, which isn't necessarily a problem on its own; the problem is that you know that it's nothing more than courtesies to him. he apologizes when he knows he's expected to, or when he deems it appropriate, but there is very little feeling or meaning behind it other than him simply wanting to be able to move on from the moment itself; whether he does actually feel sorry deep down is a whole other suitcase to unpack. it's one of the feelings he has successfully managed to suppress within himself, so it is really hard to tell

31. Are there any places or people your OC is avoiding?

his father's grave. marcus hasn't visited in years, and isn't planning on doing so any time soon; he is scared of it, for some reason. scared of his father judging him, despite very obviously no longer being able to do so; scared of his father being angry at him for how he's handling the situation with his mother and sister and the disease, to the point he can't bring himself to go anywhere near it at all. this automatically means he is also avoiding the church in declivity, both because his father is buried behind it as well as for similar reasons, but then with god. not that marcus is religious necessarily. he's just better safe than sorry

[rennisaturate]

“are you seriously jealous right now?”

                         “ i dunno, maybe... ” marcus shrugged and looked up at her in slight confusion. “ is that what it is? ” he had to say he’d never really had these kinds of feelings in him before. possessiveness felt awkward on him, he didn’t like it at all.